Here's the deal. We tried and tried and tried and (you get the point) and then lost a baby and then tried and tried and looked into adoption and then got preggers with Oliver. While we were trying and going through all that up until now my BG's have been amazing- yes, I have been 'acting pregnant' for over 2 years now. You ladies know that they want pregnant women between 80 and 120. I have worked my tail off trying to achieve these goals and doing a great job at it. Now the end of this pregnancy is in sight. I have less than 8 weeks left, probably more like 6 weeks and I am SOOO BURNT OUT! My attitude is terrible. Insulin resistance has started and I just don't care to deal with it. I am frustrated with my BG's, I am tired of adjusting and failing, I am tired of the doctors, I am tired of carb counting. I literally have diabetes burn out but at the worst possible time. I KNOW I need to do these things, I know I need to take care of myself, I know that Oliver needs me to do my best and I feel like a terrible mother for just not WANTING to do it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am taking my insulin and wearing my continuous monitor and taking care of myself I just don't have the passion to do it anymore.
I guess I am looking for some encouragement just to get me to the finish line. The holidays are here, I feel like crap, I look even worse, and my BG's are pathetic (for me). Diabetes is not a sprint, it's a marathon and I have been sprinting for 2 years.
Any words of wisdom or thoughts are appreciated. Thanks so much!!!