How do you do it

i was just diagnosed almost 2 months ago and i feel like its just totally ruined my life. i know that there are you people out there who has had it for years. i was wondering how you did it and continue. im so sick and tired of my parents and friends only wondering about my diabeties and not if i am having depression or emotional unbalance or anything. its like my friends only care about “it” and not me personally. all they ask is OH MY GOD ARE YOU HAVING A LOW?? im like no… and each night, i cry myself to sleep because i have lost friends, who were very important to me, and i still have a friend, who still, but only every once and a while, asks how im doing… but, really the only person, who is always there for me, is my boyfriend, who as well has T1D…


I am sorry that you feel that diabetes is ruining your life, but think of it this way. The people who stick around and care about you are the ones you want to be your friends. You really do find out who true friends are when something happens to you. It sounds like your family and friends do care or they wouldn’t be asking you about depression or if you are low.

What I can say is that things do get easier with time and you will surround yourself with good people who truly care about you. I’m sure your family loves you and wants to help you so let them. They are going to ask you questions try not to beat yourself up about everything. You are learning and so are they. Hang in there!

Yeah, that’s a pretty typical experience at first. I’ve had it 31 years. After a year or so, people will settle down once they get used to it and see that you are doing OK and working through diabetes stuff like highs and lows and counting carbs. You’re an ambassador of T1D now, like it or not, so inevitably you will need to explain things to curious and concerned people, and dispel the many myths that people hear. But I promise the hovering will settle down in time. That’s cool that your boyfriend is too, at least he gets it!

It’s weird isn’t it, how once you’re diagnosed everybody acts like you’re an instant diabetic who feels no pain and doesn’t like sugar anymore? Like that comes along with your pancreas not working.

Until people go through being diagnosed with a chronic disease they can’t understand that it affects your entire life and impacts you emotionally too. You go through mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be and accepting that while your life isn’t ruined it will be a lot different. It takes time for all that to happen.

Your family and friends love you, but they aren’t psychic. If you need to talk then let them know. You can try talking to a counselor too.

I have to warn you that you may not get the understanding you’re looking for from other people. In my experience they just cannot understand. My husband loves me and understands the logistics of diabetes, but he doesn’t really get what it’s like to have to test constantly through the day, to have a crazy high sugar even though I thought I carb counted right, to realize I’ve run out of glucose tablets and feel like my blood sugar is dropping while I’m watching our son’s school play and can’t easily get sugar, and all the other real life stuff that happens. The only other people I’ve found who really understand are diabetics, which is why I appreciate this site.

diagnosed in 1984 and heard from friends in high school how I ‘better not eat that, I know someone that didn’t take care of themselves and had xyz happened to them’, annoying back then, today not so much. I have been all over the world, lived in Japan for years, a country where someone with diabetes (don’t care for the term ‘diabetics’, we have diabetes but are not defined by that) is expected to be of ill health, frail and ‘doomed’. The stereotypical responses have annoyed me many times. I work in research, and can tell you that many highly educated people (even in health professions) don’t know much about diabetes outside of what they might have seen a grandparent go through.

It will get a lot easier once you are able to establish a pattern for yourself. Some people will make comments that seem annoying, but most are made out of concern, and a certain amount of lack of knowledge. If you want to help your parents and family and yourself at the same time, learn everything you can about diabetes, how it works, why it works that way etc. etc. and you will be able to help them see and teach something while helping yourself at the same time.
One great advantage to doing so…you will know more about your body than most people, how it responds to all sorts of things, and will be much better off. Cry all you want, I still do sometimes :slight_smile: DM has made me very sensitive to what other people have to deal with, that has been a great gift! Don’t be shy about gently telling others (including family) that you are not comfortable with some of the comments they make, and are happy to answer any questions they have or work with them to find answers.