I need Help!

		<img src="http://t1n-migration.10uplabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/mad.gif" title="Mad" class="inlineimg" border="0" />Hi, I am new to the 

group, I sought it out for some much needed help. My daughter is almost
15 and has been type I diabetic since she was 10. She is on a mini-med
pump. Her numbers most of the time are not very good, consistently in
the 200+ range sometimes much much higher 500+. Now when I am right
there to take care of her and make sure she is doing it right, her
numbers are good. But being that she is 15 I am not with her much of
the time. So here is the deal, she sneaks food all the time!!! (and is
very good at it!) She does not measure her food accurately, she waits
to long after meals to take her shot ( she is supposed to take it
before!), We find out a lot that she has lied to us about what her blood
sugar readings were!! Or she tells us she checked it and then just
makes up a number, when she didnt really check it. Or she just taker
her pump off and leaves it off for hours!!! It seems that my whole
life is dedicated to checking on her and making sure she is not lying,
sneaking, etc… She is 15!!! and has been diabetic for 5 years now! You
would think by now she would be responsible enough to do what she needs
to do, at least somewhat!

The fact that she lies to us about her numbers and sometimes her shots
just infuriates me! I tell her time and time again that she is killing
herself by doing this! She just does not seem to get it, or does not
care.



In December she was hospitalized for a week and we almost lost her due
to a pump malfunction that happened when she was spending the night
somewhere. (of course!). And this really could have been avoiding I am
guessing if she would have been checking her sugar regularly during that
time, then she would have known that her pump was not giving her
insulin. UGH!!! Even almost dying did not phase her at all, she is
worse now than ever! And of course when we go to the doctor, he looks
at me like I am awful!! because she is not under good control… this
makes me feel horrible and helpless, because if he only knew, that is
all I get done!!! checking and dealing with her diabetes. I just feel
like I am at the end of my rope here, I sometimes cry at night because I
cannot believe the things she lies to me about, which sacrifices her
own health. Please Help! I am out of ideas!



Cybil

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Hi Cybil,

There are Psychiatrists who specialize in diabetes and the mental stress/issues that can cause someone to stop taking care of themselves. My sister went through the same issues with no taking care of herself...she had an A1c of over 14! Young adults like your daughter have so much going on in their lives that they want to concentrate on that and want the diabetes to magically disappear. I'm not assuming that's her thought process, but she is at a point where she needs to realize that what she does or does not do now will affect her for the rest of her life.

I would look into a diabetic therapist since you feel that she won't listen to you and hope that it works for her. It worked for my sister and I wish the best for your and your daughter.

We're all here for you and hope to hear positive updates :)

-Pat

Thanks Pat, It is always nice to hear from people who know what I am going through with this.  And I totally agree with your assessment, she is a teenager (still very immature to)  and does not think anything can hurt her,, and is preoccupied with teenage life in general.  I think counseling would be excellent for her and I think I will look into that.

 

Cybil

I agree w/ Pat. (A first?? JK Pat) I think you need outside help. When I was a teenager, I just "couldn't deal" with the D. Maybe a therapist could help separate what are HER jobs (test 4x a day, give you a daily update, or whatever), so it's not on YOU all the time.

I got my a1c's down from the 9's to the 7's when I was 16. My doctor told me she was out of ideas to help me and suggested another endo. I was the best idea for me. He was VERY aggressive with getting my sugars down to the point where he suggested aiming for 60-70 for a bit, and for the first time, I felt hopeful that I COULD have okay numbers. The better they got, the more motivated I became. Not saying that will work for her, but it definitely worked for me.

BTW, it annoys me that you have to feel guilty at her endo appts. I'm not saying the endo is doing it on purpose, but she's 15, not 5. Anyone who has ever dealt with a teenager should realize you can't have total control over her. Have you voiced your frustrations to the endo? Maybe s/he will have suggestions rather than subtly making faces at you?

Hang in there! A lot of us on here somehow, someway made it through our crazy teenage years and came out okay on the other side.

Cybil-

I can't imagine how scary and frustrating this must be for you. I just wanted to let you know that based on my own experience, and the experiences of other people I've heard from, hopefully she will get better with time. When I was 15, diabetes was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I was a lot better about it when I got to college because it hit me that my parents were no longer right there and I had to step up. But it really took me until mid-college to get really serious about it. I'm in much better control now.

