Read this article for your 12-year-old. I was fine with my diabetes as a kid, but was a mess through my teen years. Think that's pretty typical. Have the "I'm not your enemy" talk and ask for ways that you can help with diabetes management. Try not to be overly critical... it's impossible to have perfect blood sugars all the time. But it's still cool to create rules like, if your blood sugar is super low or high, you can't spend the night at your friends. Later, I think it's okay to ask you child to test blood sugar in front of you (make sure they're not just pulling up an old test result from the memory) before getting the car keys.