Anybody have suggestions on how to find somebody if you have a pump? I think most people would find it major turn off to see a pump. I use the omnipod, but the stupid thing can't be removed without losing the insulin. Even those that are coming that have no tube that have made the insulin holding piece of the pump removable, still require you to have some kind of patch thing on your body or something. I am thinking I may have to go back to not using a pump.
If you are worried about someone being weirded out by your pump, then that person is pretty shallow. It shouldn't be about your pump or your diabetes. It should be about the person you are!! Your pump shouldn't matter! Take this from a happily married woman whose husband loves her no matter what! I am the luckiest girl in the world!! Don't give up! It will happen when you least expect it!!
That's a tough question to answer, because for me - anyone who doesn't want to date you solely based on the fact that you wear a piece of equipment that helps you stay healthy isn't worth dating in the first place. How people react to your pump, and your diabetes in general, has a lot to do with how you yourself behave. If you act embarrassed or ashamed, people follow suit. If you are open and honest, and act like it's not a big deal, that's how they'll act, too. They take their cues from you, especially if they have no prior knowledge of our disease.
Hope you figure out something that works for you!
I was married, but now I am alone. During my marriage, I could tell my wife was sick of the whole diabetic thing. She would argue with me that it was alway about my diabetes, although I personally did not speak of it and tried to hide it as much as I could from her. When we finally were so far gone from loving each other, I switched to using a pump. Now, I am trying to find somebody, and it is like a horrible interview process. Everybody wants a perfect man: tall, rich, etc. I guess I am just troubled by the whole thing. It would be nice though to hear some experiences from those trying to find somebody and what happened. Seriously, I have the pump and use it, but I guess I am shallow then. I find it unattractive to see when I glance at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. I can understand, to some degree, why somebody would find it difficult to see and deal with. Do some people find themselves putting the pump on their lower back area to help hide it a bit? I find it difficult to attach there and awkward to sit with it there too in my car (I always it will get loose too).
How people react to your pump, and your diabetes in general, has a lot to do with how you yourself behave. If you act embarrassed or ashamed, people follow suit. If you are open and honest, and act like it's not a big deal, that's how they'll act, too. They take their cues from you, especially if they have no prior knowledge of our disease.[/quote]
Kim's got it right!
I have found the pump actually serves as a conversation piece. It allows them to ask questions about how it works and how it helps manage diabetes. It also shows this person (that I care about) is interested in understanding something that is a huge part of my life. If you're worried about the 'intimate' parts of dating, I can tell you the pump has never gotten in the way or interferred.
Again, as everyone else has mentioned, the pump shouldn't be the deciding factor in what makes or breaks a relationship. If it is, that person was probably just searching for a reason. Diabetes is one part of you, but it's not the only part. There are many more contributions making you the beautiful, fun, and interesting person you are.
Don't let the pump dictate your personal relationships. Pay attention to the other factors you look for in dating a guy :o)
That was a very thoughtful response. I will have to think about how I am reacting about it and how it might look to another. However, I see your post picture, and I got to believe that looking at good as you do in the picture would help a lot to distract from the pump.
I suppose a pump as a conversation piece may arise, but being curious is way different from being attracted.
Still, I love the responses you gave, but I still would like to hear some war stories on dating with a pump so I can learn some more about it.
It's really hard to respond without say exactly what others have said. The fact is, I can't say I know how you feel because I don't use the Omnipod. Maybe if you tried putting it where "love handles" would be that may help? Chances are you've already tried that though. I've read that some have put the pod on their upper arm. Ultimately though, it shouldn't matter where you put it. Personally, before I got intimate he already knew about it so I just showed him my infusion but that probably isn't always the answer either. lol. Kim's respose was perfect and so was everyone else's. Maybe you're worrying too much. :-)
If only he average person was so understanding and thoughtful as you all seem to be. You are definitely right though, I do worry a lot. Still, if I designed a pump, it would be really small, completely detachable (multiple canula insertion capability or something else), and have no silly tube thing. The insulin would be in cartridges or something equally small that you pop in so that you do not have to have days of insulin, which causes a small size limitation. You could have the cartridges in a small carry case, and when y our pump needs a new insulin infusion, you just pop one in. This would allow for the pump to work with social life situations better because of its size and detachability. Also, it would better if once these devices are made, insurance companies would more rapidly approve them. ;)
I can only tell you about my own experience. I met a guy online (Lavalife worked well for me) and we talked for a while and then went out on our first date. I don't know if the diabetes came up prior, but I whipped out my pump over lasagna and bolused, all my guy said after I explained what I was doing was "cool technology". He's a techie kind of guy. Later, after he found out that I had a kidney transplant, the first thing he did was ask me to thank my cousin (my donor) on my behalf. Of course, there was also a joke about what my scar looked like..... but that's for another time.
Never be afraid to be yourself and do what you have to do. You will meet the right person. Mike and I are now married and he stuck with me through a pancreas transplant and a 7 month hospital stay after an infection. And that was 4 months before the wedding. You will meet the right person, it just takes a while sometimes.
what an amazing story, coravh! thanks so much for sharing with us :o)
Inspiring story Cora!!
