I am sure i am not the only working parent out there....am i the only one that stresses out everytime i leave the house to go to work? We do not live near our family and friends and sometimes my sales job takes me 3-4 hours from home. My son is almost 16, so this never bothered me until his diagnosis (July 09) but I am panicky about leaving and going so far away. Currently i am trying to work a modified shift without telling my manager (thus far he has not been very supportive), staying closer to home, only going where my cell phone works, calling to check in regularly....I think i may be better when he is in school, at least i hope so! Any suggestions would be very helpful!
I have a 2 Daughters one is 14 the other one is 10 and she is Diabetic. I have a full time job and my older Daughter is responsible for my younger one and her Diabetes. (She has taken a babysitting class and is really good with the diabetes, counting carbs and such) and I don't work to far from home, but are neighbors are retired so I have their phone number posted on my cabinet and i have talked to them about the girls so they do keep an eye on them for me. Do you have neighbors close by that maybe could check in on him once and awhile or just call or he can call them if there is a problem?
Being that he was just diagnosed how is he coping with everything?
Take Care and Good Luck!
Jennifer - I am sorry about your son's recent dx. My son was also diagnosed this summer - at the end of May. He is 3.5 yrs old. - I took 2 weeks off of work after the dx to get back to where I felt comfortable leaving him at daycare. It is hard to leave them at first - I think no matter what their age. For instance - you know he can do his BG checks and his shots without you - and my son is too little for that. But your son can also make and eat whatever he wants with or without telling you and or covering it with insulin and my little guy can't do that yet - so it is just different things to worry about. So I don't really have any suggestions, but that it will get easier.
I would also encourage you to work with your HR and apply for FMLA. You can use this if needed for unexpected days away from work and they can't penalize you for it - its the law. (Assuming your company/office is over 50 people). And be up front with your manager. I know this is hard - I have had to do it and it wasn't met with the greatest response, but he did agree to work with me on a modified schedule and different responsibilities.
I would also make sure on the days you are traveling that you do find a friend or neighbor that can drop by the house 1-2 times to check on him.
Jill, He seems to be coping fairly well, although recently he forgot to take his AM dose of insulin and his sugar was in normal range...so he determined that the diagnoses was a mistake. I told him that i wished with all my heart it was a mistake and i hate that he is going through this, but it is not a mistake. He is nervous about school, worried about people making fun of him. He is pissed off some days that he can't "eat like a normal kid". But he is coping with it much better than i thought he would. I had him in therapy prior to diagnoses (for depression, anxiety), so maybe that has helped? As for the neighbors, i live in a very well maintained neighborhood with a neighborhood association, sidewalks, streetlights....but nobody talks to anybody else! I am not sure if it is a Florida thing (most everyone is a transplant from elsewhere) or what. I have met the neighbors on both sides, both of them work out of the house. There are several houses that people from the north only live in part of the year....i am not sure how to approach any of these people to ask for help? That has always been a weakness of mine. Most of my neighbors own the house they live in, i am just a renter, so i don't go to the neighborhood association meetings that they have once per quarter. Not sure if they would let me. I did get a letter from them the other day because i left my garbage can in front of my garage instead of INSIDE my garage for 4 days, so at least i have a number to contact the association....I would never buy a house in this neighborhood!
Thanks for the encouragement...I did call corporate HR and found out that my company (a division of one of the largest pharma companies in the world) does have FMLA for things like this. Apparently you can take it consecutively or intermittently. It can also be paid FMLA if approved by your manager. Strangely enough, our division has their on HR head and he was not aware of any of this. My manager is head of our "diversity and inclusion" group that is comprised of mostly women. He also was not aware of any of this. We suspect that there will be layoffs or a spin off of our division in sept/oct and I have been told by my associates not to raise any red flags, just do what i need to do to take care of myself and my son. Unfortunately, subterfuge and dishonesty does not sit well with me and causes me more unneeded stress. Today I am still at home because we had some lows during the night that kept us up and I am exhausted! I can do some of my job from my house over the phone and fax, but that does not replace the face to face time that is necessary to keep business growing. As you can tell, i am stressed and overwhelmed from all angles! My son's father is in the picture but we never married, never lived together so support from him is little to none. The first week my son was home from the hospital, we never even heard from his dad until i called him. Out of sight, out of mind, i guess...he lives 4 hrs away. Anyway, thank you for hearing me vent and providing useful suggestions...it is so nice to have some support from someone who has been there!
