I know exactly how you feel. I have had Type 1 for 20 years and I would say about once every couple of years I have a similiar "melt down" I usually cry and vent while my poor husband who puts his arm around me and just listens. I know that I can eat just about whatever I want as long as I take the right amount of insulin, but that's not the part that is the hardest. It's like you said, it's the constant thinking about it - food, carbs, exercise, weight, insulin, A1C, blood sugar numbers, etc., etc., etc..... Sometimes I want to have just one day off from having to think like a Diabetic.
After my melt, down accompanied with a really good cry, I usually wash my face, take a long nap and wake up and realize that this IS my life. I need to take control of what I can control. For me, education and information is what makes me feel better. Somehow when I understand things it gives me a sense of control over my Diabetes.
I think we all need to allow ourselves to have these melt downs once in a while. We need to give ourselves permission to feel frustrated - as long as we get back up and refocus. I know it sounds crazy but we can control a lot of this disease. I am so grateful that I don't have something like cancer - because then I really wouldn't have any control. So, being Diabetic is a chronic disease from which its victims never get a day off. But at least its victims have a voice - to some extent.
I totallly understand your frustration and I hope that it helps to be able to vent if this type of a forum where so many others can truely understand how you are feeling. I love my husband and he is a phenominal listener, but he doesn't have this disease and no matter how much he empathisizes - he still doesn't have Diabetes. Please continue to reach out to those of us on juventation - we are here to listen, vent, and to share our stories and feelings.
I hope this helps.