I know how you feel! People always say " whach wat u eat" or " check your blood"! I mean seriously I know what 2 do, I have had type 1 scince I was 6. ( I am 12 ) Sometimes they never give you a chance 2 breath.
It's so great to see people who actually understand how i feel! it's virtually impossible to explain to other people what a low or high bs feels like and it drives me crazy when i try. just to say you feel dizzy or shaky doesn't even capture it at all. i'm so sick of the diabetes and how it interferes with my life! and i'm sick of other people thinking they know better than me what i should or should not be doing. if i want that cookie, i'm going to eat that cookie!!
luckily, after dating my boyfriend for 2 years, he now understand more or less how i feel and knows that i can have desserts and pasta. he also knows what to look for when my blood sugar is going low.. it's great to have his support, and he's not overbearing, which is nice. but he's basically the only one who doesn't try and tell me what to do!!
[quote user="Stephanie"]A lot of people can be so rude about it too. People are always telling me I shouldn't eat this or that! I watch my diet pretty strictly, but I for one must have chocolate!! ;D[/quote]
A the good ol' diabetes police you gotta love em.
Oh yes, i'm going through that feeling right now. It used to never bother me and I was a happy kid. Once I hit puberty, my bg went absolutely crazy and (now @ 16) I still feel like nothing I do works! I try and try and try but my bgs are still always high or bounvcing all over. My doctor doesn't get it and ive switched a million time. Im so frustrated!!!!!!! Ive had diabetes for 13/my16 years and Im sick and tired of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to top it off, I went on a pump three years ago and I still cringe at the thoguht of cahging my infusion set---im not good with any level of pain. It takes me at least half an hour to change it and when I need to change it, its the least of my priorities on a busy school night! Ahhhhhhhhhh! I know your frustrations, let me tell you.
OMG! yes...it is SOOO frustrating. I'm newly diagnosed (bout a month now) and I just want to scream when I try to make time for everything. I HATE leaving what I'm doing just to check my sugar....that, and people always look at me weird for it epesially when I show up late for meals. GAH!
Yeah it is tough.
but the thing is if we ignore it it only gets worse. i just went through finally accepting that i had to take care of myslef to feel better. some people just don't get it, but when i think that stuff i try to remind myself how serious diabetes is, and i can live my life out of a hospital...that's what gets me trhough!
there's a book out called diabetes burnout...get it...it's helpfull, and if not talk to someone...a professional or a parents or other diabetics!
This book sounds very interesting. I think diabetes burn out is scary because the disease is so difficult to deal with you can become burnt out and not even realize that it's happening. For example I think I've been burnt out the past 2 years, I haven't watched what I've eaten in terms of nutritional value or meticulously analyzed carb intake and that's lead to poor A1c's. The thing is though the whole time I blamed it on growing and diet changing from growing older (which is a part of it for sure, but not an excuse). I didn't realize that I had become burnt out and blamed my poor control on variables out of my control. Not healthy and kinda scary I can loose control. Does anyone else have a similar story?
I've thought about reading that book and I saw it in a nurse's office and asked her about it. She hadn't read it...but it was on her shelf. That's helpful.
I've had diabetes for 16 years now. I've never, ever been well controlled, even when I was younger and my parents were helping a lot. I've cried, threw things, and had nightmares about my feet falling off. I'm scared to get into a real relationship because someone may have to deal with me when I'm older and I can't see, can't walk, am on dialysis, and am basically a waste of space. I'm scared of having kids because I don't want to die early and have them go through that pain. I'm scared I'm going to die young, without having lived the life I want...because I'm too scared to live it.
But, at the same time, I've had diabetes for 16 years, and I have had no serious complications. I'm tired a lot, and I HATE being low, but I'm surviving, and I've done some amazing things in my life. So in some ways I have been really lucky.
I try to remember that every time I get upset. But the fact remains, I don't remember the last time I had a day in which I felt GOOD. People get frustrated with me because I'll get tired, or just feel rotten, and they think I'm lazy. But believe me, I would rather feel great then crappy- duh.
