Question from a highly confused youth

Do you ever feel like people just don't get it? A wave of loneliness hit me hust he other day and I felt like my parents and my friends just didn't get it. They get upset with me everytime I forget to test once, but remember ten minutes later, or when my blood sugar is high. I'm only a kid for goodness sake! I didn't ask for all this stress! I feel like they expect me to act like a grown up, but I'm not a grown up, I'm barely a teenager! I've had to act like a grown up since I was eight and I can't stand being different than everyone else.

So after that long rant on injustice, my question is...

Do you ever feel like everyone expects you to just grow up to fast?

Becasuse I think fourteen is a bit young to be a grown up.

Yes....I used to.  Now I'm thankful I did.

This may sound a bit ignorant, but how so?

By the way, I like your Signature!

I think having to be responsible helped me become an adult.  many people around me are having a hard time transitioning from being a kid to being an adult.  I have a job, pay my bills, know I can't go into debt, and realize that I have to budget to make medical bill payments and save in case of an emergency. I know how to cook, and i eat 3 meals a day (unlike many people my age).  I'm able to have a regular daily routine that doesn't get in the way of my personal life. I'm really not having a problem at all, except totally missing my parents reminding me to keep on it.  I've never been more thankful for them in my life.  I'm sure someday you'll feel the same way.


One thing that helped me was reminding my parents that it's a good thing I know my blood sugar is high, because knowledge of a high mean you can take insulin to change it.  Then, when you go to the doc they can see if there's a trend in your highs.


Another thing that helped, that was kind of embarrassing at first, was going to counseling.  Although I didn't want to be there, I realized complaining to someone about my frustrations helped me be more patient with the people who didn't understand.  It gave me the patience to explain how i felt and why i felt that way instead of being so mad.


At the same time, I still have days where i want to give up on everyone.  I think we all do.  Don't give up.  You know that things go up and down.  Since they're down now, they will be back up soon :)


I think that most kids with D feel the same way,  D forces you to grow up a lot faster than most other kids.  No, it's not fair.  It's not fair at all.  But that's kind of the way it works, unfortunately.

People don't get it.  You can't, unless you live it.  As much as your parents and friends love and care for you, they can't understand how you feel.  But people here can.  I've been feeling lonely and stressed to lately (and I'm an adult, at least in theory) but chatting with people here on Juve has helped me feel less alone.  Here, you're not different.  We're all in this together!  If your sugar is high, we know what that feels like.

Parents are tricky, because they love you and want you to take care of yourself as much as possible.  I used to argue with my mom about expectations.  Maybe you could talk to your parents about how you feel?  Or, my mom and I used to write notes back and forth.  We were both able to be honest without winding up in a screaming match.

Unfortunattely, there's no roadmap or guidebook for this.   None of us asks for this--all we can do it take it one day at a time.  Heck, sometimes it's one finger-stick at a time. 

But no matter how you feel, you are NOT alone.

I understand your feelings - I was angry at my parents for expecting me to be really independent at a young age and seemingly (I can't say how they feel) not worried when it seems like all other parents of children with diabetes spend a lot of time thinking about diabetes.  Still, I've found the independence really motivating because I have to be the one to take care of myself most of the time.  Actually, when my parents are more involved I've found that my control is worse because I think about diabetes less.

Even if you feel isolated within your family and friends, we are here to hear you out whenever you feel like ranting to people with similar experiences.  Remember that your parents want what they think is best for you.  I'm sure they want you to be able to manage diabetes on your own, but definitely talk to them if you can about having more support from them.  

JUVENATION IS HERE FOR YOU when you need it!  

I don't think you are highly confused!  I think you know exactly what is going on!  You have a HUGE responsibility to bear, and it looks like you are doing it mostly on your own.  I applaud the fact that you are doing your best!  You are checking your sugar, that in itself is a huge victory!  Every number is a victory. 

Anyone would be upset if they were constantly scrutenized for something they spend their days and nights trying to control.  Do your best.  You can't do better than the best.  Talk to your mom.  Even though she is on your case, she loves you...she thinks she is helping by lecturing you.  Explain you need support and understanding.  You are not alone...I think there is a forum on here for teenagers only.  Check it out!  But in the meantime...we understand.  I am a mother of three type 1's.  And I "get it."  You have been asked to grow up too fast.  All children who are diagnosed are in the same boat.  It isn't fair.  ((HUGS)) to you!  You can do this! 

