Everyone around you is getting pregnant!

Hello ladies! I thought I would post to see if anyone has struggled with anger and jealous feelings when people (coworkers, friends, family, etc) around you are getting pregnant!! My boss is pregnant! The thing is when I started working there I knew she said her and her husband were planning, and I remember thinking how I would probably get preggo before her and she may feel bad (I know..lol) but long and behold they got pregnant before us. She has no clue that we are even trying. The only person that knows is my mom, who told my dad, but of course I don't discuss it with my dad lol.

When she would talk about her morning sickness and wanting the first trimester to be over, I would be saying in the inside, she does not know how many people would have to be going through what she is!! The only thing I have kinda mentioned is that it is sad when others have trouble getting pregnant or it takes a long time. I said it in hopes that she would be more thankful. It was in the context of our conversation so she has no clue about my troubles.

Anyone out there with similar situations? How do you deal? Honestly the way I have been dealing is acting like I have no interest at all in hearing about her talking about her baby. I know that sounds bad but I do not over react when she tells me things. Like she showed me one time what the baby looks at how many weeks she is, and I was just like oh okay. I don't really ask about the baby, or make any comments on her little bump. I just try my best to give minimal attention to it so she does not bring it up so much. I am not rude in any way but don't want to react too much and then she starts talking to me about it all the time.

I think not over reacting has helped by the way! She used to always say stuff in the beginning but it has gotten better. I may have only once been the one to ask her how she has been feeling, otherwise she is the one who starts talking about her pregnancy. My husband was actually the one who kind of suggested changing the subject when she talks about it.

Let me know what has worked for you ladies! I hate being jealous and angry! It is not her fault I have my troubles!

Thanks!!!

Hi I have been struggling to get pregnant also. I have a friend that get pregnant whenever she decides to get pregnant. She doesn't treat her kids that great either and makes me mad because there is people out there like you and I that are having trouble with getting pregnant. She also will say stuff like god only give babies to people who do bad things. I feel like slapping her for saying stuff like that. I find some way of being happy for the people who are pregnant. I feel that I will get pregnant when the time comes. Have you talked to your doctor about your struggles with not getting pregnant? How long have you been trying for? I'm not trying to pry I talked to my doctor and he said that he would not test me until its been a year of trying. Also I think anyone that is struggling to get pregnant my have some jealous or anger that everyone is getting pregnant and not me.

I don't know if helped any.

Meghan

I think you would feel better if you told your boss what is going on with you. Ask her to be discrete since you don't want people to know. Tell her you are heartbroken about not being able to get pregnant yet. Maybe she will have some hints or at least be more understanding of your lack of empathy with her pregnancy. She must be bursting at the seams with excitement and wants to talk about it! Treat her how you would like to be treated when you are pregnant. Wouldn't it be awful to get pregnant and have everyone avoid conversation with you because you talk about it too much?

My mother is driving me crazy by constantly giving me updates on what my cousin's children are doing and when they are due with their next child. I've been told most of my life that I cannot be pregnant with type 1 and I've recently realized that it can happen. We're going to start trying as soon as I get the ok from my endo. If it doesn't work out, there are always alternate methods of having children or spending time with children (volunteering with various organizations). There are many people with infertility issues and such who have it much worse. Try to be positive. Enjoy your life and freedom without children while you still can! Isn't there a cliche about getting pregnant as soon as you relax and don't think about it? See if it's true!

Good luck!

I've been trying for about 10 months now and I know exactly how you feel! My sister-in-law is very young and pregnant with her 4th. The other day, she said something along the lines of "If I weren't pregnant right now, I wouldn't want another baby." REALLY?! It makes me feel so bitter and jealous. I know it'll happen when it's right for us, but I'm so impatient!

I am so happy to see this thread! I lost a baby on Christmas 2011 after getting pregnant super quick. Then it took several more months that I would have liked to get pregnant again with my son (who is now almost 8 months old!) Between our loss and when we finally found out we were expecting Reed I was incredibly bitter and upset when it seemed like all of my friends and family were getting pregnant. What made me feel worse was feeling guilty for feeling that way. So my advice to you is... let yourself feel however you feel! Don't feel guilty for not being excited for your boss. Stress and negativity can adversely affect getting pregnant, and as easy as it is to say "just be happy for her!" you know how hard that actually is. I say keep doing what your doing: not being rude, but not planning her baby shower haha. I know it may not mean much, but you have my permission to feel angry and jealous. I know I did! I am with you 100% and I am praying that your time comes soon without any complications. :) Thinking of your chica!

