Feeling Defeated (and venting)

For the past few months I’ve been working my hardest at lowering my HbA1c, my last doctors appointment in November it was 8.0, down from 8.9 in August. I have the Medtronic 670G and I’ve been using it to my advantage to help me reach my goal of a lower A1c (my goal is to be below 7) and I uploaded my pump to Carelink tonight for the first time since my appointment, and in the reports it’s able to show an estimated HbA1c… and it showed still at 8.0. I’ve done so much and I’ve been in better control than I have in a long time and it seems that nothing has influenced it and I feel kind of defeated :pensive:

@Ebiekelsea hi Kelsea,

waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit a minute.

are you saying that 8.9 to an 8.0 was defeat? no way.

I like math and I use it every day at work. 2 things you have to realize is that movement towards a goal is what you are looking for… not perfection, the other is the closer to 6.0 you get the more effort you need.

my bg meter says my 90 day low is 35 and my 90 day high was 395… I don’t look at this usually because the numbers are snapshots in time. these numbers are information and do not indicate if I am doing a good or bad job, the 35 said drink juice now and the 395 said “change your infusion site… now” that’s it. it doesn’t mean I am dumb or I stink or I am bad.

since diabetes is a pain in the neck… belly, backside, fingers, etc., it might just seem easier to say you’ve tried everything and give up than to carry on. i have felt like this a lot, you don’t have to believe me but it passes. my guiding light for this disease and the endless work is :one day at a time.

Hi Kelsea @Ebiekelsea,

I just read some really grand news, “… and I’ve been in better control than I have been …”. Isn’t that our goal? That is my goal.

And as @joe just said, those are just numbers that give us information and if we are thinking , guidance to actions we should be taking. My question for you, what has the range of your BG readings been since you began using the 670G? The standard deviation, day by day, that appears on your CareLink reports? I like seeing my standard deviation less than 30.

I want my next pump to be the 670G.

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