David, I agree. If only the average person was as understanding, but they aren't because they haven't had the exposure, or they don't want to because they are so into themselves they can't see past their own nose. Don't get down about it. The right person is out there, and the joy you'll feel when you meet her will make the wait completely worth it.
[quote user="David Shapiro"]I was married, but now I am alone. During my marriage, I could tell my wife was sick of the whole diabetic thing. She would argue with me that it was alway about my diabetes, although I personally did not speak of it and tried to hide it as much as I could from her. When we finally were so far gone from loving each other, I switched to using a pump. Now, I am trying to find somebody, and it is like a horrible interview process. Everybody wants a perfect man: tall, rich, etc. I guess I am just troubled by the whole thing. It would be nice though to hear some experiences from those trying to find somebody and what happened. Seriously, I have the pump and use it, but I guess I am shallow then. I find it unattractive to see when I glance at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. I can understand, to some degree, why somebody would find it difficult to see and deal with. Do some people find themselves putting the pump on their lower back area to help hide it a bit? I find it difficult to attach there and awkward to sit with it there too in my car (I always it will get loose too).[/quote]
I'm sorry you've had to deal with people who aren't understanding about diabetes and the pump. When I met my beloved, I was using pens at the time, but he didn't freak out about me being type 1. When I switched to the pump early last year, he thought it made me look like a cool cyborg. :)
Additionally, people who are only looking for "perfection" in all matters are people you'll want to avoid. My guy is 5'9" and unemployed, so he doesn't meet that "tall and rich" criteria a lot of women apparently demand, but I don't give a flying expletive because we are soulmates who share so many imaginative activities together. Forget about the Twilight-obsessed women who want Edward and 100 pairs of shoes and keep an eye out for a more sensible woman.
hahaha. amen, khendra!
I agree with JennCH, it was a pretty inspring story Cora. That story is worthly of getting a movie done about it. Your husband must have a heart of gold. Still, being 43, diabetic on a pump, makes me realize it would be a miracle to meet a soul as wonderful as him. Perhaps he has a cute sister?
Has anybody had the pump and then found somebody?
Agree with the others, it's like my signature. Yeah I have diabetes.. and?
Are you totally against using tubed pumps? I am on the Minimed Paradigm 722 and it is so so so easy to disconnect, at-site, with just the tiny site left in. You could look into pumps with tubing, if you feel like you might want to go that route.
Sorry David, his cute sister is married with 2 adorable kids. Keep in mind that I didn't meet Mike until I was 43 and when we got married it was a first marriage for both of us. Visiting the wedding shows prior to getting things organized we confused a lot of folks. It was pretty funny - the vendors would diplomatically suggest we didn't want anything big "this time". Snicker. We got to tell them this was a first time round for both of us.
Sometimes it takes some time, but if you keep looking, the right person will come along. Interestingly enough, Mike worked for my Dad from 81 - 85 but I never met him.
Sooo, MIke married the bosses daughter?!? ;)
I am glad you found each other, although late in life. Best of wishes to you for now and into the future.
What everyone else has said is so right. The right person will view diabetes as a part of you, not as the whole you. When I was dx'd, I'd already been married for 3 years (and we dated for 6 years before that) but my husband and never once wavered in his support of me and how I deal with diabetes. Ok, it's true that sometimes he has to pull me out of my pity-party and he does it pretty bluntly, but that's pretty much for my own good. When I switched to a pump I REALLY worried about how he'd take it. The tubing is annoying and you have to be careful not to catch it on something (or somebody!) and he has to be careful not to bump my infusion sites because it bugs me when he does, but these are things he accepts because he loves me and he knows that this piece of equipment is what keeps me alive and in such good health. Anyone worth being with, should be able to know, understand and accept this. He's been so great that he is the one who always puts in my CGM sensors for me. I like to put the sensor on the top of my backside but I can't reach by myself. Every 6 days, he dutifully puts in a new sensor and tapes it down for me.
My brother is getting married in 3 weeks - he's had D for 16 years. His fiance has been AMAZING in regards to getting him to take better care of himself and his diabetes. He was already on a pump when he met her, but he hardly ever checked his blood sugars and he didn't have an endocrinologist that he saw regularly. He was upfront about his diabetes and his pump right away and it didn't seem to faze her. As they got more serious in their dating relationship, she told him that it was really important to her that he take better care of himself so that he'd live a long and healthy life. She helped him find an endo and regulary reminds him to check his blood sugar. He's so much better off now that he has her in his life.
The right lady is out there for you, I'm sure of it. Sometimes, it just takes longer to find her. What Kim said is spot on - many people will tend to follow your lead on how you act and treat your diabetes. Be open, honest, and unapologetic. I have a thought in my head that I'm not quite sure how to say, so here goes and I hope it comes out right: In a sense, diabetes could be a good thing here...it will help you get right to the heart of a woman. If she instantly balks and is weirded out by you taking care of yourself, then she wasn't worth the time in the first place. You can move on quickly and not waste your time. Someone who is truly caring, loving, and kind will see past the pump and the meter to the man who is behind it all and won't get hung up on all those things. Does that make sense?