I've let my self fall again, the state of mind im different in, the place I cant seem to win, an unbound state of depression... but this way of life, has become my obsession, is he trying to teach me a lesson? it seems that way, they cant even tell me why it happened, and I seem to only write, just when I need to vent, my free spirit leaks out of me, and I feel this feeling of contentment, with a side of resentment. They tell me its going to be alright, but you dont live with this, you dont toss and turn at night, dont tell me its not a struggle, its an everlasting war, That I will ALWAYS fight. Like a dependency on drugs, I need it to survive, they tell me normal people would die, if it reached there insides, does this make me an addict? These injections that im faced with? every time I eat, before I go to bed, with dreams of a normal life... poisoning my head. Nightmares is more like it, you tell me it goes away, Id like to see you try this, every day people repeating, eventually it will catch up with you, you cant take that in, Just one time I ask... Dont tell me what to do. because you think you know, but you have no clue, please just once, spend a day in my shoes, its hard as HELL to live like this, knowing that every single attempt, Is always hit and miss. Just one time Id like to hear, "im so proud of the way you handle yourself", God, I think itd bring a tear to my eye, it might even help. But it seems like we always want to see, the bad side of everything, but in reality, everyone is probably just as scared as me. I pray everynight for the motivation, to live as well as I can on a day to day basis. So I say this to all of you who know my struggle, of that day to day, mind wrenching battle, hang in there and just reach out for eachothers hands, we can always do this, I know we can.
Oh my gosh!! this made me cry!! this is an amazing poem! thank you so much for sharing this with us!! :)
Thanks for sharing your poem Andrew! I think we can ALL relate!!
Dude. Holy sh*t. Pools and pools of tears over here.