Feeling selfish for hating my T1D

I’m 27 and have had T1D for 26 years. I feel like my diabetes is spinning out of control. I take meds for depression, but my psychiatrist advised me to see a therapist. I’m in this mindset that a therapist can’t help because he/she doesn’t truly know what a diabetic goes through. So I decided to start this in hopes of finding others who share my feelings about diabetes. I had an endo tell me that since I’ve had diabetes for so long, this is when the complications start. How do I stop the downward spiral? Does anybody else hate this disease?


Please see a therapist! It helps! I was exactly like you for YEARS. Until one day I snapped. I went through the hardest time of my life because I was stubborn. The downward spiral doesn’t have to last! You can pick yourself up and live a happy life, WITH diabetes. It takes a while to start feeling yourself again but, you can do it! I am living proof!!!

A therapist may not know what you go through, Heck, I may not know what you go through either. Only you can make a difference in your life. A therapist gives you the tools to teach you how to get back to feeling better. They don’t have to know.

The first step is taking care of yourself. Baby steps. Every day say to yourself… Today I will… write down what I ate. Today I will…check my blood sugar two times. Today I will…take a walk, ETC… Write a journal, draw a picture whatever it takes.

Take a deep breath, it’s going to get better!

What you’re experiencing is a normal part of making peace with your diabetes. There is a point where you have to decide if you are a statistic or a person.

Diabetes is not a death sentence.

You have a long, healthy life ahead of you. Figure out what you’re going to do with it.

Your endo may tell you that “this is when diabetics get complications” but that’s not accurate. Some do. A small percentage get one complication. But what about you personally. Frankly, you should get a new endo who know what he/she is talking about.

You also should take the time to learn about diabetes yourself instead of living in fear of the unknown. I know as diabetics people are quick to tell you stories about their aunt who went blind and had her feet amputate and still kept eating candy. But don’t miss the fact that their aunt was 85 and had type 2 diabetes and smoked and was morbidly obese.

I was diagnosed at 4. My A1c was crazy high when I was a rebellious teenager. The dreaded complications never happened. I had a completely healthy pregnancy at age 32. I’m 41 now and am still healthy and complication-free. My health is not magic. I’m alive an well because of an insulin pump that reversed my hypoglycemia unawareness and lisinopril, which reversed beginning kidney damage I was beginning to have. Many researchers think lisinopril will make diabetic-related kidney disease a thing of the past. I’ve also heard from people on this forum and know someone in real life who went through kidney disease, had transplants, and are doing great.

Complications are more than the amount of time you’re had diabetes or your blood sugar levels. Have you read the Joslin Medalist Studies on people who’ve had D for 50 years or more with no complications? And think about it, these people had diabetes before glucose meters, modern insulins, or multiple daily injections. When I was diagnosed in the 1970’s diabetics were told by the ADA to eat low fat, high carbohydrate diets!

If a counselor helps you, then great. I haven’t had much luck with counselors because they really can’t understand what it’s like to live with diabetes.

I used to see my diabetes as a curse. Then like a death sentence. Now I see it like a blessing. It has made me face my own mortality in a way people my age rarely do. I have become a cooler, more compassionate person because of it. I have had to accept help from other people. I know my husband LOVES me because he was not phased at all by it, though he is still mystified that my blood sugar can’t be perfect all the time (it seems so easy in theory!). I am diabetic. I would not have chosen it, yet it is a important, defining part of who I am.

So true…my hubby is supportive but no one can truly understand what the day to day is like, even our medical team. Our bodies are broken - there is a very important function that others take for granted, and our bodies don’t do it anymore, so the best we can do is try to mimic that process somewhat. I’m dealing with beginning kidney disease and neuropathy after 31 years, but I’m trying to further tighten my control and hopefully some of this will turn around. Last home A1C kit last week showed 6.3, and while my prior A1Cs have been okay (about 7), there were a lot of seriously rollercoaster numbers in there. So it feels good and positive to be with a new endo who is not hours away, and actually takes the time to look at things and do some major tweaking. It’s depressing, don’t get me wrong, and this has been a really rough last few weeks, crying like crazy. We need to consistently give ourselves a break and pat each other on the back for getting back on the horse and riding - and that’s why we’re here for each other!