You're right body but don't forget it they just wanna your health is alrgith. when i noticed that i am diabetic i was eleven years old and if i didn't give attention this disease now i wouldn't be able to do what i want,wherever i want to go,what i want to drink. Now they are trusting me because i have a lot of exprience and i'm tryng to them not stress about it. sometimes i 'm feel like i'm the oldest person in this world and i wanna go crazy,i wanna behave like seven years old child,i wanna eat  choclate endlessly. Don't ask yourself why me!! that's ridiculous i know but just don't ask it yourself or you'll getting getting worse..

sometimes i cry i ignore it but i do it secretly. Nobody knows what i'm thinking and how i'm suffuring from high sugar level. please be careful and don't forget you are learning administration and these dutys responsibilty's will make you succesfull about everywhere in your life,business,people relationships.. Actually we are the one more step ahead beside normal people. Best wishes;)

Thank you all so much for your support! It's really nice to know that there are others who are like me!

I have to echo Sonja's sentiments about counseling. It's great to just be able to get everything out on the table and be as frank as you want. It helps give perspective on where things are in life and it acts as a good avenue to find or develop coping mechanisms for the crap that comes up in life.

I dont think its so much we expect our kids to be adults as we expect responsibility from them so by the time they are adults we are sure they have the ability to take care for themselves.  At least that is how I see it for my daughter.

[quote user="Jessica "]

I dont think its so much we expect our kids to be adults as we expect responsibility from them so by the time they are adults we are sure they have the ability to take care for themselves.  At least that is how I see it for my daughter.


You hit the nail on the head Jessica. We know we can take care of our kids while they're with us at home, but they won't be home forever and absolutely must learn to take good care of themselves.


Hell, I think any age is too early for the amount of growing up D calls for....  And I picture how I was at 14 and am so glad I didn't get D until much later, because I could not have handled it properly back then.

I think what a lot of people don't get about D is that there's no way to do this perfectly.  You're going to miss a test on occasion, you're going to have mystery highs or mystery lows, and you will occasionally do something that's "not the best choice" for your blood sugar because it is the "best choice" for your sanity.

I think it's probably not too tough to convince friends of this, but family?  That must be a tough one.  They're so emotionally invested in your wellbeing that they probably nearly panic everytime something unhealthy pops up.  I suspect a lot of parents have a nearly uncontrollable urge to "protect" every time their child's disease rears its head.  I was diagnosed at 30, and my mother (who is also a nurse) confessed that she felt deep down that she should bring me home, take care of me, and make sure my blood sugar was always OK...  Her 30 year old child!  She had to struggle to let me manage my own diabetes.  Those are some strong instincts we have to battle against, as their children.  I think part of the secret is to let them have some of what they "need."  Like I told my mom I'd really appreciate her coming to my appointments with me for about the first month to help me understand this stuff...  But I drew lines in the sand when I made management decisions that she tried to talk me out of.  It's harder to draw lines in the sand with your parents when you're 14, but maybe you can express which areas of management you feel really confident in doing without their "help," and which areas might require some support from them.  It may at least focus their attention in a direction that works better for you.

I got yelled at once for forgetting to test and dose my daughter. I was scolded to take it seriously. Guess who forgot to test and dose her two days later??;)

Guess who got told to "take it seriously;)"?

We all screw up. I do more than my wife though. I am not home as much so when I get there I am always behind on what is happening.I try not to stress over at much as she does. I have my own stresses that no one can help me with.






Asking my parents to let me do some things on my own is a great idea! I'll definetly try that!

And Terry, so sound alot like my dad! He has type two, though I'm type one (I can think of four people off the top of my head on my dad's side with D, some of which have type one while others have two, so I guess it runs in our family.)

Although I end up lecturing my dad half the time. He's on pills, as opposed to insulin and I always scold him for not testing more!

Then I realize how weird it is that I'm giving a lecture to my parent and I realize I sound Like my mother! XD