Your daughter's situation sounds pretty serious, and I think Pat had a really good suggestion about the therapist. But hopefully she will really step up within the next few years as she gets older. Good luck!

It sucks being diabetic at all, but being 15 and trying to fit in on top of being diabetic has got to be hell. She's probably just going through a phase where like the other guy said, she really thinks she can imagine that she's not diabetic anymore and *poof* all will be better, everyone who is diabetic goes through that rebellion against the disease at some point.  Despite how bad this phase sucks and how much damage it can do to her body, as a mama you have to realize that she is now a teenager and you can't control her or her disease.  Teens don't take well to being told what to do, or trying to be controlled in anyway, so she might be rebelling against the control you have in her life by showing you that she is the only one with absolute control over her body. If this sounds like the case my best advice is not to tell her what to do, but lead her to making better choices. Be more lenient, giving a shot two hours after a meal is better than none. If she wants to eat an entire cake, let her, and teach her how to 'guess-timate' the carb count on what she has consumed so she can give a reasonable amount of insulin. If she wants to lie about her blood sugar readings, so be it, it's hard to test before and after every meal [... honestly I've gone a whole day without testing and when i finally got around to it, my blood sugar was normal. I was able to do that because I can feel in my body when I'm low or high, and I always give insulin after I eat even if I'm just guessing (some is always better than none).] She wants freedom, so show her how to get there.

Another thought that came into my mind as I as reading this that you may want to consider if her rebelling doesn't feel like a fit, is that she may have an eating disorder.  The pressure on young America to look 'perfect' is alot for teens to handle.  Being anorexic or bulimic is hard to cover up and hide from family, but having high blood sugar can seem like a mistake, from a missed shot or misjudged carb count, when maybe it is not.  You may remember when she was first diagnosed, she lost some weight, this is common.  When there is no insulin in the human blood stream the body can't figure out how to get energy from the food we eat, so instead the body starts breaking down fat and muscle cells to keep its basic energy supplied.  Many young girls have figured this out or at least realized that when their blood sugar runs high, they get skinny faster.  If this sounds like it could be true she really needs a therapist and quick, using diabetes to fuel an eating disorder is even more dangerous than anorexia or bulimia because of the long-term complications in creates within the body.

I really wish you the best of luck in this situation :)

 

Everyone had some really good ideas.  I was 17 was I was D with T1.  I know it was hard then.  Ging through the teenage years is hard and then having my mom always asking about my sugars and my shots just made it harder to deal with.  I would also suggest backing down from always talking about it.  As hard as it is, you have to let go and she has to step in and take care of herself.  One of the hardest lessons for any parent is to let go.  It is her problem and you can only give suggestions.  You may tell her about juvenation and let her talk with other D going through or have gone through what she is feeling.  You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.  Believe me the bull headed horse eventually drinks.  I was that bull head too at one time.  I would just suggest that you step back and let her learn on her own.  Life exeperiences are the best teachers.  Hang in there!  This too will pass!

There is now a group on Juventation for Teens with Type 1, as well as one for Parents of Teens with Type 1.  You and your daughter may want to check those out...

Hang in there...

Blessings

Mo

 

This is something that definitely needs a professional's input.  Regardless of why this is happening it is likely that both parties will need to change their outlook and behaviors, which is where an impartial experienced individual can be extremely helpful.

Someone mentioned that there is a teen group on here. I am new myself, so I don't know.  However, I have two teenage granddaughters and I know how they love to blog.  Get her to join this site.  She should be on here as well as you so she can see that she is not the only one enduring these problems.  She can also see how others deal with the many issues of being a teen with diabetes.  Good luck.

It's hard enough being a teenager most days....but I agree with many people....you may need some outside assistance.  I had an educator when I was in my teens who pretty much laid it on the line for me.....She hooked me up with some people that had complications and it really made me change my thinking.....Before that I pretty much rebelled and was convinced that nothing bad was going to happen to me.  I am beginning to deal with those bad choices now.  Best of luck!  I hope something opens her eyes to the seriousness of diabetes.....