Counting carbs has just become one more aspect of our family's healthy eating. Because our son is on Humalog to "cover" each of his meals, and has four different carb/insulin ratios throughout the day, the more accurately I count carbs, the better BS control we have. But, we've been at this since 5/13/09, so we've had time to incorporate William's T1 care into our everyday routine.
For the first month or so after dx, everything is just overwhelming. There is so much information, so much to learn, and you feel like your child's survival is completely dependent on YOU and only you. But, it takes time for the BS to start easing down, time for the endo team to refine the numbers to keep good control, and time for mom to become comfortable and fluent in BS management. The most "dangerous" part of on-set is past, and it takes long stretches of really bad BS control for permanent damage to occur, so you've got TIME to learn and perfect your BS management skills. All new-onset caretakers need to know that they have TIME to learn this and get better at it.
As momo said, the toughest part is feeling like you are the ONLY one who can care for your child. I was blessed with a circle of friends who insisted I teach them how to care for our son in case they needed to. They set up a time to come to my house so I could sit down and walk them through the basics of William's care, "just in case". It was a huge relief to me, knowing I could leave William with someone else if I had to. It was six months before I was able to leave him overnight with his aunt, but knowing we can do that allows my husband and I to have a date night now and then...even if we just have supper together and go to bed for a long, restful night of sleep. Mom, the best thing you can do for your daughter right now is to gently insist on being a partner in your grandchild's care, and having regular "dates" with your grandchild when you are in charge of BS management. Give your daughter a break as often as you can manage, so she has time to care for herself and process all of the emotional part of what she's dealing with. She needs to be strong to care for your grandchild, and you can support her in that.