Horrible re-plays

Hey guys

ive had the betes since march 8th 2011 and im almost 15.

Im comin up on the 2 year mark.

Am i the only one that gets flashbacks of diagnosis ? that re-plays and re-plays until your almost teary ? I do and they make me really upset but i cant seem to get them to stop for a while.

Anyone know how to get them to stop cuz they make me really upset

hi Tobi,  it's been over thirty years since my diagnosis and I remember the hospital stay, I don't feel bad about it anymore though, a  lot has changed for me since I was 11.

When the re-plays start for me,  it's because of frustration.  I get them for all sorts of reasons but there is always frustration behind it.  I have to ask myself - why do you think you keep playing it over in your head?  is there something you think yuou did wrong? do you think it's going to come out different?  and then when I get some time to think about it I feel better after a while.  

welcome to T1N, sorry about your diagnosis.  there's tons of people here who know how you feel.

I remember my diagnosis vividly.  The doctor stabbed me right in the pad of my middle finger tip to get HUGE drop of blood, and it really HURT.  Then when the test showed my glucose was over 600 he told me I had T1D and would have to take shots from then on.  I have a phobia of needles, and actually went into mild shock. My vision greyed and I had trouble staying upright.

Your experience sounds a bit like a post-traumatic stress response.  There are some strategies that might (or might not) work to help you break the reinforcement cycle of memory->distress->memory.  One is to think in present and future terms, like what are you going to do now vs. what was it like to find out you had T1D.  Also, think about some people close to you and how much you care about each other.  Sometimes becoming involved in a very engaging activity, something that you enjoy and especially something that involves a lot of physical exercise will help.

Also just knowing that you are not alone - there are quite a number of people who have shared your experience.  We are here for you.  We understand.  We care.

Being diagnosed is a pretty traumatic, life changing event Tobi.  It makes sense that it stays on your mind.

Just know that with time traumatic events ususally fade a lot.  Know too that diabetes won't wreck your life.  There's no reason you can't have a good life and do all sorts of cool things.  

Some people are more prone to obsessing too.  Something like 10% of people have anxiety disorders, which can take the form of worrying too much, obsessive compulsive disorder, and other disorders.  There are books and counselors that can teach you how to manage your worry.  Some doctors prescribe drugs for it, but with anxiety behavioral therapy usually is better.  I've learned a lot about this because my husband has struggled with anxiety for most of his life.  Learning about it and making changes in how he deals with obsessive thoughts or worries has helped him reduce it a lot.  Not sure if that's what you're dealing with, but if so, know that there is help.  

yeah i actually have had anxiety disorder for 5 yrs

Hi Tobi,

In my family we have to deal with diabetes and anxiety too. If you don't mind I suggest you look into mindfulness meditation practice. We have found this very helpful. What you might learn is that those memories are only thoughts now and they can't hurt you. They are just thoughts. There is more to it than that but that is a place to start.

Much like thinking about a scary movie scene for example doesn't make the scene real your thoughts are just your thoughts be it a personal memory or remembering a scene from a movie. They are just thoughts and you can learn to not let them frighten you so much.

Going over the same thoughts over and over is called rumination and it is common in depression and anxiety. There are medicines that help with this too.

There is a workbook on mindfulness for teens that we have found helpful as well as an iPhone/Ipad app.