Hello! Well I must admit we have only been trying for a few months BUT after two months of getting my period, it disappeared!! So I went to the doctor to discuss it and got some testing, and was diagnosed with PCOS. So I am grateful we found out early that we may need some help to get pregnant. I am not sure I was mentally ready to find out but can you imagine finding out after trying for a year?!  Yeah I have heard the year rule as well but I was able to go to the doctor for irregular periods and got some testing that way. How long you been trying?   Thanks so much for responding!! Yes your response helped!  :)

Previous response was to Meghantk. I did not know it just post it like this.

Maggie: Thanks so much for responding! And for the suggestions. I see what you mean as in treat her like I would want to be treated. If I was preggo, I would want to talk about it too! I am not rude by any means of course. :)  I do not plan on talking to her about it. I am not comfortable with that. At least not right now.   Great suggestion though!

Erica1710: Thanks for understanding! Thanks for response!

Rebekah: I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for saying my feelings are okay and valid too! And if I still work there by the time she has the baby, I just might be planning an office baby shower. lol But I have decide that I will have the whole office plan it instead of just me. We work in a small office so it would be like the whole office is throwing it for her! :)

Thanks!! I am so thankful for TypeOneNation!

Hi I have been trying for 6 months. I'm trying not to focus so much on getting pregnant hopefully that well work. I think when you can't get pregnant you start putting pressure on yourself because as a women your suppose to be able have a baby. In a perfect world I guess. But a least you know that you have PCOS and now you can start taking the right steps. Yeah its sometimes hard to wrap your mind around being diagnosed with something. I know when I was diagnosed with celiac disease I had hard time wrapping my mind around that I cried and then took it day by day. I wish my doctor would have tested me. Just to ease my mind, because I feel that if there is something wrong we can fix or find a solution. Yeah I agree with about trying for a year then being diagnosed with PCOS. To me it would be a waste of time. I have been looking into the alternative like adopting, surrogate which is expensive, etc. I hope for you and I that it will happen, its not our time and it will happen. The funny thing about this is I didn't what to have kids up until I met my husband which is crazy. I'm just glad that there is other people out there to talk to about this and understand.

Meghan

Let's pray for plenty of baby dust!!! :) I am glad there are other people to talk to as well. :)

I'm so happy your brought this up. I can honestly say that reading this I burst into tears. I've been trying for quite some time to get pregnant and it does seem like it is in the water. EVERYONE is getting pregnant. My best friend is now pregnant with her third and she's 21 and I hate it because she tells me how she wasn't even trying for any of them! I have so many friends who told me they never wanted kids and now they're pregnant. I myself have so much anger because I feel like the only path in the world for me is to be a mom and I've been prepping myself since I was sixteen. I know i'm crazy.. But it's so hard. It's not fair. I have no idea where to direct my anger or jealousy. I do find it comforting when my friends have their babies and I spend so much time with them. Holding them and just praying it will be me soon. I can say as for your boss, I don't think you're being rude. It's hard for you and honestly some people just don't get into the whole baby fever so I doubt your boss is taking it personally. I know for myself I was just at the OBGYN getting an ultrasound for PCOS and everyone around me was pregnant and all I wanted to do was leave. It's hard and we're here for you. Keep your head up, your day will come. :)

Hi Emily!! Thanks for responding!! I just knew there had to be people out there that can relate!! I guess I just needed to talk about these feelings. Of course I talked to my husband about it but he does not seem to be the same way. But my husband is pretty laid back. :) I know it must be hard for you with your BFF being pregnant. Just out of curiosity, does she know you are trying? Nobody knows we are trying except my mom. One of my best friends is not even married so she just can't relate at all, and the other cannot have children of her own and has adopted so it is just kinda a touchy subject. I do have a close friend who is married with a toddler, but I don't know, I just don't want to talk about it. Well besides here online!! lol I had an ultrasound for PCOS a week or so go, and I was diagnosed last week. :/  I have been praying for these angry and jealous feelings to disappear. Our day will come though!! Trying to be positive!! Trying....lol

Hi L! of course, it is wonderful to know you're not the only one going through this. I know when they first told me all the information about getting pregnant with type 1 i felt alone and hurt and scared. and NO ONE could understand. I can totally relate with the husband who is laid back, mine is beyond laid back. Which is great because he can level head me, but at the same time, all I want to do is shake him.

