So I want to preface this with a statement of I know there is a similar post out there right now but I do not want to steal from the other thread. I am looking for some input into this situation.
The background, my friend Laurie has a 20 year old son who was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 14 years of age. In the beginning he was handling things well. However, for the past few years he has not been doing so hot. First of all, she is convinced that her son is suffering from depression, which I agree with. Might be suffering from diabulimia (jury out on that one from me), but in the end he is not taking care of himself.
Two years ago, he really stopped taking care of himself, not taking insulin, and was very unhealthy. He lost so much weight (hence Laurie's thoughts of Diabulimia). To help him cope with things Laurie did what she could, tried to setup meetings with counselors and the like. Which he did not do. He was not happy in school , but so bright, she had him test out of school by taking the High School equivalency tests. Which he aced. So he was able to work and stay home. He started smoking pot and got busted. Even though he was still on Parole he wanted to go to school in California. So Laurie and her husband did what they could to get him out there and he did a year out there. Not very happy, but decent grades...
He came back home this summer and decided he wanted to go up to Vermont as it was at least closed. He needed a car, so Laurie bribed him, if he kept his grades up and also went to the Doctor and took better care of himself, her and her husband would spring for a car. The bribe was because he again was not taking his insulin. In the fall before he went up to school he "needed" insulin, but he never found a new endo. for adults. He called his old ped. endo. and was able to get a one month supply of insulin.
When he got up to school my friend helped him find an Endo. up there to take care of him. He went to one appointment as far as Laurie has been able to find out and got a prescription for syringes and nothing else. He was supposed to go back two weeks later once the blood work came in. But never did. This is all Laurie has been able to get from the Endo office as he is an "adult". So she has been mad worried about her son again.
He came home over break, still thin and haggard, Laurie did not try to talk to him about his care and control because it turns into a huge fight. Now the other day she finally got his report card for the fall semester 1 B and 3 F's. While she is irritated about the grades, she is more concerned for her sons health and well being. She is convinced he is depressed which is why he doesn't take care of himself. I truly think the bad grades are from his extra curricular activities that got him in trouble back here.
Anyway, she decided she needs to really do something, because she is wasting money and worried about her son. She called his endo's office and got as much info from the receptionist as she could. Probably more than she should have, but she being a concerned mother most likely swayed the receptionist to help her out. She was able to get an appointment on Friday to go meet with the Nurse Practitioner for a good period of time to try and get things sorted out with her son.
Her plan is to head up early Friday morning with her husband and meet the son for lunch. (She let him know they were coming for that, not sure if he ever called her back though). After lunch she plans on basically dragging him to the Endo's office and trying to knock some sense into him. Now she asked me my opinion of the entire thing. I mean, yes I feel he is depressed, but I am not sure this is the best way to handle things. I did warn her that she must know that in ambushing her son like this, he might be mad at her for a long time. They used to fight all the time about his diabetes even after trips to the hospital for DKA in High School. I mean, I would be angry about this and I am not having the problems he does have.
How would you handle the situation? Do you think this is right? Any suggestions?
The one thing she plans on asking her son to do is to sign a release form so she can talk to his doctor's about his health care and also see a counselor. I suggested to contact the JDRF chapter up there for names of people who might be able to help, but again he is very evasive of anything that relates to the D-word.
This is way beyond me and because I am so close to both having the illness and wanting to help Laurie I can't feel this out properly. Thanks.