Doing it "right" and still being WRONG!

I am getting very tired of follow all the directions and getting the right this and that at the right time still having a by sky rocket!!! I’m tired of not feeling good I’m tired of getting it taken out on me. I’m tired of being told it’s his fault. I’m tired of my poor kid getting the brunt of his frustration. Ok I’m tired and I don’t even have it. I’m married to it. I’m tired of defending him!!! Ok I’m done. Anyone?

Haha Laurel,

I am tired of diabetes too. My mom could say the same thing........... I am done too

Are there specific areas you're struggling with?  What's the lowest you go in a day, what's the highest?  What's your A1c?  Do you use a pump or shots?

Make sure your expectations are realistic.  Even if you do everything perfectly all the time, there are too many variables that can affect blood sugar.  Every type 1 has highs and lows and just when you think you have doses perfected, something changes.  Several years ago I stopped stressing about it.  If my bs is low I eat a few glucose tablets, if bs is high I take a correction bolus.  If my sugars seem really off I take a look at what I'm eating and adjust my basal rate if needed.   Don't be too hard on yourself, but if you're really off track then let us know where you need help.  

Im not perfect nor will i ever be. I am always high... rarely low...... a1c 9.9

i know for a long time - he was afraid of lows so he stayed high on purpose!!  but know that he is paying more attention...he does much better...a lot time his lows follow corrections.  i get that kinda...i just wish we could go a week or two without major issues...and with everything else that's going on...it seems like the side effects are magnified 100x's!!!  

jenna - you said to make sure our expectations are reasonable...how would you define reasonable for a 22 year t1??

Laurel,

I know that it is very hard being married to a type 1.  I am married to a type 1.  He has had type 1 for almost 20 years now.  He hasn't always taken care of his disease but he is doing much better now.  I also have type 1, I was diagnosed 2 years ago.  As hard as this disease is on you, it is even harder for you husband.  I know because I have been on both sides of the situation.  I have been with my husband for 10 years.  I have dealt with him before my diagnosis and now after my diagnosis.  I don't think I ever realized how much work and effort went into controlling this disease until I myself was diagnosed.  That being said I can totally understand your frustration because it is hard to deal with from your side also.  The only thing I can say is to try to help him the best you can.  Unfortunately you can only do so much.  You can't help him if he is not willing to help himself.  As hard as it has been with me being diagnosed I think it actually helped my husband gain better control of his own type 1.  He now checks his sugar more often and is in the best control of his life.  Although he was heart broken when I was diagnosed, I know that he is taking better care of himself now and I am grateful for that.  It's important to remember that even when you do everything right you may have readings that are a little off sometimes.  You just have to test often, keep a log of what you are eating and what your sugars are before and after to try to figure out if he needs more or less insulin.  It's hard and frustrating at times but you just have to try to hang in there and support each other.  

Oh boy when it comes to me and my endo...she thinks I'm doing everything wrong...."no wonder your A1c is high.....no wonder your c-peptide is still low....no wonders..." still every time I do something right, she turns around and says something different. I love my endocrinologist, but lets work together girl!

Unfortunately reasonable for a 22-year-old is that he's not in the hospital...  young people drive too fast, drink too much alcohol, and diabetics blow off their diabetes.  

I rebelled against my diabetes through my teens and early 20's.  In high school my A1c was 14-15 and I didn't really go to the doctor in my 20's (it wasn't a priority).  This is pretty typical.  Despite my high numbers I have no complications and have had a 6.7 A1c without much effort for the last few years.  

Attached is an article written by the mom of a diabetic teen that you might find helpful.

www.diabetesmine.com/.../teens-with-diabete.html

Try not to nag your son.  He knows what he should be doing.  If you get the opportunity, ask if there's anything you can do to help him.  Of course I'm now the mom of a son and know that's easier said than done.  

It is okay to put limits on him for his safety, for example in high school my mom would make me test before driving and I couldn't go anywhere if I was low or about 250.  

At some point most diabetics outgrow this, just like they outgrow driving recklessly and getting drunk.

i completely 100% agree with you!