Any and all tips would be greatly appreciated. My partner and I have been together for 5.5 years (I was diagnosed before meeting them). In the beginning, my partner didn’t really understand the disease and didn’t really try to understand it either. When I was having a bad day or experiencing distress, I would try to explain what was going on. Their response oftentimes was that I just needed to change my mindset.
It hurt so much to hear that. It made me feel alone, misunderstood, and like my experience was being dismissed.
My partner would insist that if I just changed my mindest, things would be easier and that if other diabetics seemed to be handling it so well, so why couldn’t I? I never knew how to respond to this. I tried explaining that every diabetic’s experience is different and that comparing two people with diabetes isn’t fair. They would also say things like, “If cancer patients can be positive, why can’t you?”
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of focusing on what you can control and being kind to oneself…but to say, “Change your mindset” is an oversimplification of what it’s like to have diabetes - or any illness.
My partner is now a lot more understanding and supportive of my diabetes, but so many years of less than understanding responses had a long-lasting affect on me. I try to talk to him about his past behavior and how dark of a time that was for me, but I’m still met with “You need to change your mindset”. They say that they were coming from a place of love and wanting what’s best for me because they don’t like to see me suffer, but that’s really hard to believe when what I was saying about my experience wasn’t being taken seriously.
How do you handle situations where people are dismissive of your experience with diabetes? How do you respond if people say that you just need to change your mindset?
For context: I had a high A1C before we met, but have since then brought it down to a 5.9%. Even with the low A1C, I have really hard days due to what I suspect is nerve damage from bringing my A1C down quickly. I struggle day-to-day to get things done even though my numbers are great on paper. I’ve been working with my endo to see what else could be going on and possible solutions.