Trying to be strong for my parents

I have been diagnosed for about 6 weeks today, I have been trying to handle this as much as I can while being in college, working, and trying to be strong for my family. I still ask myself every night why me? Even though I know the lord gives his hardest challenges to his strongest soldiers. I have been blessed with amazing parents who have backgrounds in the medical field, but they didn’t even know much about diabetes until 6 weeks ago. I have a daily struggle about giving myself shots every night and when I eat. My insulin burns and it makes me cry in pain, and it’s not just the lantus but also the humalog. I have kept my blood sugars down where they need to be because I just do not have the time to end up back in the ER for a low or a high, but the struggle is getting harder everyday and I feel alone…I don’t know what to do anymore…

Oh sweetie…As a parent of a newly diagnosed teen, I can assure you that you do not need to be strong for your parents. They are there for you. Be patient with their emotional up and downs. They will be be over-bearing, try to control you, act like they know it all, etc. they are only doing these things out of their extreme love for you and their feelings of guilt. The key is to respect eachother’s feelings and let them work with you to make things a little easier. Things do get better. There will be awful days too. That is just the nature o the disease. Talk to them, dear. Because, believe me, they want to hear what you have to say. Let go and let them hold you. The greatest weapon you have against this is family. Blessings to you

Your response is normal but wrong. You don’t have to protect your parents from your pain or your struggles. Dealing with problems honestly together is one of the biggest blessings a family can have. Talk to your parents. They can handle it and honesty is the best way to live.

Insulin can burn. While you’re doing the injection or just after you take the needle out of your skin, try circling the area about an inch around the injection site with your finger tip. Nerve endings can only handle so many signals at once and this can diffuse the pain. When you shoot up also make a point to relax your body and breathing.

I really doubt you’ll end up in the ER with a high or low. It would have to be really extreme, which is unlikely to happen in every day life once you’re taking insulin. If you get a stomach flu, skip your insulin for days, or randomly shoot up without testing you can end up in the hospital but otherwise you’ll be ok.

You sound like person who believes in God and is likely a Christian. If that’s the case then you need to correct a couple of misunderstandings. Diabetes didn’t happen as a punishment to you. We live in a fallen world and bad things happen. It seems like the rest of the world has it easy, but if you take the time to visit with most people you will be shocked to learn some of the tragedies others have. God allows those things to happen so we stop focusing on the dopey distractions of this world and focus on him and on helping other people. With God you can have peace and joy in ANY situation. As you get older you will also see that it is the struggles in life that help us mature and face reality.

God doesn’t always give the biggest challenges to his strongest soldiers either. That’s nowhere in the Bible. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 12 that it’s through our weakness we are strong. It’s through our pain, our afflictions, our troubles that we are at our best. Some people get a disproportionate amount of suffering. I personally know young children who are orphans, others who were molested by parents and then finally given to their grandma to raise, a mom and kids who lived in a storage shed with no water or electricity for several months. This is in America! There are many parts of the world where people would be grateful to have a shed to live in. My husband’s dad was a violent alcoholic who abused their family. But God used that awful experience in my husband’s life to make him seek God and always speak the truth. Through his faith in Jesus my husband has forgiven his dad and uses his past experience to counsel many people in similar circumstances. Without the struggle my husband wouldn’t have been the same strong man of character he is. He would be a shadow of who he is.

I know it is a shock to be diagnosed. And it’s okay to mourn the loss of who you were. You will go through sadness, anger, frustration, denial and all the other stages of mourning, so be ready for them when they come. Talk to your parents. Be honest with them. Your parents have an overwhelming love for you and they have seen you through all sorts of struggles in your life. Even if they can’t fix this, they will appreciate getting to share it with you and loving you through it. Trust God that diabetes has not stolen the great life you were supposed to have. He doesn’t waste your time or make mistakes. God is going to use this experience to do something even more in your life and maybe even help you to bless others.

@calibound97,

From personal experience, DON’T BE STRONG for your parents. Let them know EXACTLY what you are feeling. They need to know so they can help you. You don’t have to do this alone. I felt like you as well, after my diagnosis and it turned into a really bad downward spiral for me. I held things in for 5 YEARS! THE ONLY reason I told my family diabetes was overwhelming for me was because I was breaking down on a daily basis and so depressed that it was so apparent something was wrong with me.

Contact your local JDRF location (http://jdrf.org/locations/) so that you can meet others that have diabetes where you can talk freely with people who understand in person as well as coming here to vent with us! We understand what you are going through, and are available anytime day or night. Hang in there sweetie it gets better and is less overwhelming as you figure things out. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!!!

You sound like a smart, bright, intelligent girl! This is a very challenging disease, and you will be able to handle it. There is alot to learn about trying to control blood sugars, it’s not easy at first,and there are many times where I struggle. I agree, God knows who to give his crosses to. My philosophy is “It could be worse”. I was diagnosed at age 14. I prayed that God would take this disease away from me. It made me stronger! I have been a diabetic for 44 years. Don’t try to be strong for your parents.Your are not alone, you have gotten support from other diabetics already and can continue to do so, by reaching out. Good luck!

@calibound97 I also was diagnosed while I was away at college almost a year ago. It definitely makes the adjustment a lot harder when you are away from your family. However, I strongly suggest that you keep your parents in the loop and not try to protect them from what you are dealing with. You will definitely need them to lean on. My biggest suggestion is to try getting on a pump as soon as possible! I was on injections for six months at school and it was huge pain to be pulling out syringes on campus and dining halls. I don’t have to worry about that now with my pump, it has given me that extra needed freedom. If you ever need to talk to someone or need advice with school and diabetes, message me. You aren’t alone!

I will echo everyone else’s advice here, with one more point. You need to talk to your parents because you are still young and I am guessing you will still be living with them on breaks, over the summer, etc. It will be more frustrating for them (and you) if they do not understand what’s going on. You don’t have to spill your heart out, but don’t try to hide everything either. For example, they may try to tell you how to take care of yourself. You may know that their advice is the total opposite of what you should do–instead rolling your eyes and getting frustrated that “no one understands”, try to educate them as you go along and explain things. It will save all of you some headaches.

I have no idea what your relationship with your parents is like or even if you’re the “eye rolling” type–this is just one example I could think of. Don’t assume that they don’t understand, but that they just need to be educated.

I think most of us can relate one way or the other. Funny story is I used to disdain anything that had to do with needles when I was little then when I was diagnosed I felt it was the worst that could happen however, after a while you start to get used to the whole big deal of managing diabetes(pricking, injections, etc). Everything will get better with time and patience. Your parents will never stop worrying about you and everything that involves you even if you pretend to be strong. Mine still do and I’m in my 20s. I have found that using an insulin pump has made my life better in the sense I only have to do one insertion every 3 days so in the future look out to see if that’s an option for you but on the mean time I remember that I felt a lot of pain like it was burning if the insulin was really cold just taken out of the fridge. What I use to do was take it out let it rest around 10 min then apply it. It might work for you. Try to share more with your parents you know 3 heads might find a better solution than one with a million things on her mind. I wish you nothing but the best and if you ever need someone to talk don’t hesitate and contact me or anyone else in the group that you might like. We have our fair share of experience and could guide you with some tips