I am glad to hear he is coping pretty well. It is a huge adjustment for these kids. I give them soo much credit! That's funny that he said he was misdiagnosed. He is in the honeymoon stage so his body is still producing it's own insulin and that is why he will see his blood sugar do that. I remember those days with my Daughter where she didn't need so much insulin because she was still producing some of her own. You said you were up with him last night because of some lows...does he wake himself up with the lows or are you doing nightly checks on him and than waking him up?
I am sorry to hear that you do not have much support there! Please know that we here on juvenation are here to support you anytime!! Does he have friends in the area that he hangs out with that he can introduce the diabetes to? I think it would be good for him to reach out to a friend and be able to talk about it. Or maybe find a local chapter that you guys can join and he can meet other teenagers with Diabetes. Whatever you guys do I wish you all the best! Things will get much better as time goes on!!!
Jill, I wake up and check his sugar at 3AM. He is not an easy person to wake up (we have the "Sonic Boom" Alarm clock to wake him up for school :). ) Although two times since his diagnosis (1mth) i have slept through the 3am alarm....sometimes i am so stressed about waking up to do the test i just don't go to sleep until 3am. If I didn't feel like a crazy person before, I definitely do now!!!
As for him finding friends with Diabetes he can talk to...he has a friend who he has known for years that has diabetes (type 1). I wonder how well this friend takes care of himself though. I hope to get him on this website to connect with a few people, although he is resisting it currently. There is no local support group in our area, I am looking at maybe starting one. I don't know how i could have made it thus far without the information and support provided by this group!!!!
Check out your local JDRF. The one here in Columbus is great. They have parties once a month. 1 week ofter diagnosis we were at a pool party where my daughter got to see alot of other kids doing all kinds of crazy water things and it made her feel better. Also the American Diabeteic Associations does some things. They have a summer camp up here, though it was too late for her to go. It might give you some options to meet others who could help or just listen.
I remember the first month after my Daughter was diagnosed. I could not sleep, eat. I shook all the time. I remember I went to her school at lunch to do her blood sugar and get her ready to eat. As I am taking her blood sugar my hands are just shaking and I couldn't stop them. She asked me "Mom why are you shaking so much". I just told her because I was so cold (Thank God it was winter time and I live in Wisconsin! Otherwise I would not have had an excuse). I lost 7 pounds in the first week of her diagnosis. Needless to say I put them back on :( So...you are not a crazy person...if you are than we all are!!! :)
I am sure your Son will come around and become more comfortable with it and maybe want to reach out to some other kids that have Diabetes. It all takes time. Think about how much pressure kids have on them already and than to add Diabetes on top of it. Yikes! You seem like a terrific Mom though and you guys will deal with it together. Before you know it, it'll be just a normal part of who he is and what you do on an everyday basis. He will be just fine :)
I have lost 10lbs in since drew was diagnosed in July. I told everyone i was on the diabetes weight loss plan. When asked what it was...I explained my son had been diagnosed as type 1 and I was so stressed out I couldn't eat! Not the best way to drop weight...
I am encouraged to hear that this will get better. I tend try to hard too be super-mom, super-employee, super-housekeeper, etc...I am working hard on letting some things go. The housework will be there waiting on me, right? Thanks to everyone for the continued support! I hope all parents of diabetic children find this site early in the diagnosis as opposed to later in the diagnosis!
My daughter checks in regularly all day. She knows the rules if I call the house phone and then her then her cell phone she better answer, because I will be on my way to my car. It is stressful sometimes, nothing like it was at first. She is 11 and extremely responsible. I have been very lucky, she is very smart. I think unfortunately at her age if she was going to get it, it was a good age...I say that because I feel like it was an age that she could be responsible enough to do things and to understand but not be as rebelious as other ages.
I remember calling into staff meetings for the first two months bc my blackberry didnt get a signal in the conference room where they were held. That was when she was in school all day and come home in the afternoon alone. Summer is harder but like I said, its gotten alot better, even though it never goes away.
I hope this helps in anyway. I am lucky I work for a great company, that is very understanding and family freindly. I am a single mom and my oldest daughter moved to Florida to go to school two months before Samantha was diagnosed.
Why havent you told your boss? You dont have to tell everyone, but I would tell him!
LOL, put that boy to work!! He can clean the house too. :) (I mean that in a sarcastic funny way)(just in case the humor gets lost in the translation that is email)
Here's what I couldn't believe: my son was dx on a Wednesday and put in the hospital. Friday afternoon he is released from the hospital and it almost seemed like bringing home a newborn: so much to know, so scared, can't believe they're trusting me with his care. Then that Monday I had to turn him over to the public school!! I was totally dazed/shocked/petrified for a month.
