Bright future, destructive habits

Hi,

My name is Patricia and I am a type 1 diabetic. This is my first time reaching out, and using something like this. I have a bright future ahead of me but my diabetic habits are on such a destructive path. I have struggled with diabetes for a greater part of my life. It has caused problems with my relationship with my parents, as well as some friends. I still think I am in denial about having diabetes. I don’t take care of myself, I eat without bolusing, I don’t test EVER. I feel like I am digging myself into a hole that I can’t get out of.

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to accept my diabetes? I know that it ultimately comes down to me and what I do for myself, but I need support, in any form. I don’t wat to die young because of complications from something I could have prevented.

Thank you!

Hi Patricia,

Welcome! I’m glad you found this site. I only found it recently, and wish I had been a member here sooner. It’s easy to let your care for T1D go, and it’s really hard to get back into that tight control we know we’re supposed to have. But, we’ve all been in your shoes and had similar moments. It’s great that you know you need to start taking care of it a bit better - to me, that does not indicate denial.

Because of how complex it is to deal with T1D, I would suggest only changing one or two things at first, and just get yourself into a habit with those one or two things. Maybe one thing you can do is set an alarm on your phone to test your blood sugars at certain times each day (maybe start out with testing 3x each day?).

Once that becomes a little bit more normal, you could try increasing the number of times you test. Or, you could try adding a second part of the routine, which would be deciding whether insulin is needed and then giving the proper dosage. (I am guessing that you probably tend to run higher, rather than lower.)

I know it’s a pain, but it’s also a pain when you feel terrible every day because your blood sugars are out of whack. I always know when my sugars are high because I feel tired, thirsty, can’t focus, and overall, just terrible. That feeling is enough for me to make sure I keep testing and trying to keep my sugars in normal range.

I hope this helps! I’ll be thinking of you today.

In your heart, do you really believe you have a bright future?

If you do, then you’ll want to feel great as you live into your 90’s and bake cookies for your great-grandchildren.

I was you from high school through about age 25… never tested, blind bolused when I even thought to. I thought I would die young but I’m 41 and am complication-free. Now I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so many years feeling yucky, always recovering from highs and lows.

I don’t strive for perfection and I don’t care what my doctor thinks of my diabetes. I stopped feeling like a failure if my blood sugar was 350 or 35. I test so I can see if I need some insulin or food. It takes about 10 seconds. Ironically, by doing this the extreme highs and lows diminished and what seemed so impossible (testing and bolusing) doesn’t really seem like a big deal most of the time. I feel better because I’m not always recovering from highs and lows. I have energy to do what I want.

I still have diabetes. Sometimes I mess up. The world doesn’t end.

You can totally do this. YOU REALLY DO HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE SO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

hi Patricia

if it’s bothering you, you are already past denial.

taking care of yourself starts with wanting to - then learning how to. you’re moving in the right direction. the only advice I can give you is keep talking about it and enlist the help of others.

I did a very bad job for many years and didn’t test for more than 10 years. things changed for me when I stopped wanting to “not be sick” and accepting that which I cannot change. you’ll be okay because it is never too late to make positive changes in your life. believe that you are worth it and the rest falls into place when you work for it. good luck!

Thank you all so much for your answers! They were all really helpful!

Patricia, I hear you and I’m right there with you. I agree with Joe. You are way past denial as Joe said in his post. You have to want it to do it right. I would say, the first 5-8 years after being diagnosed, I did a great job with my diabetes. Did all the right things, but now I’m fighting myself trying to get back in the groove of things all over again. It all started with people noticing that I had it, then I figured, the only way I’m going to hide this is to trash the ol’pouch of lancets, glucometer, etc. Now days, those things are a lot smaller then what they used to be. It was only just a few years ago, that I don’t care who knows I have it, I have already proven to myself, that I can stand on my two feet. It is a bad habit, and a hard one to break. This site is a good site and I think, talking with others here will help you and I both out!! Hang in there Patricia.