This isn't going to be sweet: don't read if you're easily offended

How do I cope?  By realizing that bad things happen and that I need to make intelligent decisions and hope for the best.

People face a LOT of hardships.  A LOT.  Your attitude determines whether you make it or not.  I'm 37 now. I have been diabetic for all of the life I can remember.

ATTITUDE, people, attitude.  I frequently say that my body is trying to kill me but I refuse to die. I've been in situations where I should have died. Doctors don't understand why I'm still around- NOT because of the diabetes, but because of the rampant lows. They originally told my mom that if the reactions weren't stopped, I'd never see my 30th birthday.  Well, I'm still here. I'm still looking for solutions. Every time I meet a doctor who tries to sell me the same old solutions that I tried years ago without success, I find a new doctor. I am my own best advocate. I research treatments, research developments, I go into physician's offices already having the background information to ask intelligent questions. I will NOT give up.  Diabetes doesn't kill you; complications may lead to the fatal conditions, but those aren't AUTOMATIC repercussions.

My father didn't have diabetes. He had something far, far worse. Still, he never complained about the horrible things that happened to him. He just lived with it, focused on the positive parts of his life, and stayed productive.  For me, that's the answer for EVERYTHING.  He is my example.  If you get up every day, feel as though that's one more day for you to do what you have to do to make your life PRODUCTIVE.

Life is hard... for EVERYONE.  Find inspiration everywhere you can.  Seize the moments that bring you joy. Don't focus on your illness, on your fears.  Your life is your own; your choices will determine the outcome. No one knows when we're going to die.  We only know that NOW, we're going to live. Focus on THAT.

Thanks for listening. :)

OK.i would very much like to read what you have just posted.I can always learn from others.But when you start off by calling someone on Juvenation an total  idiot who whines Why ???  Juvenation is made up of many people.All here to learn and help each other.I have been here for months.I see no whiners ,just many members trying to better themselves.Now come after me and call me some names and leave the young ones alone.

Meme, I was pretty direct in explaining that I was going to say some things that "sensitive" people won't appreciate.  Why did you read it?  IF you chose to read it after the warning, don't complain about it.  There are MANY positive, helpful posts on this site.  There are MANY people who are educated, intelligent people who genuinely want to do whatever necessary to ensure that they are able to live the fullest lives possible.

 

My post was mostly encouraging, mostly helpful.

I explained how I cope in my entry.

Michele,I never read past the first few lines.I found them hurtful.They sure did get my attention,but they also prevented me from reading more.Which is the advice you gave anyway.I am sure you have much experience and helpful advice to share.I would also guess you are a nice person too.Maybe I will come back later and read all of this later.I might just learn something :)

I appreciate your post, Michelle.   I'm glad your approach is working for you.

I hope everyone on Juvenation remembers that there are different ways to live a productive and successful life with type 1.

I like what you have to say, Michelle. I agree with the notion that people are better off being proactive about a situation rather than wallowing in self-pity over it. Also that Diabetes is not the end of the world and that, as you so eloquently mentioned, people are far worse off with other ailments and predicaments.

Thanks,

Pat

Sorry. Another random post.  The paramedics just left me at Walmart. Yes, Walmart. Hey, in this part of the country, that's the "everything" store. I fell down in the aisle. Paramedics were summoned. They'd found me once before at the same location. One paramedic scared the hell out of me again by deciding to talk about the fact he didn't feel I should be allowed to drive. He'd given me this same lecture the last time he'd come for me. His implicit threat to report my condition to the DMV terrified me then and terrified me tonight. In Illinois, my license was taken after I passed out and slid into a parked car. No one was sure if I'd lost consciousness before I hit the car, and THAT is why I hit it, or if I panicked afterward and sent myself into low blood sugar.  Anyway, the IL DMV decided to take my license until a doctor confirmed I could drive. I was really scared and decided voluntarily NOT to drive. For ten years.  TEN YEARS!  I just started driving again about a year ago.  I'd decided that my sugars were a bit more stable and I could stay to relatively unpopulated roads and carry a cell and pop and glucose tabs and my blood test and anything else I could possibly think of to keep me (and everyone else on the road) safe.  So, now I just enter stores when I'm fine then pass out when I'm there.  Nice, eh?

So... now I'm a little afraid I'm going to have my driver's license revoked again for bad health. I'm a REALLY careful driver- I test, I drink sugar while driving, etc.  I am worried. Really worried. And angry.  Why did the paramedic have to go there?  I detested his knowing looks, his "I know this lady" commentary, his telling all the other firemen/paramedics that I was fine- my sugar was 41 (which is pretty high for me).  Remember- this was all happening in the middle of a Walmart Supercenter.  Sheesh.

