hi @forestfern Amy, burnout is a tough thing to understand. The way I see it is something about that testing is making you freeze up, as if you don’t know or don’t want to do what to do next. Do you have fear of lows? The other clue is reiterating you don’t want diabetes anymore - are you thinking you don’t have diabetes if you are not taking shots?
yea forever is a sucky way to look at it. I learned a few things about “just for today” see I can’t change anything about yesterday… and I don’t know what the heck tomorrow will be, so I got today. and just for today I can do the best job I can… Looking past that, sometimes, can make you numb and frozen.
I learned to cope by working on my self esteem. I freaking hated myself for getting this disease. I hated my friends because they don’t have it, and I hated my parents because they could always fix everything for me and this thing they could not fix. now you were 2 so maybe that last one is not for you… but you get the idea. Now be completely honest this one is important: What’s your very first reaction when you look at yourself in a mirror?
truth is that t1 is not a punishment. It’s not about something I did or something I didn’t do. I can’t decide when to get better, I can only decide when I am going to do something about it.
I didn’t cope with this disease by “beating it” I cope with it by owning it, I have diabetes and all this crap is just what I gotta do to feel good… it’s my boat anchor and I have to drag it around… there are other people with other boat anchors too but this one is mine, and I am completely worth the effort to take care of myself and to be happy…