I kinda laughed a little bit when I read "I was forced to go to counselling". Like does anyone think that being forced to go to counseling is REALLY going to help. Seriously. I've been there too. :)
When I was younger, High School mostly, I was motivated by the shear fact I needed to due to sports. I couldn't let my team mates down, or myself down, when it came to on the field performance.
After I stopped playing organized sports, I had a period where I was just sick and tired of thinking about. Just tried to pretend it didn't exist. However, as you are finding out, that just doesn't work well. You feel terrible all the time, and it stops you from doing something that you might want to be able to go do.
I have never hidden the fact that I absolutely detest The D (when I am really mad at it I won't even dignify it with a full spelling). Everyone here on this board hates The D.
What I did was harness that disdain and focused it to a point whose sole objection is to make The D sorry for affecting me. I imagine how with every normal BS reading I have, D is getting a bloody nose. I can laugh at its face. I have even yelled at it "That's all you got?". When I do my longer races - 24 hour stuff - that single thought is what keep me pedaling at 2am when I don't want to. With every single pedal stroke I am able to kick D in the face. And it feels GOOD.
Sounds ridiculous (to me even sometimes), but it is what gets me pushing through on days when the meter is all the way in the other room and I just don't want to go get it.
You just need to find your own method for dealing with the frustration that diabetes causes. All of us are affected by it at sometime. Going off course once in a while is not a bad things. Just keep you eye on the long term health goals and just keep on choppin' wood. That tree is going to come down. It has to.
Also, remember you are not alone in the fight. There are MILLIONS of us who are with you, and understand exactly what you are facing and feeling. Juvenation is a great destination to reach out for that extra hand, and just come to unload. No judgement. No lectures.