So, some lessons/advice/coping suggestions for myself: 

1) Consider this a warning. Stop shopping at Walmart.

2) Take my blood test midway through any shopping trip. I had my blood tester on me- I had just decided not to re-test until I finished my shopping. Very stupid move.

3) Invest in kneepads. Falling to the tiled floor hurts. I'm thinking I may start wearing full body gear. I'm pretty sure the football coach will let me borrow as much padding as I want if I promise all of his football players will pass my class.

4) Think about creating some type of neon sign that flashes, "No Need to Worry. This Woman is Diabetic. She Has No Idea What is Going On. Please Refrain from Asking Her Any Questions. See That Blank Stare? This Is Your Signal to Keep MOVING. Leave Her Alone. Please Don't Call the Paramedics- Just Bring Her a Bottle of Juice."

5) I'm thinking of asking Walmart to donate a special section of the store to people with low blood sugar. We could have soft, roll-out feather beds on the floor, giant tubs of orange juice, and thin mints served by small, chipper children.  We could call it the "We have LOW prices and LOW blood sugars. Come on in- the LOWS can't be beat!"

6) Start carrying a folding chair with me at all times. I like sitting on the floor but whenever I pass out, whoever is trying to help me ends up getting stuck on the floor, too.  It's one thing to be semi-lucid and cross-legged by choice.  It's another to watch several elderly men in tight uniforms trying to pick themselves up off the floor while giving me disapproving looks.  Maybe I could fall down, toss out the folding chair and at least THEY could be comfortable while trying to stick needles into my needle-resistant body.  The E.R. Chair. I like the sound of that... I guess it would really be the EMT Chair.  Hmmm.....

I sort of passed out in the middle of my second hour class, too.  Nurse and secretary came in, force fed me juice, asked me goofy questions until I started coming out of it.  Second hour got out of having their vocabulary flash cards checked. <sigh>  On the bright side, I'm pretty sure that they didn't notice that I was wearing a REALLY unflattering outfit.  The loss of consciousness and blank stare seemed to overshadow the fact that my brown turtleneck made me look like an Oreo cookie gone VERY wrong.  

I'm not complaining.  Stuff sucks sometimes.  But hey- I still have my arms and legs.  Right, mom? I can still see through my thick glasses. I still laugh more and give more dirty looks than most people I know.  Life isn't perfect and bad situations seem to follow me.  BUT I'm still here. Still fighting. Still looking forward to good days ahead. I have an appointment on Wednesday to see about getting a CGM and a new pump.  Maybe today was just a sign that I really need to FOCUS on getting that equipment quickly... Well, either that or it was just God's way of saying it was a REALLY slow day at Walmart. LOL

Michelle,

Your first post is so serious and then the second had me cracking up especially 5&6. You are right that there are other ways of coping and I am glad that you posted yours..

Gina

 

Hey Michele, I've got another one for you. How about you get one of those big magnetic car signs, put it where all the other drivers and pedestrians can see it, and have it say "Follow This Car at Your Own Risk: Driver is an Angry Diabetic"

I knowy you're trying to infuse some humor into these stories about your harrowing experiences with this disease, which I am quite well informed about because of your posts. But I really think you might have a problem getting through all that self pity and anger so that you can realize YOU ARE ENDANGERING OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES WHEN YOU DRIVE.  What happens when you "roll over" someone's child? "bump into" a bike rider? run a red light? I would be as wary of you on the road as I would a drunk driver. I know many other people, myself included, with this disease that don't have near the issues you have with low blood sugars and are, thus, very capable of driving safely. From what you tell us here, you're verging on "menace."   You were right to be angry with the paramedic at Walmart, but not for asking you questions and giving you the hairy eyeball. You should have been upset with him for not calling officials over right then and there to confiscate your licence and make sure you didn't mangle anyone on your way home.

I mean, am I the ONLY person who's thought this upon reading these posts? Am I just being a "goody two-shoes" or an uptight moron?  Really?

As far as advice on coping, since this is the place for it, I've always found that tapping into one's God-given grace and good sense to be far more valuable than being bitter (and a lot less exhausting). Maybe your blood sugars might improve a little too...who knows? It's worth a try, right? It's certainly worth saving a life or two, even if one of them is your own.

OK, I'm climbing down now. I have to go take one of my dog's to get micro-chipped at the vet. Life goes on...

Best of luck in life. I hope your dog's microchipping is the worst of the dramas in your life.  