It just feels as though diabetes is something that you can't ever get a handle on. It's the big blob in my life.
I totally agree. I mean I have had diabetes pretty much my entire life so I think life would be pretty weird without it, but I get so tired of having to check my blood sugar and count carbs. Also, whenever I get low I always overeat, in regards to amount of carbs and sugar, because I just want to feel better, and then I end up going super high and sometimes it just seems like a never ending cycle.
Good God you must be a pain in the butt. Of course your Mom is going to "bitch". Your Hgb A1C is 9.2. You know what you're supposed to do and if you choose not to do it you also know the consequences. But instead of focusing on the consequences of "being bitched at" maybe you should start focusing on everytime your BG goes over 150 you have just increased your risk of end-organ damage, taking you one step closer to blindness, heart attack, stroke, kidney disease and dialysis. You are the individual that is going to bitch at society when you get older because society and insurance companies won't do enough for you after a lifetime of YOU damaging your body. Wake up. Yes, the disease sucks, you feel like crap most of the time and no one deserves it (not even a bitching Mom) but that doesn't make you any less responsible for your actions. You can manage this diseae better but are too angry to do so. You need to find a better way of displacing your anger. Right now you are just ruining your relationship with your Mom and destroying your body.
[quote user="rmeadowsaprn"]Good God you must be a pain in the butt. [/quote]
I personally try not judge others, especially those with type 1 and their falling off the "good control" wagon. Do you think what you wrote to Alix was helpful in anyway?
This disease makes kids grow up way too fast. And, after years of having an adult supervise everything you eat, how much insulin is given, and when blood glucose levels are checked, it can be difficult to mature into the healthy lifestyle we want everyone to live by. Alix is not alone in her current situation. No, it's not great, but listen - she's a teenager. I know it's tough, but try to remember how you knew more than your mother when you were a teen.
So, maybe instead of lecturing Alix, you could try encouraging her and offering some ideas how to take better control.
Alix - all you can do is try to do better. You know your mother is trying to help, and believe me she is just as frustrated at this disease as you (for the record - I was dx at 2 - 32 years ago, my daughter was dx at 4). You also know what you are supposed to do. Maybe talk to your mom about helping you build good habits. Maybe after two weeks or a month of checking and bolusing correctly, you get something you've been covetting. A manicure? A new purse? A pair of jeans you've wanted!?
I know personally, it's not that I choose not to check my BG, it's that I forget. Same goes for bolusing for a meal. It's not a conscious decision to NOT bolus. It's very difficult to explain to someone what it's like. It's even harder to believe because I rarely forget to bolus or check BG on my daughter. I also know that if I can get in to a good habit pattern of checking, I tend to check more. So, do your best to build those good habits. It's hard. You'll have times in your life you do really well, and times where you fall into a rut. You just gotta keep working at it.
Teenagers are teenagers, I agree. But for one to curse her mother out and wish this terrible disease on her just out of anger is rotten. Sure, maybe her mother is what she says. However the content of her reported mother's lecture was that of a mother who cares. Anyway, you made some assumptions of me that if you had known my background may just make you rethink your statement. My life is engulfed in Type I diabetes and the dimensions of my understanding are deep. I'm not here to defend myself though so I will not address the "try to remember" statement, nor the lecture you gave me on a child's growing up as a diabetic. I stand by what I said. Alix is displacing her anger and it is unhealthy and only going to ruin her health and her relationship with her mother. This in turn will place unnecessary demands on society and simply by petting someone who acts like this, (entitled) no matter what the age, is inappropriate. I'm sure she simply called me a b---- and moved on. Had I patronized her I wouldn't have helped her in any way either so it is a mute point to ask if I think my response to her was helpful. Not a lecture, an educated opinion. An observation.
