I'm new to the site....and new to diabetes...so not sure where to post what. But wanted to get "it" "out there".
Our son, William, who will be 8 on Friday, was diagnosed T1 just last month while we were on vacation in Orlando, FL. Overall, considering the circumstances under which he was diagnosed, we've really had an excellent "first month". His numbers have been slowly pulling into the "normal" range, and I've been able to pinpoint the reasons behind each high. We're happy with the management plan his ped endo (loooove you, Dr. A!) has put him on, and he's back up to this "fighing weight" after a drop of several pounds during onset. But, since his diagnosis, my biggest fear has been lows. It's what keeps me from sleeping at night, and the reason I let him sleep with me anytime he asks; I know I'll waken and be able to treat him if he bottoms out in the middle of the night. I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the knarly needle-n-tablet Glucagon-in-a-red-emergency-kit thing that's sitting in William's Camy Kit that's got me rattled (dear God, what if I actually have to USE that thing?!?).
Anyway, today he had his first low. Less than 2 hours after breakfast, he was 55 and freaking out. Yeah, I've figured out what contributed to the low, and figured out how we're going to modify our routine to reduce the chances of another low. And, yeah, I know that 55 is not "that" low. But, William has an LD with sensory processing issues (CAPD) that tends to make tolerating physical discomfort...well, darn-near intollerable. Add to that an inability to process abstract concepts (BS that can't be seen or physically grasped, but effects my body, mind and emotions) and temporal projection (this is a temporary situation which will pass soon), and you get an idea of what it's like to "handle" William when he is in the middle of a crisis, no matter how mild.
So, after a morning of unusual grumpiness and lethargy he's getting a little out of hand. I test his BS (which is always more distressing when he's upset), see he's at 55, and grab a juice box. He's sitting on the kitchen floor wailing "I don't want to go to the hospital" and "I don't want to die", while I'm trying to get the juice into him (at the same time I've got three other kids wandering into the kitchen asking "what's going on?"). I try explaining to William that we have to wait 15 minutes to test again before I can give him solid food, at which point he begins wailing "I'm starving!!!! I don't want to die!!!!". Goodness. I grab a bag of goldfish and tell him to down them. Yeah, I know that's not proper protocol, but what do you do?
After five minutes, he begins to settle down. By the 15-minunte mark, he's got a grip on himself and is sitting down to a nice plate of carbs for lunch after a dose of Humalog. (Rufus got a dose of Humlalog, too). Half-hour later, he's fine and dandy. I, on the other hand, need a glass of wine.
Will there ever come a time when handling lows will be easier for him? Easier for me? Will there ever come a time when this does not tear my heart out? When I don't feel I am to blame for each hiccup in his numbers? When I feel like we can leave the house, go on an outing, take the boat out on the lake, go to a birthday party, have a sleep-over with friends, without worrying about the lows? Will this ever become second nature for us both?
Intellectually, I know the answer is "YES!". I know we're both going to "get" it, and William will be a happy, healthy, sucessful person, and everything's going to be alright. Convicining my heart...well, that's another thing entirely.
Thanks for listening...
Who will get over it soon, and continue marching forward...