It is hard to see everyone close around me. It gets me going, on the fact that everyone can so easily get pregnant and i'm being put on restrictions and limits and guidelines. I have to follow an exact order and everyone around is drinking this pregnancy water and having babies. People don't know we're exactly trying, they know we want kids. I just tell people, if it happens it happens if it doesn't it will.

When we found out, my husband told me 'oh don't worry if you can't have kids, we will just adopt.' which is wonderful and of course that's an option. But I want one of my own, and I will go through every measure to make sure I tried that route a million times before adopting. It's hard to voice your feelings, I totally understand. I've been sitting here with people who can complain about pregnancy or toddlers and i'm just like stop, you have no idea how good you have it. You have no idea how every time you tell me something negative it stabs me in the heart. Ha, i don't tell them this. But I wish I could.

I was diagnosed with PCOS last week as well, i'm here for you. :)

Those feelings will vanish with time. You're time will come, and when it does, you will be an even better mom for coming through everything.

Thanks for sharing!! I was diagnosed recently with PCOS as well. I am not fully convinced yet. I don't have the cyst on ovaries symptoms, which I thought is one of the main symptoms. Did your doctor tell you that it is common in Type 1 Diabetics? My doctor did not say a whole lot of nothing! Which his why I may be switching! We go back again next week to see what the plan is to get us preggo!!  

Hello everyone!! So update is my boss is not talking as much about her pregnancy anymore! Thank goodness!! LOL...I know that sounds awful but I was about sick of the complaining. I will probably be the same way one day lol... She will say stuff of course, but I just smile and nod and don't really entertain. Again, not rude in anyway though. :)

Hello everyone!! Happy Holidays!! Update: My bitterness quickly changed after my boss’ first trimester! I think she was just getting on my nerves from all the pregnancy talk and complaining in the first trimester. LOL
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Please share any good news!!
The only news I have is that I am on my first month of Clomid 50mg.

Here’s my update: my best friend got pregnant after casually trying for 3 months. THAT’S ALL! Three months. I’ve been trying for 13 months now. Life just isn’t fair.

Girl I know how you feel! I am convinced that Facebook and Infertility are not meant to be friends!! lol I am not on facebook because I just cannot handle all the pregnancy announcements. I signed into Facebook just to be nosy a few days ago, and saw that two of my fb friends were happily knocked with baby number 2. And a few were knocked with baby number one. Those losers!! (kidding; well maybe lol ;). We have been trying for 10 months now. I know my husband and I are still in the early ages of the TTC world but still.
Does your best friend know your situation?
Nobody but my mom and dad know ours. I am just not ready to talk about it yet. My fear is that the longer it takes though, the more I will feel like I have some explaining to do as to why we don’t have kids yet. You know people start asking more and more about it, the longer you have been married.

My best friend does know my whole situation, which is why it’s annoying. She knew since last summer that we were trying, and originally she wanted to start trying in the spring of this year. When I told her about my problems with my cycle taking forever to regulate after going off of birth control (before I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explained that), she decided to stop her birth control early to make sure her body would be ready by spring. Well, it was ready right away, and she got pregnant. Actually, she For a while, I was telling both of my best friends what was going on every month (ovulation, period, etc.), but then I realized that I was actually stressing them out by telling them everything too! Funny (that’s totally sarcastic) story: I had a completely ignorant (male) coworker come up to my BFF (who is also my coworker) and I and say to me, “Erica, how does it feel to lost the race to getting pregnant?”. I was speechless. I texted him later and politely put him in his place.

Wow!! I cannot believe your male coworker said that!! Who says that? lol. I would have been speechless too. And good for you for privately putting him in his place. :slight_smile: