Hello all! It is that time of year again for FOOD, FOOD, and MORE FOOD. But what are your options? Are you going on a strict diet to eat less carbs or do you pig out and do you splurge on sweets or do you skip out?
Holiday’s used to be no biggie for me. I used to eat whatever I wanted, as long as, I counted for it. Those were the good days! Unfortunately, our anxiety gets to us and things don’t last like they should. Last year was different and this year will be the same. These days, my carbohydrate intake is 35 carbs or under for each meal and I only eat a sweet if my blood sugar is under 150.
To explain, last May (of 2018) I went through a dramatic change with my diabetes. I was taking care of it, but I wasn’t as cautious as I’ve been this past year. I had just went to the endo and everything seemed good. My Mom and I ate at Chick afterwards (which was my favorite place). My blood sugar was perfect at 112, I was hungry, and we had just ordered our food. I went ahead and took my insulin before eating, which was 52 carbs and my pump gave me 8 units. I’ll never forget this day. As I waited 5 minutes for my food, my Mom asked why I had counted for all my food instead of just half, just in case I didn’t eat it. After I thought about that question and realized it was too late to cancel my insulin, I panicked. You know what happened about that? I went into an all panic mode where I couldn’t eat my food when it arrived, made a horrific scene not only embarrassing myself, but my Mom. I also wasted my food and instead scarfed down a fruit cup and a frozen lemonade (easy when your throat closes up). Ever since that day, I have not eaten over 45 carbs per meal or even taken more than 5.30 units. I have also dealt with fear of going places with no nutrition facts, taking a huge dose of insulin, and I have not gotten over it a year and a half later. Has this ever happened to anyone else? It sucks so bad, but I don’t think I’ll ever get back to eating a lot of carbs (and dosing huge amounts) and be happy at the same time. I’ve cut out all pasta, pizza, and just REAL food! Talking about this makes me sad and hurts my heart, but I’d like to know if anyone else has experienced this and still does to this day?
With the holidays, I only eat how my blood sugar is. If it’s good, I’ll eat maybe 30 carbs with a small sweet. If it’s bad, I’ll eat only 15 carbs and more protein. I don’t know how to get over this! I know it doesn’t hurt to splurge, but I feel so depressed, especially being around people whose plates are full of carbs and mine so deserted. This is so off topic, but I didn’t even eat cake on my birthday in July because the carb ratio didn’t fit my meal.