I was dx'd in April & quickly adjusted to my new life. I had a few ups & downs but for the main part, it came quite easily & everything was good. That lasted about a month & then I started feeling bad for myself & wanting my old life back. I wanted to be normal again & not have to worry about what I was eating or the stress of never having money (I'm a college student & uninsured) & with the money issue, I started only checking my sugars before meals to cut back on cost of the strips & so I kinda just started not even caring how foods affected me. I've learned when I'm high I get sleepy & when I'm low I'm shaky & sweating. I'm so down right now. I hateee having diabetes. I avoid eating as much as a I can just so I dont have to worry about testing & giving my shots. I don't know what to do with it anymore.
I know for me, it was really easy to keep a positive attitude at the beginning of each new change (for example, when I was first diagnosed, and then again when I went on my pump). But after the novelty wore off, I found myself grieving for the loss of what had been "normal". It took some time to get over this loss and adjust to a new "normal", and now I go through mostly positive times with a few down moments here and there. That is, until the next change pops up, when I'm sure I'll grieve again. Give yourself time to feel the loss of what life used to be like, but know that at some point you will have to move forward with what you have also. I hope there are some people on here who can speak to the cost issue - perhaps there is a way to get help with the $ issue. I do know that it is much harder for me to stay positive and keep out of the depression zone when my numbers are high, so that is part of my motivation to test often. Hang in there, and know that there are people here who understand and want to help.
Diabetes is a LOT - and it's a lot over a long period of time. In a way, it's almost its own special brand of water-torture. Cheering ya' up, yet? Okay- so that is a big part of the bad news but it is also a bit of the good news. You do not make or break this disease in bad week or a good week - or a bad month or a good month. There is a lot of time to work things out. I totally agree with Dana that it makes sense to take the time to feel what you're feeling and process it. I know for me it is helpful to set an "up date" - when I'm in a funk and need the time - just figuring that - next Monday, after lunch - I'll start back to testing regularly and make sure my diet's in order.
That's me and my take - beyond that, I will offer this - be as patient with yourself on this as you would be for one of your friends going through this big a change. You've done a lot of the tough stuff and stayed on top of it so you know what you're capable of and you are reaching out when you need assistance which means you are well aware of where you are and what you need. I think you're set up to do great. I wish there was a magic key or special pill but in this case - it looks to me like you're on the right track and I am proud of you for reaching out and paying attention to what you need.
Be well, keep us posted and if there is anything we can do - definitely let us know.
It gets easier with time, I promise.
I hope that things get easier for you over time. It took me a good bit to get used to the idea when I was first diagnosed as a teenager many years ago as well. It was always why me? I didn't take good care of myself at the time either honestly I just didn't care. When I decided to start a family is when my attitude towards diabetes changed because I knew that in order to be around to watch my children grow up I would need to gain control of my disease. Hang in there and best of luck to you! Try to check out the Eli Lily company on the web, 4 or 5 years ago I had lost my insurance coverage and they helped me out with free insulin for a year and may even have test strips available also.
It is perfectly normal to feel down, especially when you're newly diagnosed. I was diagnosed in my last semester in college, and I did really great the first few months I had it. I cried, I got over it, and I just focused on getting my glucose levels under control and getting back to normal. Then, the reality of it really set in for me. I am NEVER going to have the same kind of freedom I had before. It really sucks sometimes, but it's unavoidable. You just have to learn to deal with it. And it sounds like you did really good so far. I swear it gets easier with time (not easy, but easier). And the better you take care of yourself, the better you will start to feel.
I have my ups and downs, and I get upset with myself when I don't try hard enough to maintain good control. But I am also a perfectionist, so the smallest slip-up can really get me down. I think knowing/talking with other people who are going through the same thing as you really helps a lot. Juvenation helps :-)
As far as money goes, is there some sort of insurance your school offers? I think most schools offer health insurance for their students, so you might want to check with your school's admissions office to see what kind of coverage you can get.
I know how you feel..... Sometimes I wish I could start my whole life over not that other things haven't been horrible in my life but I would do things differently than I have been doing with diabetes. I feel I am a lot more emotional. It is perfectly normal to be down....
I'm sorry to hear you feel un motivated. I'm sure we all feel that way sometimes. If on shots, only checking before meals is totally cool. That's what I do. I also test before driving and exercising though. But, if you do take care of your self and get your BS going better, you'll feel better. Right now if you're not managing well you probably don't fell as well and that makes you care less. Could be a vicious cycle.
Maybe do like the alcoholic thing, just take it one shot/test at a time. Then relax until the next one. Then it might not feel so overwhelming.
And as my father used to say, maybe when this big ole world turns around a few more times you might feel better. Keep your chin up! It'll get better.
Everyone gets unmotivated sometimes. I've done this my whole life, and there are times i just want to take all of my supplies and put them in a fire pit and forget about it! There are times i cry, it's ok, it sucks! For the money thing, I know Wisconsin has a state funded health care program that my cousin is on. You could see if your state has something similar. Also, Walmart has strips that are cheaper. They aren't one touch or anything, but if I remember right they were about half the price of the ones at the pharmacy. (they aren't prescription they were just sitting on a shelf in a box by other diabetes supplies for type 2's mostly) Good Luck! Feel better! =)