My Son was diagnosed in January

Hi there, my 9 year old son was diagnosed in January. He really has adjusted very well and I am so proud of him!
We are having issues lately with him not being honest about either sneaking food or not eating all of the food we carb counted for.
My husband gets super frustrated when I try and tell him that these are normal behaviors and we just need to remind my son how important it is to be honest. He feels like there should be consequences for lying (i.e. no ipad, etc). I don’t agree.
Can anyone else speak to this? Any positive suggestions would be very appreciated :slight_smile:

Ouch. I (not as a parent, but a T1D), would say that he will learn all about consequences as the days, months, years happen (this is what “low” feels like; see how you feel sluggish and nauseous when your sugar is “high”).

T1D is going to feel like a “punishment” anyway.

Just emphasize that it’s important to try to maintain a relatively normal blood sugar. And that truth is helpful in that regard. When it comes down to it, there are going to be wide fluctuations in blood glucose regardless (even if he told the truth 100% of the time).
Do the best you can and remind him that he will ultimately have to be responsible for his decisions. Then let go (as much as possible).

My 2 cents.

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hi @trick5et Emily, welcome to Type One Nation. I was 12 when I was diagnosed, and I have a son and he’s the same age so I speak 9 year old boy.

I would ask that both you and your husband try to remember being 9 and how scary the world could be. Also that you guys were able to solve any and all problems in his life right up to this point. Up to now, there was confidence you guys could “fix anything”, and he has to come to a realization that you are not capable of fixing this. This is a time of crisis because he sees others eating without a shot, and so yes I truly believe that in his head, he will begin to feel singled out and punished for something he did.

So here’s the deal, his body is consuming energy at an enormous rate. His craving for carbohydrates is very high - they taste great to him. Now he has to get a needle shoved in his arm as a punishment. I’d be shocked if he wasn’t eating carbs and not telling you.

Regarding frustration. Look, a high blood sugar is not going to kill him. with 6 months experience, and depending on how long his honeymoon was, you should be getting the idea that perfect blood sugar control is not just impractical, it’s darn near impossible. If you see a 300 mg/dl, it is not that he’s bad, or you are a bad parent, it means it’s time for a correction shot (or bolus with a pump). and a 40 mg/dl means some skittles… nothing more than that… try to separate “lying” from a life paradigm change ( a 9 year old will have trouble with the concept of a lifelong chronic disease ) and maybe not doing your homework. I think that they are different.

Believe me those highs can stink, and the lows are worse, he’ll come to the conclusion if he doesn’t want to feel like crap, he has got to try to hit that 70-120 window, as tough as it might be.

not to push technology, but a pump takes away that “oh… you want a cookie, but first I have to torture you with a metal needle” deal . because the infusion set is already in there so a cookie means pushing a few buttons. if he’ll try the tech that’s one worth looking at.

after 27 years of shots, I didn’t have to shoot myself that first morning on a pump, I just had to tell it how much cereal I was eating, and it was a little slice of heaven for me.

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Hi Emily @trick5et, I second what @Joe has written and strongly support not infusing your son with “guilt” when he sneaks food, but rather attempt to help him see the larger picture. You can not always tell him he will feel lousy because the food will raise his BGL to the point where he will feel sick - consider also that his body’s natural instinct told him to eat because his BGL was dropping and needed sugar.

In addition to using a pump to eliminate needle pokes [I used needle and syringe for 47 years before I got my first pump] you may also want to look at an “insulin port” which is inserted once every three days and allows many doses of insulin. The link below is an assessment of the iPort posted by the American Diabetes Association [diabetes.org] :slight_smile:http://spectrum.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/1/30

Thanks for responding. I am very much in agreement with you but my husband feels lying is lying… :confused:
I am hoping that with more learning he will realize just how tough this is for our son and that we need to support him through this process which is always changing…
Also, we are starting the classes to hopefully get him a pump! YAY!!!

Hi - my son is 12 and will “forget” to check in before eating. We are 5 years in now and he does understand the risks. He has a Dexcom so we are able to catch these ‘oversights’ a bit sooner. I highly recommend you look into a cgm to compliment the pump. Good luck !

Hi Emily,
Have you spoken to your doctor about giving your son his insulin directly after he eats, just incase he is not hungry enough to finish all of his food? Also, if he is sneaking food then he is hungry and you should be able to just give him a shot of the short acting insulin. Your poor boy shouldn’t feel like he has to lie about his food intake. Whatever you and your husband do, DO NOT punish him for anything to do with his diabetes. This is tough to live with, totally manageable, but tough. This will have serious consequences in the long run and like the short run so please be careful how you treat this issue. This is a big learning curve for everyone involved and this is just part of it. Communication, honesty and understanding. Move forward together, work through this together and on the same side. Be sure your husband is ‘looking out your son’s window’. I was diagnosed at 5 years of age and have had diabetes for 37 years. Also, stress and anxiety will cause fluctuation in BG levels so it will not be helpful if your son is getting into trouble for this nor would it be helpful for him to see any sort of tension between you and your husband. Hope this is helpful. You guys will get through this just fine :slight_smile:
Suz

Hi Emily Good luck to you and your family! As most of the above comments reflect. Kids are kids, You will not always get a straight answer! Just be careful, you will want your son to be able to speak with you honestly so the more you or your husband overreact the less honest he will be. I’ve been a type 1 since I was 11 and I still can’t really discuss diabetes related issues with my mother… (43 years and counting) There is a steep learning curve, so give him all of the information and support you can. I would also recommend having him meet some other similar aged diabetics n a social setting if possible. I think the thing that made me take responsibility and control was the first time i went to a diabetic summer camp for a week or two without my parents. With that I met kids that had various levels of experience and it helped me put things into perspective.

That’s great news about the pump Emily! I agree with Mike, Diabetic camp would be awesome for your son. I will be a Diabetic camp counsellor this summer where I live and it is such a good experience.
As for your husband, with all due respect (and I mean that), perhaps he should seek out counselling or talk to some parents of diabetics. There is a reason your son is lying - not having enough of an understanding as to what is happening and maybe fear (which likely stems from Dad). It’s a viscious cycle that he is creating. Good. luck with this.

Hey, I’m ViviAnn I am 13. I use to be like that!!! For me I felt upset. I just wanted to be normal. I use to eat things and not take insulin for it, my parents would ask me and I would lie about it. Try and be patient with him. It’s very hard I have had T1D for 2 years. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask. Click on the flag under my message and click personal message.