Left Out

Has  anyone ever been left out of anything because of d ? It was a worry I had when my daughter first got Type 1.Thankfully she was always included.Maybe because of good parents and close friends,and she was old enough to do do d her own d care..

My son can be alone with 3 people: Myself, my husband, and my mom. Nobody else will be alone with him because they don't want to check his sugar or give him insulin. I consider this being left out. I understand that it's a lot of responsibilty and people are afraid of messing up, so I don't really hold it against them. It breaks my heart, though. I remember spending weekends at my aunt and uncle's and at my grandparents' houses often as a child. Brandan will not have that opportunity until he can manage his own care. He has already asked his aunt and uncle if he can go with them a few times and the answer is always no. One day I will have to explain why. It hurts.

overall I have not been left out from anything with family or close friends EXCEPT when I was very little like 6-7.. there were some parents that were scared I was going to pass out at their house so i didnt go to their houses anymore. it was only one or two friends parents but it really scarred me big time and made me feel ashamed that I had D. its amazing how these little things efefct a child so much.

Never really felt left out here... (:  Fortunately I missed a having to deal with it through elementary school and middle and high school... I think it's about educating the people around you so that they're not afraid or ignorant about type 1 diabetes...  With educated people around you they won't feel nervous about including you in activities...

My mom wouldnt let me do anything when I was little, no going to peoples houses, slumber parties, stay over anywhere but my own home. I feel like I missed out on fun girl stuff when I was little. My mom also came on every single school trip to take care of me. She was a stay at home mom so she could but she was always with me. I never got to goof off with my friends.

Since we are new to this, we haven't had a lot of experiences with it.  Lia has been asked to go over to a friend's house, but it was when she was first diagnosed, so we invited her friend to our house first.  We want to let her participate in as much as possible, but she won't go to sleep overs unless the parents are willing to learn how to take care of her.  Plus, I am doing night time checks of her blood, so I would need to do that.  At school, we are required to accompany her on the field trips from now on because of the 504 she is on.  But that is okay, we usually go anyway.  She is only in 3rd grade, so we have a way to go before she feels embarrassed about us being around her.

As a mom, I can understand another mom wanting to be around her daughter for fear that something might happen to her.  Right now, I am nervous all day while I am at work and she is at school, but that is part of life.

I'm sorry that anyone left any you out of activities because of being a Type 1. I hope from now on no one is left out.

I was never prohibited from going to my friend's houses or participating in any kind of activities whether it be school related or otherwise but I was kind of left out when it came to birthday parties and holiday parties.  When I was first diagnosed I was on a meal plan and could only eat at certain times and eat a certain amount of food.  Not cool for a chubby kid mind you.  Sometimes the festivities would take place long before my designated meal time so I would have chillax on the sidelines and just watch because "I couldn't have that now".  Going out to eat was also a fun time for me when the server came by asking about dessert and my stepmother felt the need to say "Oh he can't have dessert."  Again, as a chubby kid dessert was sort of a highlight for me.

i wasn't allowed on a basketball team because i had D apparently i was a "liability" I felt very mad!

aside from occassionally having to wait for a snack (we try to give extra insulin to cover the snack whenever possible), our son has not yet to be left out of anything due to his diabetes though. As a mom, I make sure to work things out so he can participate. since he is only 5, i do accompany him to birthday parties, etc and if they are having a special snack at school i go and give him extra insulin. (I think if it would have been me as a child i would have had to miss out, but I think it is worth the extra time/effort to make sure ezekiel doesn't have to.

I also have 2 friends that know how to give him insulin, etc. and we have a teenage babysitter that can do the same. We have also let him play at another friends inbetween meal times, leaving instructions on what to do if he feels low and making sure we are available by phone the whole time. I know the time is coming when he will want to have sleep overs and he may have to wait till his older and able to manage more of his diabetes on his own for this (unless it is at someone's house who is familiar with his management- my 2 friends both have children near his age).

I will always do whatever i can to prevent him from being left out.

I missed out on a few sleepovers when I was little because of lows and such, and I could never eat the food for class birthday celebrations when I was in elementary school because of my wonderful fixed-carb diet.  I remember in 5th grade when my class went to a sleepaway camp in Rhode Island for a week and we played this awesome game called Predator-Prey.  I missed 40 minutes of it because I was slightly low and my teacher wouldn't let me play until my blood sugar came back up. 

Let me add the reason meme started this topic:

Our neighbors assumed that Brandan couldn't have cake and icecream so they didn't invite him to his friend's birthday party. I'm afraid this isn't going to be the last time something like that happens.

[quote user="Trish"]

Let me add the reason meme started this topic:

Our neighbors assumed that Brandan couldn't have cake and icecream so they didn't invite him to his friend's birthday party. I'm afraid this isn't going to be the last time something like that happens.

[/quote]

That's sad for your son. Sorry! Did you figure it out after it was too late or could you let them know in time he could go?

I think the lesson for all of us parents is not to make assumptions about other kids. Recently, a parent was complaining to me that no one invites her son to playdates b/c he has (high functioning) autism, so they assume he wouldn't want to go. This means he misses out on opportunities to practice his social skills.

I think all of us touched by T1 have the responsibility to *try* to educate those around us (at least those who will listen) about T1 and maybe the information will spread...

Sarah,

I knew the boy's birthday was coming up so when they (mom, grandma, both kids) were outside my house I asked when exactly his birthday is. The response I got was, "His birthday was (forgot the date) but we're having the party the first weekend in Feb. We would have invited Brandan, but we didn't want him to feel left out when the other kids eat cake and icecream." I first got defensive, said "So you decided it would be best to leave him out altogether? I'm I supposed to make him miss all the joys of childhood to avoid a little sugar?" I know it was a little rude, but then I explained that he could have cake and icecream. Maybe they think the invitation was implied at this point, but we haven't been officially invited. They've been back over a few times so I guess they're not angry with me, but they haven't mentioned the party again.

Trish, I would have snapped at them too!

I feel very bad for all of you   especially his Aunt and Uncle  they are missing out on time with him.  I would suggest taking them to a Doctors appt with you or everyone in your sons life to understand what needs to happen and how to do what needs to be done.  I am sure they are nervous but if they truly love him and what to spend time with a great kid they will take the time and make the effort.

He is at the age where he can tell what is going on with him, I would imagine  and they need practice.  I am sure that is all  I was nine when I was diagnosed. 

I wish you all the best.  I believe this is the course of action to take.  I hope the relatives want this for his sake.  they will all be better off for it.

Angela, thanks for the kind thoughts, but sadly they aren't willing. I've even assured them that I wouldn't hold anything against them because I don't even get it right all the time. Maybe one day......

I was left out of a basketball team too, very frustrating for a teenager (at the time), and I was told to stay back from a school trip when the nurse was unable to go with.. hmm, seems like the only time I was left behind was in school!

In high school i was part of a club that would take a trip down south by train and would do volunteer work there- when it came time for the trip they wouldnt let me go because the teacher leading it "didnt feel comfortable"- i was so pissed- i quit the club because of it.

How can schools do that ? That sounds so wrong to me..That could make anyone feel bad,Where are the rights for anyone if you are a student at any age ?

I was super lucky, not long after i was diagnosed i got invited to go out camping with a friend and her family. I wasn't taking my own shots then but her dad stepped up and said that he would give all the shots and make sure i tested my sugar! super luckly! i remember that kindness better then te rest of the trip!