So, I don't like parties, and I never have. But when my friends are partying, I want to hang out with them. I used to drink with them and then i'd have an okay time, instead of just being annoyed that everyone was loud and stupid, but then I was diagnosed.
Tonight my house is having a party, and they're loud and annoying and I want to hang out, but there are so many people and they are all overwhelming, and i've considered drinking, but my BS has been really low for the last two days, so i'm nervous that if i get drunk it'll go low and i won't think to test cuz i'll be drunk. I also don't know who I can ask to keep an eye on me, cuz most everyone is drunk, and that's not anyone's responsibility.
It's so frustrating to have to change the way I do everything! Being 19 was hard enough (actually I was 18...) when I wasn't worrying about my sugar, and it's so hard to feel like I have so little support around me. No one understands diabetes, and my friends think that I'm trying to lose weight and that I am too obsessed with counting carbs, but I'm actually just trying to be alive! I wish I could ask someone to remind me to test without having to explain the feedback mechanisms of glucagon and how my liver plays a role, and what to do if I seem out of it (and not just drunk...) because I'd like to drink. But really, i'd rather be healthy.
Thanks for being here to rant to.