This is my first post on these forums and I'm hoping to get some support to help motivate me to do better. I've been diabetic for 22 years (since age 7) and overall I've had a pretty good life without letting diabetes restrict me too much. At the same time I haven't ignored it either. I had the worst control during college, when each day was different from the next, but I kept very good written records. At that time I was on Lantus twice daily and humalog for mealtime boluses. The hardest part I realized later was that no one taught me about carbohydrate counting to go with Humalog. I'd take a bolus according to what my bloodsugar was, not what I was eating. I was also (and I still am) guilty of overeating when I'm hypoglycemic and taking liberties (a chocolate or some pizza) when I'm under good control for a day or two. Now I'm on a pump (Humalog only) and I've almost got the hang of carb counting, but things just don't want to work most of the time. My A1c could be worse; it's around 7.6, but my readings leave a lot to be desired. Even on days that I exercise, eat at the proper times and the proper foods with the recommended bolus, I usually go low and then have an overcompensating high for at least 12 hours. Nothing seems to be consistent, even when I try to be.
I've become overwhelmed by trying to record everything, especially with relying the pump "recording" each BG, basal rate and bolus--why should I need it all on paper? I won't go into too much detail about my difficulties with uploading Medtronic data with Windows 7--basically going to see my endocrinologist takes a good 5 hours to prepare maybe 2 weeks of data. I'm supposed to do basal checks, but either my BG is too high when I start and I have to bolus, which makes the check pointless, or life gets in the way and I have no time to sit around and not eat for 8 hours.
For the past few weeks I've been feeling good about how things are going and then I receive my labwork form from the endo and it has the word "Uncontrolled" circled. It's just set me back to a depressed/unmotivated state I haven't been in for awhile. What's the point in working harder at it, when I'm already working hard but I'll probably have this label for years to come? I'm not really looking for answers from other members, but perhaps there are other people going through the same thing or who have gotten through it. I don't have any diabetic friends and I think it's time I found some.