On The Verge of a Breakdown

I really can't handle diabetes this and diabetes that anymore. My numbers are always high, and I'm constantly irritable because of it. I have a stressful home situation with family not getting along, and I'm beginning to experience pain in my joints and feet. I take my shots, and they really hurt. Some of the shots bleed out and I already know the day's about to get worse because of it. I cry sometimes but it's like no one cares. I wish I were little so I could carry my Rufus around with me instead of leaving him at home. I wish I could take my dog with me, because animals always seem to be able to help, but no one lets them in stores so that's out of the question. My friends understand the diagnostics and calculation part of diabetes, but don't understand the emotional side of it. Shot after shot, i can't take it anymore. I want the pump but as close as I am, I feel like I'll never get there. My A1C is 9.5%. The best it's been in the 3 years I've had diabetes. I don't know what to do anymore. I need motivation. I have an obsession with food, I am 116lbs, which is the most I've ever weighed. I feel so alone in this crap, but Psychiatrists cost money, and my dad has too big an ego to admit I might need one. If anyone has advice I can use, please help me out, I really need it. Thanks to you all. 

 

-A very irritated, upset 16 year old, Nicole