If my sugar was just a hair higher, I’d probably have the good sense to sit on this and not send it… for what it’s worth – I may pull it down later…
If my sugar was just a hair higher, I’d probably have the good sense to sit on this and not send it… for what it’s worth – I may pull it down later…
Teenagers are teenagers and everyone in their thirties is the same, got it. First, I admit it has been a while since I was a teen but I seem to recall a few tirades against my parents. Tirades to my friends –… I think in some cases, with some people it may be normal for the age. In my case, I created other issues. Also, you are talking about how much you know through observation. I am curious how your comments took into account:
· Were the comments made immediately following an altercation?
· You stated “Maybe her mother is what she says” indicating, you could have as easily inserted, “I don’t know anything about her home life or her family at all.” Right?
· Was the Alix’s blood sugar low when the post was made?
· Is it easy to differentiate between displaced anger and the venting of frustration that is a part of the teenage evolution of learning to manage and control their emotions (and this on top of trying to manage a chronic illness)?
· What direction this young lady’s life will take as she continues to learn and grow…
You state with certainty that these things will ruin her relationship with her mother and that she will be a burden to society. Even if the statistics were to tell us that there was a 98% chance you are right (I suspect I am being generous, btw), that 98 out of 100 only matters if she is one of the 98. For me, I would liken it to when they told a friend of mine that he had a disease only 1 in tens of thousands of people got at his age. For him, the odds were 100%, he had it - what else could matter?
I admit my handling of emotions as a teen and my ability to sort things out evenly at that age were appallingly bad. Worse, I did a lot of damage to my relationship with my parents growing up and… Now, this part is important, so please pay attention: I have repaired that damage, with many years of work and I have never become a burden to society… And by all medical measures, my diabetes control is exceptional and I have no complications, no eye changes and excellent kidney function.
You have fashioned a response claiming to have definitive knowledge of the future and asserting a depth of knowledge that far exceeds the limited exposure online text affords and it looks to me an awful lot like a poorly conceived gratuitous attack on a child.
For Alix, my hope is that she finds the support she needs to find ways to make better decisions. My experience is that one doesn’t have to be great overnight, but slow and consistent progress improving one’s averages each day in every area can make a world of difference over time.
For you, I would request that if you feel compelled to embark on fortune telling and take the time to pick someone apart… please, please, please – pick me! I am a good and easy target and I promise that if you are designing your fiction with regard to me, I’ll try like the dickens not to question the validity of your crystal ball or to label your definition of “accurate observation” to be a special brand of thinly veiled cynicism. Okay - I may not try that hard... but I really am an easy target :)
I feel the same way. Everytime i see my endo and tell him about all the crazy unexplained highs or lows that i have even though i'm not changing my diet and pretty much eat the same stuff all the time, he always has some excuse to the fact that its because of somthing i must have done. If i have a sugar high like i did yesterday (i was over 12 for 9 hours) i took extra insluin, changed my infusion site, took a needle and ended up taking almost 60 units of bolus insulin before it decided to come back down to regular levels, he still said it must have been somthing i did because none of his "other" patiants have that problem.
Thats the most frustrating thing. i can have the same meals everyday at the same time everyday and still have different blood sugar levels with highs and lows, but nope its my fault because i'm apparently not controling it somehow. ??????
Does anyone else ever hear this from their doctors too?
[quote user="Becca L"]
After I was newly diagnosed (so I was six), a lady told me at church at the if I had been a better Christian, God wouldn't have given me diabetes. This is the kind of comment that could have really gotten to me, but for some reason, I knew that this woman was just being mean, and if she were a better Christian, she would have never even thought something like that.
I would dispute such a stupid comment; if SHE had been a better Christian, God would have given her a brain that actually works!!!
Does anyone else ever hear this from their doctors too?[/quote]
I have the same problem with my endo that you do. He believes that it always something that I have done wrong even when my husband has told him that I have been following everything that I am supposed and doing what I am supposed to be doing. I'm actually so sick of it I hate everytime that I have to go and see him.
