Hello. I just found this site by chance while scrolling through a Diabetic Support page on Instagram.
I am 21 years old, I was diagnosed at age 11 as a T1D. It will be 10 years ago in June, and I still feel as sad and hopelessly lost as I did when I was diagnosed. I am awful at managing my diabetes. I hate saying it out loud because every time I do I don’t get support, I get panic (which is understandable) and it makes me feel worse, so I shut down. Recently though its gotten to a point where I feel hopeless. My blood sugars are dipping and spiking, I’ll go to bed at 245mg/dl and wake up at 52mg/dl. I’ll have a 80g breakfast and high glucose and an hour later be 60mg/dl. I have completely lost my appetite, and have almost no energy. I’ve adjusted my sliding scale, and my Lantus Solostar. Nothing. It’s never been this bad. Usually I am high because I neglect my health, and I can correct that and drink some water and be fine. Now I am up and down, there’s no pattern to any of it.
I am the only diabetic I know. I am on Insulin pens and the Libre sensor. I have Medical Assistance (U-Care in MN), and getting them to pay for things is like pulling teeth. Even if I could get them to, my blood sugars are all over. They won’t allow me to get a pump because I am so bad with managing it. I know someday its going to kill me. But I don’t know how to make it apart of my life. I never learned how, and never found support.
I get carb counting, insulin, correction. But doing it, and finding the will power to do it each day, that I don’t have. And so desperately need.
I am a bad diabetic. I know this. I need help. I need support. Where do I start?