A question from a parent

My daughter is 11 (12 in June) she is the youngest child in our family and was diag. in October of 2008.  She has always been mature for her age, but since she has found out she has diabetes it seems like she has grown up over night!  Do you guys think you grew up faster because of this?  How as a parent can I help her talke care of her self, without having world war 560?  She is a very independent child and is always telling me she does not need me!  I would appreciate any help you might be able to give me!

Thank you,


My parents take more of a hands off approach and I like it.  I was diagnosed at 15 so I was a bit older and I immediately started doing everything myself.  It my A1C's are good my parents are not worried!

I was also diagnosed at age 11, so maybe this will be helpful. For me, I took care of myself becuase I needed to prove that I wasn't weakened by the disease. Whatever you do, DON'T, DON"T, PLEASE PLEASE DON"T make a face or groan when she has a high. Chances are, it's not her fault, and it'll make her feel stupid and inadequate. And she probably does need you from time to time, but let HER ask for your help. I'm still aloof with my mom unless I want her in the loop. I think it's a control thing, becuase there is so much you can't control after the diagnosis, and being "in charge" can lead to a very helpful self-esteem boost.

Thank you for your insight.  I was not sure if it would be ok to ask a question here, as I left my teens quite a long time ago!  I appreciate it!


Thank you Maria Rose, I found out the hard way about reacting to numbers, now I try real hard not to.  Thank you for your answer, I know some of the problems we are having is due to control, but after reading your response I am going to figure out ways to let go some and get Casie to commit to taking care of some things if I do.  I know it must be hard to live as a pre-teen/teen with the disease, it is also hard being on the parent side of it too.  I am just thankful that there are kids out there like you who will help us understand what is going on.!!

Thank you again,


[quote user="Kathy"]I know it must be hard to live as a pre-teen/teen with the disease, it is also hard being on the parent side of it too.[/quote]


You have a good point. I often forget about how tough it is on my parents. I know I myself can be a little harsh on my mom, and it's hard to remember she's dealing with it too.  Cassie sounds like a smart and level-headed girl-I bet if you two can find yourself a happy balance her A1c's will be amazing! 

Maria Rose

hi Kathy. i noticed your question and thought I'd drop a line. first off, congrats on having a daughter who is as mature as you describe. she's a brave one, that's for sure. my only advice would be to ALWAYS show your support no matter what. it can be the small things like checking up on the numbers every so often and a pat on the back. maybe a reward every now and then to show how proud you are of her. and like someone mentioned before, PLEASE don't ever make a face/rude comment about the highs. i know each time i checked my BS around my mom and it was a high, i felt like a knife just stabbed me as i glanced over and saw how hurt she was. good luck to your daughter and entire family.

I personally found exactly the same I was diagnosed when i was 5 (1999) and now i'm 17 and i'm very mature and independent but I did grow up so fast. I found it hard to interact with people around my own age ( still do at times) because they grew up together with ideas and acted in ways that I find immature or different and I don't understand why they do it and at times I become quite isolated and felt different to everyone else (apart from the diabetes.)

But the best way to help, how my parents were and how i thought about it myself, if your child lets you is just be there show her that diabetes doesn't make her different and just help her when you can and support her always, but what i hated my parents doing was A: if my BS was high or low i seemed to get interrogated and they wouldn't believe me and always treated me like i had caused it and B: if an argument ever breaks out over diabetes never say "I know how you feel or what your going through" unless you have it, my dad said it and i hit the roof and everything just escalated.

Good luck to everyone x

I most definitely had to grow up very quickly! the way that me and my mom handle it is that she orders my prescriptions but the rest I do! I handle my injection and glucose monitoring. I think that as an almost teenager your daughter will just want some independence, but at the same time she most definitely will need your help! I know that it helps me just knowing that my mom is there for me if i ever need her but at the same time I know that it is nice to have a little independence :)  

I was diagnosed at age 13, 4 days before the school year started.  My parents said that I was very mature because of it.  I was able to go until winter break until they had to pull me out of school.  but they said it seemed like i had grown up so much because of it.  It is a very grueling ordeal, and it hardens and matures everyone who has to go through it.

Definitely, but it doesn't mean I had any less fun! For the most part, I'd say only help when she asks. When I was diagnosed (I was 12) I didn't let the nurses or my parents give me a single injection except when I was forced to let my parents do one for legal reasons... point being that if her numbers are good I'd say let her do whatever she feels most comfortable with. Also try to remember that kids make mistakes, and that doesn't mean that they are no longer fit to take care of themselves. I've recently had problems with my parents because I had of month where I kinda got tired of it all and my blood sugar was bad and now I've realized and I'm trying to fix it but they seem convinced that I don't really want to and that they should start hovering. It's really not fun to feel like other people don't trust you with your own health. Honestly? The less she needs from you the better, because you can't be with her all the time, and as she gets older she'll be doing more and more on her own.