My daughter is 15 and is really struggling. She has had a very hard time managing and constantly saying she hates diabetes and doesn’t want to do it anymore. Obviously quitting isn’t an option. Her friends are all very helpful and she’s popular and she has a good head on her shoulders but she is the only diabetic she knows. We need some friends and some support. She will be attending camp this summer so I hope it will help. Any advice or suggestions. She breaks my heart.
@Hailey0715 hi Hailey
i’m 52. I’ve had t1 for 39 years. there are days I wake up and want to quit. there hasn’t been a conscious moment since 1979 where I didn’t hate diabetes. what I am trying to say is that it’s unlikely that she’ll ever be completely over it.
if she’s mad let her be mad. it’s ok. in fact, I am glad she’s expressing it and hasn’t “gone underground” with her feelings. there are many strategies to help: therapy, karate, etc. to work through the pain and frustration without letting it destroy her life. the only scary thing I can think of is if she was burying these feelings and no longer acknowledging them.
the camp sounds like a great idea. a pain shared is half the pain. peers in the same situation should be an awakening for her. When I shut down it was with the feeling that I was alone in the world. When you see others dealing with it, it can be much different than a well-meaning parent that is repeating “it is going to be OK”.
on the JDRF main web site there may be local chapters near where you live. These chapters are always running fund raisers and there are always peers and parents at fund raisers. The other thing that can happen is she can go from “victim” to “champion”. in all my dealings with depression, even if you do the smallest positive thing, it can be very helpful.
this web site can also be helpful as there are teens here that are awesome and very vocal and willing to share their experiences. would she take a look?
My son is 13 and he went through a burnout phase… it was heartbreaking too…childrens hospital of Pittsburgh offered teen support group which he attended for 6 wks… …it was helpful…i have a booklet that JDRF sent me in regards to parenting advice during teen years…its helpful😊
Does your daughter wear the cgm sensor?
Hi, just wanted to say I was also diagnosed in my teens (14)…and it was extremely difficult at times. Had a younger sibling diagnosed within the next year as well. With lots of family support (which I will forever be grateful for), we tackled the many challenges T1D threw/throws at us. Continue to offer lots of love and support and continue to encourage your daughter to share her feelings as best as she can. I never really had many opportunities back then to utilize all of the resources that are available now (support networks, camps, online resources, etc), so I encourage her to explore any and all of them to get the added support of people personally living with T1D (It was almost ten years until i actually met another person…a coworker… with T1D around my age besides my sibling!) It definitely helps to know you are not alone. There will be good days and there will be bad days…and no, quite honestly, it’s just not fair…and I really believe it’s ok to acknowledge that… and then do your best to work through that. Just keep reminding your daughter she is not alone. Those teen years are difficult enough to navigate. I’m sure I’m not saying much of anything you don’t already know… you seem to be a very concerned, caring and loving parent. That being said, there will be good and bad days for you as well. I know my parents struggled for many years with confusion, guilt, lack of sleep, constant worry, fear, etc. I also know that many of those same feelings haven’t ever completely gone away for them…which is also unfair. I know i verbally lashed out to loved ones during lows over the years (no excuse per se, but they truly do feel terrible and can be so scary!)… so it is so very important to remember those dynamics as well and just keep being loving and supportive… I’m guessing your daughter truly appreciates your love and concern (even if you might not hear it from her as often as you hope to). Take good care, all of you. And, remember, you are not alone.
She does! I love it but she hates it.
Thank you! It’s a tough balance between loving and caring vs nagging and annoying. If she would just do what she’s supposed to do then there wouldn’t be as much “nagging”. She just scares me and I don’t want to sit back and watch her deteriorate. Hoping Camp is going to be just what she needs.
I’ve been type 1 for 17 years. I was diagnosed at age 12. I think with T1D there will always be hard times when it makes you feel the worst no matter how hard you try. Recently I went through the wanting to give up. What helped me the most was finding other T1D. For me that was joining Facebook groups and following T1D Instagrams. I hope you find something to help!
Hi. I’m sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggle.
May I suggest that you reach out to the JDRF chapter office near you and request an Outreach Volunteer (OV) with a child in the same age group as yours? This will give both of you someone to talk to.
My name is Chelsea. I know how you feel I’ve been a diabetic for 24 years and diagnosed when I was almost 2 years old. I grew up being the only diabetic in school and that was tough but don’t let that get you down. There are days where I want to quit but realizing I have people around me and supporting me makes getting through it a lot easier. I’m not gonna tell you it’s easy but don’t quit even if you have to tell yourself to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard I know but just think I was around your age and ran two 5Ks. I know you can get through this! You can do it!
I was diagnosed with TD1 one year ago. I am 30 now. I was struggling very much with this condition because I was a sweet-tooth person all of my life. My sugar’ ups and downs made me crazy!!! But I started my “new life” recently with low carb diet. I still eat some carbs (10-15 per meal) and I am not injecting fast-acting insulin. I am using long-acting insulin only. (Sometimes I use fast-acting for correction if I ate more carbs for a weekend). It made my life much easier than before. Maybe it will work for your daughter. A little change in her meals, but big positive changes in her diabetic life.
I’ve noticed there is a post on this board from someone looking for diabetics to connect with online. They are 19 - a little older than your daughter - but perhaps your daughter (or you😉) might be willing to start up one for persons her age.