Trying to be comfortable with my body

So, four years ago I was diagnosed with T1D. At the time, I was 15yr old. There were many signs of the fact that I most likely had diabetes but my doctors didn’t see it. I lost a very high amount of weight in a short period of time and it was the first time in my life that people called me “skinny”. I was never obese or large but I was a chubby kid and I’ve always had some meat on my bones. For the first time ever, I was skinny and I loved it. Except, it didn’t last as long as I was hoping. In October 2011 I found out that I was a T1D. After being in the hospital for a week in Boston I came home and gained 20lbs in a short amount of time. Depression hit me very quickly. Before then, I already suffered from mild depression but after the weight gain I completely lost it. It was a lot to handle at the time and I still struggle so much with excepting my body. Over the four years, I’ve lost and gained weight but stayed in almost the same range. I started to see a trainer when I was diagnosed and continued to see her through out high school. Drama happened and I don’t speak with her anymore. It’s been hard motivating myself to go to the gym and really push myself to the goals I’ve been wanting to reach for years now. I love, love, love exercise but sometimes the depression is just to much for me to be able to fight back. These days it’s been twice as hard. I’m 19 now and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life besides just handling my diabetes also. Sometimes, staying in bed just seems so sweet but I know once I get out of the house I feel so much better. It’s just that little push that I need in my life. I don’t know if anyone understands or has gone through something like this but it feels so great to be able to openly talk about this finally.

Howdy, i went through exactly what you are explaining. I was very thin when diagnosed at thirteen but put on weight as a teenager. In college i trained to be a forest fire fighter (i dont let this disease hold me back) and managed to drop from 240 down to 220. When i was done my term with fire i quickly gained the weight back.
What made me get serious and shed the weight to a trim 198 now was stumbling a website called marks daily apple. Its a lifestyle change in diet and excercise with a low carb approach. This was taken to another level reading the diabetes diet by dr. Bernstein. Following this new lifestyle plan has had me literally losing two lbs a week and growing muscle. (I do work as a utility arborist so i have a physical job) this change in managing my diabetes, my weight, and my fitness has spilled over into the rest of my life as well, i feel good and the confidence of accomllishing this change hps the tackling of other problems!

Look forward to the goals you have-- the things you really want not the windy road between you and them.

That sounds like exactly what I went through when I was diagnosed at 16. I had lost some weight which I loved because I was in a school play where I had to wear a snug dress, and everyone told me how great I looked. I’d always been on the normal/thick side and had never been called “skinny” before. Of course within a few weeks I was in DKA with a BG of 1140 and found out I was Type 1. Over the next few months I started to chunk up, gained back the 20 I’d lost plus another 20. During college, I barely ever checked my BG because I mistakenly believed “I could tell” what my BG was by how I felt. I was slender and loving it, but now I know my BG’s were all over the place, and often high. I got a pump 15 years ago and have had A1C’s at 7 or lower ever since, and I feel so much better. Initially with the pump I gained a little, but a lower-carb diet has helped me maintain a good healthy weight. Not skinny, but healthy. Thank you for sharing your story and that it’s not too late to start taking care of yourself.

Thank you so much to the both of you! You’ve definitely sparked some hope and motivation in me to get back on track again. It means a lot :slight_smile: