Just needed to put it out there in a place where others might know what I'm going through:
For the past few years I have neglected my health and my diabetes. I know how bad this has been for me. I've had everyone tell me how much damage and harm I can be causing myself - my parents, my nurse, my boyfriend - but never has it really triggered any action to really get my butt in gear again. I have always said: "Yeah, I should really try and get it all under control again." But it was always a one day, maybe two, effort, then I would resort back to my old bad habits. Nothing really gave me the motivation. The end didn't justify the means to me yet. And I realize the absurdity of that statement, but it's the way my mind worked. Whether is was burn out or just laziness, I couldn't have cared less about regulating my control.
BUT... recently my attitude has changed. I can't really pick out what did it for me, but it's as if someone flipped a switch. I have been testing regularly, before and after meals and other time, too (my mom made a comment about how with me, it's all or nothing) and been methodical about taking my injections (except for today, where a late start to the day threw off my schedule and I forgot my Lantus at the right time).
I'm quite proud of myself so far. My BGs have improved so much. I'm not used to seeing numbers below 10 mmol/L so often. Now I have to work on refining my ratios and dosages so I can clear up the constant lows.
This has made such a huge improvement in so many areas regarding how I feel. I have more energy, my mind feels like it's working faster, I have the confidence now in my ability to control this, rather than trying to ignore it and letting it create havoc on my body. Now the only problem I'm having is combating the weight gain that comes with actually having decent BGs and taking my insulin properly, but that's a lot lighter a load than the T1.
Next on the agenda: actually going back to my endo and being proud of what I have accomplished, rather than being afraid to go because of the result of my HbA1c.
Thanks all who read this! Any one with any helpful hints to keep at it, please share. Any help to keep on track will be SO appreciated. It would be AMAZING to have my next HbA1c under 8. =)
Take care everyone!! And best of luck to everyone else on their own paths!