No crystal ball. I simply said "right now" which is based on the information presented in her text. I too hope that all teenage diabetics have the support to make the right decisions about their diabetes control. The growth and development during that age is turbulant and confounds control enough without poor compliance on top of it. But displaced anger is never appropriate. I will agree to disagree with anyone who saw this child's text as improving her health or enhancing her relationship with her mother. Again, if she continues on this path (poor glycemic control and cursing and anger toward her mother) her relationship with her mother and her health will decline. Kudos to you for mending your relationship with your mother. And getting control of your blood sugars. You are "living proof" that anyone can change and there is no clear cut "destiny" or prediction of the future. I hope that you didn't hurt anyone too badly on the way. What's done is done. I'll let you speak with your endocrinologist about the impact of diabetes over time and what damage has or has not been done and you can listen to whatever you want to from him/her.
Hi. That is all I ever heard from the endos. Even though I was following all of their orders my sugars were still a roller coaster. They kept saying that it was something I was or wasn't doing. After all, by doing what I was supposed to be doing, this shouldn't be happening. I stopped going the endo and am letting me primary care dr take care of my diabetes. He is much more understanding. I hope you can find a dr that will understand that this disease is a constant balancing act. Good luck, Amanda
Alix, I totally understand where you're coming from with the mother problem. I've had to shut my mother out of my diabetes care because she was always negative. Anything remotely positive from her always came with a "but" or an edge of hesitation. Lows have always been huge, terrible things causing her to panic and curse. Well, it doesn't really help me, does it? It just makes me more emotionally unstable, especially with how wonky I get when I'm low. And even a small high, only a couple points high, is a drastic failure to her. So yes, I frequently think to myself - well let's see you manage it perfectly, then.
In terms of diabetes burnout, I have two main problems. The first is with good control comes a lot more lows. And I hate lows. With a passion. It just feels...terrible. The majority of you know what I mean. And my lows usually only have one thing in common: the fact that I am out of commission for a good half hour, at least. Other than that, they're all different. There's the lows where everything is normal, I just tremble and get weak, light-headed and break out in a cold sweat. But still functional. Then there's the lows where I get giddy and hyper, my speech slurs; most of my friends tell me it's basically the same as me being intoxicated. There's also the lows I get when I'm emotionally stressed, so I get even more emotionally stressed and I panic, usually breaking down in tears and become very shaky and confused.
As the frequency of these wonderful episodes goes up as my blood sugar control tightens, my desire for control decreases. Being high is so much easier to deal with than going low two or three times a day. I'd much rather drink a little extra water and go to the bathroom once an hour than go through a low. But then when the control gets too lax, and my sugars go to where they can no longer be charted and my ketone levels go through the roof, then the high becomes just as unbearable as the lows and just as dangerous.
The balancing act is driving me crazy and, as previously mentioned, with little support from my mother and a father who knows really nothing about it, I have no support in my home. I don't have any diabetic friends, so I have little support from friends other than "oh, that must be tough". So I'm going to try and build a support network through my endocrinologist's office. Apparently, I'm lucky in that I have a good and supportive endocrinologist. =)
It seems that at 39 you have a lot to learn about life, diabetes, and the treatment of others. My heart goes out to your poor daughter who will some day reach an age where she faces the full reality of what it is like to know that she will have diabetes for the rest of her life. I fear that this type of attitude will bring a negative influence to her psychological health and development. Believe me, diabetes management will become much harder as she gets older and hormones become active. How dare you judge someone else's life and struggles with such an insensitive manner. It is rude, disrespectful, and I (someone who spends a copious amount of time trying to manage my levels) am personally offended. I could tell right away that you do not have diabetes and have no right to talk about diabetes management as if following exactly what the doctor says will give you the desired results. It doesn’t. Don’t you think we have been reminded of all the complications that come with high levels enough? While it sure is important to manage your levels as best you can, this disease requires sensitivity and understanding. I would also like to remind you that there are so many people in this world sabotaging their health and will run into the problem you mentioned with the insurance companies: people who smoke, are obese, don’t exercise, do drugs, drink, etc. This site is meant to be supportive of others with helpful ideas for their emotional and physical wellbeing. Please consider this as you respond to those who are struggling. Thank you.