Husband to a wife with a newly diagnosed T1D

So my daughter was diagnosed a year ago today. It has been a difficult adjustment but we have been able to deal with it the best we could. My daughter is 15 and while she is not religious with keeping tabs of her levels, and loves pizza and all carb-loaded foods, she has not been rebellious and has taken her insulin regularly. My concern is that she is not talking about what she feels. My wife feels that she NEEDS to talk about it. Frankly, i feel we ALL need to talk about it but i am the only one on this board interestingly enough. So my question is, how can i get my daughter to talk, and my wife to stop redirecting and talk as well?

hello jginel71,
well you made it through the first year, that’s good. you know you asked a really hard question. it is my opinion that you can’t make anyone face their emotions and talk about them. I have found that people tend to open up when they feel comfortable doing so, or when they can’t take it anymore and have to talk about them. I have also found that if I want people to be open and intimate with me, then I need to be open and intimate with them. So can you say that for all of your own issues, that you have been 100% open to addressing and talking about them? if “no” then I think you have to understand why and then lead by example. Your daughter might feel more comfortable talking to her mom about certain things, and so may not want or be able to tell you everything. anyway, there are just my thoughts, no offense intended.

Hi, I’m not a parent so I can only share how I felt when I was diagnosed at age 16. I was about like your daughter, ate lots of junk but took my insulin so I thought that was enough. Over time, the messages of self-management started sinking in and with baby steps, I gained pretty good control after college was over. In a nutshell, I just wanted to be normal (whatever that is). I didn’t have the time or energy to think about it all the time - it can be literally exhausting since it’s never far from our minds. I had hobbies, school activities, friends, boyfriends, and life stuff preoccupied me. That was 31 years ago, and I’m doing pretty well considering. She may not be one who talks about it much, and that’s OK. At this point, I would focus on making sure she gets her labs checked quarterly to make sure her A1C is in a decent range and not trending upward, and teaching her how to count carbs as accurately as possible. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to have any kind of teenage/college life and still manage T1D tightly, plus it can take several years to figure out what works. Just let her know you’re there, that you’re motivated to help her through this journey (it’s a long and bumpy one).