Just curious if there is anyone out there with a t1 child that has to send them to the other parent for visitation/parenting time. How does that go for you and the child?
My baby was dx when she was 2. Right before her 4th birthday I started letting her go to see her dad. We live in Detroit,MI, and her dad lives in Atlanta, GA. Previously, he would come visit her, but I never let her go without me. It was very hard, and stressful. Her dad really had a hard time understanding my reasons. I think he thought I was trying to keep her away from him, and we would fight and argue all the time. He didnt understand how hard caring for a baby on insulin actually is, and that I just wanted to wait until I felt comfortable.
I trained him on counting her carbs, giving her shots, and everything he needed to know. Then she went on a pump, which makes life easier. When we took our pump training class, He set up a pump training class in Georgia. He actually wore a practice pump with salt water in it for three days. Five months later, I felt comfortable enough to let her go for a whole week. I called him atleast 4-6 times a day...lol. Every time she was due for a finger poke. I had to know her numbers and what she ate and how much. I checked behind everything he did....I know I got on his last nerve. But things always get better. Now she goes for a week every other month. This last trip, she was gone 2 weeks and I hardly even called. I enjoyed my break, and although I missed her a lot, I wasn't worried about her. She was with her daddy who, despite our differences actually loves her as much as I do....
There are certain things that the daddy may not know, he's still learning too. I would just try to teach him as much as I can, be patient and take everything in stride......
You're very lucky she has a dad that is actually willing to learn. When I was married I did most, if not all, of her diabetes care. He would have never actually worn a trial-period pump. I tired to get him to put an infusion set in his own body (I already wear a pump) so he could actually feel what it was like to have one put in and stop telling our daughter to "stop crying...it doesn't hurt" when she gets emotionally upset during the infusion set changing time. He refused. Needless to say I realized that life was too short and divorced him.
Now my daughter goes there every other weekend. I have had to fight to get him to even listen to me when I try to explain her diabetes care. He wanted to take her on a trip over about 10 days but I refused to let him because he didn't even know how to change her pump site and was not open to me explaining how. One weekend I sent the manual that explained how to do it and my daughter could help explain some of the steps and he actually changed it...for the first time. He used insulin that was a couple months old so her blood sugars were high. It continues to be a battle.
I too have been very lucky. My son was diagnosed in Feb of 09 and his Dad had never been very good at following the rules. As a matter of fact, we had just separated in Aug of 08.
He has done the classes and I tell him where to be for other education and he will go. No groups or JDRF meetings. Nothing extra. Ty goes with his dad for 30 hours a weekend and so far it hasn't been too bad.
My ex's parents have taken all the classes and talk to me every week about Ty and his numbers, etc. They take him on weekend trips to see other family and are really on the ball right now because they are about to move to the next state over and want Ty to be able to come for a week or more at a time. I was worried the most about them in the beginning and they have been the best so far!
My parents on the other hand have been crummy!! I was shocked. They went to the hospital and took one class but basically act like they will break him and kinda stay away. My 17 year old daughter takes care of my son and knows all his business but my own parents can't? Shame!!
I wouldn't let your ex take your daughter away until he shows some real interest and maturity about her diabetes.
Maturity being the bigger word here! How do you tell a child to stop crying!?! I do not have diabetes and I have worn the test site and tried all of Ty's lancets before he does. Anything I can do to try to understand. ( his dad has had his bs tested by Ty)
Hang in there. You are doing a great job and making all the right choices. We are all here if you need us to vent.