Now, three months later, I realize how far we've come. First, and I recommend this strongly, particularly to those prone to worry like I am,-- diabetic camp. My son is off at diabetic camp right now, and although I feel guilty about it, I am so relaxed. Wow--he's some place where he's in better hands with his diabetes than when he is at home. He's some place where I do not have to worry about his diabetes. It's been so good for me to see that this is possible, and I'm sure he's having a blast.
Second, I am so thankful for his attitude and the attitude of his friends. Disregarding some of the "ooh, gross, shots" squealing that I hear out of some of the girls, his friends have been so good about learning what they need to know if he ever needs help. His best friend's mom learned about how to give a glucagon shot so that my son could spend the night (totally nerve-wracking for me). Two of his best friends have given him an insulin shot, just to learn, be more comfortable with the idea of shots, translate that to some of the nerves needed for the likely-never-to-be-needed glucagon shot (and one of those friends has six out of seven classes with him this year--as she did last year).
I confess, though, to ranking higher on the worry scale on the occasions when he is at home alone. I am fortunate to work part time and so mostly I'm at home in the afternoons after I picked the kids up at school. We won't let him go for runs alone and I think we've discourage playing basketball in the backyard alone when we aren't home, because he always drops low. Maybe later.
That's all. Just wanted to say "diabetic camp." Probably too late for now, just check on it. Some places do things on weekends through the year and it's something to think about for next summer.
AMEN. I hear ya. Same thing here. Admitted on a Wednesday, learned bout carbs and shots and insulin and everything else there is in about 48 hours with about 2 hours of sleep. It was terrifying to say the least. My boyfriend came over that Friday (out forst fay home) and we were both cryint bc we couldnt get any blood to test. Boy, have we come along way.
She has been real good about feeling when her bs is getting too low. I can tell when it is bc her lips get real pale real fast. when its high she talks very very fast and is very moody. God forbid the horomones are kicking in now too. :)
She is kind of a control freak (no idea where she gets it) :) She has done everything one week to the day of being diagnosed. Once she got the pump the only thing she doesnt like to do is the infusion on the site. It pinches a bit and you cant really hesitate when you do it. When she first got the pump it was almost like day one all over again. waking her up eery three hours to check her blook sugar and even drinking 100% JUICE it was dropping down to 50, so that was pretty hard. Three weeks checking every three hours. Ughh. But the pump has worked out great for us.
I tried to get her to go to camp but she did not want to go. She spends the night out (with trusted parents of friends of course) She always takes her supplies with her and her tube of frosting. Maybe next year she will go.
I hope you have a great day and know that things will get better, then youll get the pump and have aniexty all over again.
[quote user="Victoria"]I hope you have a great day and know that things will get better, then youll get the pump and have aniexty all over again.[/quote]
LOL. Ah, with my son's endocrinologist not willing to consider that until the spring, we're forever from that change. Just like forever from when my son goes away for six weeks next summer. Things I don't have to think about today. Funny how some things are just so much easier to get into Scarlett O'Hara mode about (fiddle dee dee, I'll think about that tomorrow).
Oh, he does get put to work ;)!!! I had him mowing the yard his first week home from the hospital....a really bad idea! He was still pretty weak, i not a "slave driver" but i was trying to get life back to normal. Plus with all the stuff leading up to diagnosis, and trying to balance a sick child and work, there was nothing about the house, the yard, or our life that was even remotely "in order". I guess I need to give up on that dream for a while!!! :p
I agree, leaving your son creates a lot of anxiety. Recently my second child left for college and this left my diabetic son home alone until my husband or I returned from work. This is the only time that I thank God for cell phones or text messaging. I make him check in with one of us, but sometimes he acts like the teenager he is and forgets!!!!!
A trustworthy neighbor or parent of one of his friends is always good to enlist in case of an emergent situation. My son's friends and their parents have been a great support. Talk to your son about how important it is to you to know that he is safe and come up with some compromise of a plan. The major concern would be a severe low. So maybe you can work out a plan for him to text you his blood sugar during the course of the day and talk about ways to prevent severe lows. I have my cell phone number listed under MOM ICE (in case of emergencey) so if he is out of the house I am readily available.
This a fairly new diagnosis for your son and your family. You will find what works best for you, keep trying.
This is sooooooo good to hear!! My daughter (she is 17) was taken to hospital via ambulance Sunday in DKS (BG @ 39.7) where we learned she has Type 1. We spent 48 hours learning at the Diabetes clinic there, and I'm absolutely exhausted... she came home from hospital last night with her pens and meter, and successfully did her carb counting this morning, and packed her meter into her bag and went to school!! We are in shock... I'm a little uneasy, knowing what she was like Sunday when she went to hospital, but hopefully she paid enough attention when we were learning and knows what to look for.
I'm so glad I found this forum from the beginning!