Michele, you seem to take real offense to people giving their opinion on your posts and comments. Maybe you bring it all on yourself. You seem like you need attention alot. You pick things out of peoples lives and sarcasticly attack them on it.

If you dont like reading others posts then dont and people in return wont read your rants about nothing.

In my opinion you SHOULDNT BE ON THE ROAD! You are an angry person too. You will probably kill someone or yourself one day.

I have been reading people's responses and I appreciate the explanatory nature of some of the responses.  Believe it or not, the private messages I've been getting regarding my outlook are POSITIVE, not negative.  

Again, I am trying not to laugh about the "angry" comment. No, I'm not offended.  Just amused... not sarcastically, not bombastically, not rudely, not condescendingly.  Simply amused. While I'm fortunate enough to have inherited really good genes and don't have wrinkles yet, I DO have some laugh lines around my eyes.  Why?  Because I laugh a lot.  Not cruel, hurtful, spiteful laughter- joyful, grateful, contagious laughter. People (in life, not here) are drawn to me because I support them, help them laugh at things that shouldn't be taken too seriously.

I had one accident/problem due to low b.s. in 21 years.  ONE.  Frankly, when I feel alright about my sugars, I drive. As for being an angry driver (at least, that's what I think you were saying), now I AM laughing.  I can't even cut someone off.  

Another coping technique: laughter.  A wise man said that laughter was the best medicine.  I'm not always sure that's the case- I watch kids making snide comments about one another and their laughter afterwards never reaches their eyes.  THAT isn't the laughter I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the laughter that starts in the belly and takes over to the point where you hiccup, cough, choke, drop things.  Sometimes even ridiculous things can roust these bouts of laughter. Sometimes it's just reactionary but usually, when we laugh, it's because we NEED to laugh.  I've been reading an old Mark Twain essay collection. I have no idea why, but I can't stop laughing while I read it. I watch my ferrets wrestle and crack up. I watch my cats jumping around like lunatics and laugh. I watch my dog pass gas and then jump up as if she has no idea where the noise came from and just die.  There's not always a lot in life at which we can laugh and sometimes, people drown in their own sorrows.  The grief makes it impossible to see anything worth laughing at. THAT is tragic. Look around you, find the thing that brings you honest joy.  It doesn't matter if that is FML, the squirrel dropping the nut and then running up and down the tree in an effort to find the lost score, the little dab of guacamole stuck to a loved one's chin, a bumper sticker that tells you to honk if you like boobies (yes, that is a real one), John Stewart, or even the lyrics to a favorite tune. Find the laughter in everything- even in snide commentaries. There is ALWAYS something that's worth a giggle.  Always.

Michele,

Oh DO put a plug in it!. (Maybe Juvenation should rename this group to something like "LOOK AT ME! I'm REALLY Unremarkable!"  Or maybe "Michele's Mental Vomit.")

And yes, I'm overtly hostile when I see others who are so self-agrandizing and blatantly condescending. Are you really that dull, or do you REALLY think your online "persona" is fooling anyone? Maybe you're just fooling yourself, and if that helps you cope, then good for you. But at least stop pretending that you're NOT trying to tell the rest of us how amazing you think you are, or how utterly unique you find your perceptions to be.  The more you write, the more desperate and pathetic you sound.  The sooner you stop BS'ing yourself, the sooner you may come up with something honest and original to contribute as well as something that might actually help someone else.

To any others reading this, I AM sorry to sound so harsh, but I am SO SICK of people using the fact that they have this disease to stand out from the crowd and elevate themselves, when in fact, we're just a group of ordinary people who are just as responsible as anyone else to take what we've been given and actually make something of ourselves. Having diabetes should be nothing more in the whole scheme of becoming a decent human being than the fact that our eyes are green (or brown, or hazel, or blue, or whatever).

Peace.

Hello everyone,

While Juvenation is an open forum to express yourself we do have rules. Under the Site Use section of the Terms of Service located at the bottom left of every page it states this under section (i)

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Please read the terms of service to its completion. Failure to comply with the Terms of Service can be just cause for permanent ban. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email me back.

Please respect your fellow juvenators.


Thanks,

Gina
Juvenation Community Manager

All right...I'll play nice.

(It was the "mental vomit" thing, wasn't it...?)

