Angry today. Finally hit me and feeling all the feelings

So today, it finally hit me: I have type 1. I did fine the first few days after my diagnosis. My son has it, sister has it, grandfather had it. I understand it for the most part. But today, I had a low. And it scared me. And I lost it. Just started crying. Then I just got angry that this is happening to me. Now I sort of want to recluse and just be alone by myself.

I’m sure this is a normal response, but when will it end? I don’t want to feel this way. This all sucks. I’m sure all of you can understand and have been there. I don’t want this for my life, or my son’s life. I don’t want my family to have to worry because of me and my condition. I just don’t understand why this had to happen. My husband was diagnosed with cancer last year, and now this. Not sure how much one family can take.

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hi @HisWifeTheirMama I am not one to blow rainbows around the room so Ill tell it like it happens to me: you don’t ever get over it completely. First of all you’ve had a trauma. Post traumatic stress is real. The trauma includes a significant if not profound loss. All loss in all forms, you go through a grieving process. it’s not like grieving has a finish line. It just loses intensity over time. The grieving process involves generalities such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance whereas acceptance is concerned, sometimes I go through a little regression, especially when I experience another loss.

I’m glad you are talking about it. you have to keep talking about it. If you feel you are depressed the right thing to do is seek treatment. Some of the best therapists have a background and deal with PTS and grief.

We’ve all had to go through this. remember to keep talking about it. good luck.

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Hi @HisWifeTheirMama. You are living proof that as much as someone may know about Type1 from having family members who have it, there’s nothing like being diagnosed yourself. Your frustration, anger and whole range off feelings are completely normal. This is your new life and you don’t like it one bit. And who can blame you? But as you learn how your body responds, and start to adjust, things will get better. And things you have to think consciously about right now will become second nature over time.
You had a low today and it was scary. And you got through it! You knew the signs to watch for, or looked at your numbers, and you did what you needed to bring you out. That’s a win! You’re learning already!!
Your life is different than it was before but it doesn’t have to stop your dreams. There are Olympic and professional athletes, a Supreme Court Justice, and famous actors and musicians who have Type1 - as well as ordinary people like us, some of whom you know you know, and maybe others you may not.
Feel free to vent here on the forum but you might find local in-person groups on your area by using the Resources tab at the top of the page. Get the support you need, including counseling if you think it would be helpful.
You’re at the start of a learning curve so of course you’re feeling overwhelmed. We don’t know why we get Type1 - we didn’t do anything to cause it so we can’t find a reason or place blame. But you can get through one day at a time - some of them will be better than others, so don’t expect perfection and do forgive yourself when things don’t go as well as you would like. Hopefully your family will support you (who knows - down the road you and your son may place friendly bets on whose A1c is better or who has the better reading after dinner😊) and you have a medical team in place that ensures you learn and are responsive when you need them.
Keep us posted on how you’re doing, and I hope you will chime in on discussions when you’re ready.

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@HisWifeTheirMama, Sorry to hear this and know that it will get easier. I get the feeling from your posts That you are a fighter so I trust you will get through this stage shortly. For me the angry stage followed the one your experiencing, but not to worry as that one will pass as well. I had the same feelings your going through and they seem to repeat every once in a while. Keep pushing and live your life. It does get easier.

The bad news… I’m not sure it will fully go away until a cure is found.

The good news… we are all on this island together.

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