8 years ago

So today, 8 years ago my father passed away after complications from back surgury.  I'm having a bit of a hard time getting through the day today so I decided to come on Juvenation to get some support.  Even though its been 8 years it is still so hard to deal with.  Has anyone else had to deal with this??? Any suggestions on how to get through?  Over the years I've learned that I need to get on with my life and I've tried to do things that would make my father proud of me but it still doesn't take the pain away.  This day is always so hard to get through.

i had this happen,But I did't really now my grandpa cass i think my mom and dad said he smoked and drack all the time and i wish he had not done that because i would have like to meet him at the time he dide i was age 1 since than i has been over 13 years since than well it will be on dec 21 well he dide on dec 21 1996 and now i just lisin to what my mom and dad talk about him and all the stroy's about him


I am so sorry to hear that you are having a tough time.  I have not lost a parent but I do know what it feels like to lose someone close to you.  You are doing the right thing talking to people about it.  I'm sure that your dad would be very proud of you now, but I know that does not make the pain any easier to deal with.  Just remember that getting on with your life does not mean you have to forget about him or love him any less.  If you need to talk about things you can message me and we can chat or I can put you in touch with people trained to help.


Amy - I am sorry to hear your story. I have not had a parent die, but we all experience loss in our own ways. As long as you are not being destructive to yourself or others in dealing with your pain, it is OK to deal with it in anyway that feels right. It is OK to feel sad and to grieve. I know from people around me that have lost spouses or parents that anniversary dates are always hard, no matter how long it is has been. You may just need to accept that on this day, you have to take the day off of work to spend time by yourself or with family members remembering your dad, looking at pictures, being sad. As Josh said, it is one thing to "get on with your life" but that doesn't mean you don't remember your dad or have to bury the feelings. It is work to deal with the pain and emotions, but in the end doing the work of grieving makes you stronger. I can tell your dad would be so proud of you. I'll be praying for you.


I am so sorry to hear this and I can't imagine what you are feeling. Please be with family and close friends ANY time that you feel down. Call someone, have someone over, go to someone's house, etc.. but please don't be alone. You will get through this because there really isn't any other option. I have been told that it never hurts any less, it just hurts less often. Please know that you are not alone and that you will get through today and every other day that follows.


Dear Amy,

My mom passed away on August 21, 1987 when I was 19.  The anniversary day is still hard for me, but it has gotten a little easier every year.  I still miss my mom and can't wait to see her in heaven.  I find comfort in my best friends and in my relationship with God.   God has also used my experiences with my mom's cancer and death to help others going through the same situation, so it helps me to know I can use my pain to help others.  I also remember how much my mom loved me and I am so grateful that I had her for as long as I did.   Clearly you loved your dad very much so he must have been a great dad.  I am sure he is watching you and is extremely proud of you. 


Hey Guys,

Thanks so much for all the support.  Yesterday was a really tough day for me but I made it through and all of your comments and encouragement really helped.  Even though its been 8 years it still hurts just as much as it did 8 years ago.  I'm not crying everyday like I was when it first happened but the anniversary is always really hard to get through.  Thanks so much for helping me make it through.