For the other readers, if I really have seemed condescending and self-absorbed... sorry.  I was actually trying to lend a different view to something that seems to often be viewed askance. I was TRYING to offer legitimate ways of coping. I've had a lifetime of dealing with this, dealing with difficulties of my own and difficulties of others I love, and I have found some pretty effective ways of keeping one hand on the oar, even in the most brutal storm.  I certainly don't walk around feeling sorry for myself- except for those who see me getting ill, no one even knows about my disease. I prefer to keep that private. I don't make a spectacle of myself, don't discuss it (except with medical personnel), don't allow it to become a major determining factor in my life. I really DO think it's important to focus on the little things in life that bring us pleasure, even when there is also pain.  We all have those things- for some, it's kids, spouses, jobs, poetry, music, wine, literature, or skydiving. For some, it's more simple- pets, friends, family, etc.  Everyone gets down sometimes- everyone gets frustrated, sick of dealing with the day-to-day stuff that grows tiresome, everyone gets sick of dealing with judgmental people who think they know everything about you, your disease, and your life.  People are all too willing to pretend to know what's best for you and sometimes, it's hard to find a way to just turn it all off for a while. My POINT here was that we all have very different methods for dealing with difficulties- and we all take a lifetime to perfect those methods. I see nothing wrong with sharing what we've learned.

Is there anyone besides me that thinks it would be a good idea to take this post down ? We have all given our thoughts,maybe it's time to start new . thanks :)

I completely agree that this should be taken down. I was seriously hurt, and I wasn't even part of the convo. But first there is a couple things i want to say:

This i mainly direscted toward Michele. First of all, keep in mind, I have only had diabetes for 11 months, and I am continously abused in school for being "gross" and the "blood girl" and the "needle freak" all from being diabetic. So quite honsetly, I think it is ok to sometimes wallow in your sadness. But it's not ok to get down on yourself all the time. I am 14 years old. (Soon to be 15) Diabetes is not easy, as you obviously know. And to be quite honest, I think it sounds like you have a lot of bottled up anger, and anxiety from you diabetes, and I think it would be healthy for you to talk to a therapist or someone. We are very similar. I too suffer from seizures from lows. I've had 7 in the past few moths. 2 of them in my sleep, 2 of them resulted in a very serious concussion, and the other 3 were terrifying. And when things like that happen to people so frequently, they should seriously consider seeking help. I did, and it has been wonderful. And I do understand it could be worse, like have no arms or legs, but it also is much harder then having a food allergy, or asthma, or something like that. So it IS a really bad condition. Especially, when thier is someone like you or me, when its more then diabetes, its diabetes and seizures. Me personally, I've many seizures, i was diagnosed with severe insulin-resistance, and next week I am being tested for celiac disease because of the diabetes.

So my coping tecnique- I feel sad for myself. Maybe I personally took it a little to far because I was put on 2 SSRI's and anxiety medication, and sleeping pills. But after seeking help, I have gotten much better. Still on medication, but I realize I can be a little sad for myself, but very rarely, and I know how to stay positive, and express my anger and sadness rationally.

I completely agree that this should be taken down. I was seriously hurt, and I wasn't even part of the convo. But first there is a couple things i want to say:

This i mainly direscted toward Michele. First of all, keep in mind, I have only had diabetes for 11 months, and I am continously abused in school for being "gross" and the "blood girl" and the "needle freak" all from being diabetic. So quite honsetly, I think it is ok to sometimes wallow in your sadness. But it's not ok to get down on yourself all the time. I am 14 years old. (Soon to be 15) Diabetes is not easy, as you obviously know. And to be quite honest, I think it sounds like you have a lot of bottled up anger, and anxiety from you diabetes, and I think it would be healthy for you to talk to a therapist or someone. We are very similar. I too suffer from seizures from lows. I've had 7 in the past few moths. 2 of them in my sleep, 2 of them resulted in a very serious concussion, and the other 3 were terrifying. And when things like that happen to people so frequently, they should seriously consider seeking help. I did, and it has been wonderful. And I do understand it could be worse, like have no arms or legs, but it also is much harder then having a food allergy, or asthma, or something like that. So it IS a really bad condition. Especially, when thier is someone like you or me, when its more then diabetes, its diabetes and seizures. Me personally, I've many seizures, i was diagnosed with severe insulin-resistance, and next week I am being tested for celiac disease because of the diabetes.

So my coping tecnique- I feel sad for myself. Maybe I personally took it a little to far because I was put on 2 SSRI's and anxiety medication, and sleeping pills. But after seeking help, I have gotten much better. Still on medication, but I realize I can be a little sad for myself, but very rarely, and I know how to stay positive, and express my anger and sadness rationally.

Janie,

  I think I'm in love with you .. hahah that was awesome!!!   I'm glad you type what you think ...

 

thanks

rich