I had someone go on the other day telling me what good food choices they make going on and on. Maybe I was taking it wrong,but the next thing I find myself doing is listing all the good choices I make.Listing whole wheat ect.. I have also felt the watchful eye at the store. I can be having a talk with someone and they glance at my basket.All I can think is why did I have to just pick up the bag of cookies and put them on top.So I wondered if it was just me and my guilt for not doing things perfect.
Hi again Meme - sounds like diabetic guilt is rubbing off on you (i relate it to Catholic guilt too lol). If I eat something bad, I feel guilty at times but as long as it's a treat here and there, we shouldn't feel guilty. What I do is make a list and stick to it so I don't wander looking at all the sales on chips! (my downfall) Over the past year, my wife has battle Candida issues so I've tried to eat better as well and it has really helped 1. with my energy levels and 2. keeping my bs leves more consistant. I try to stay around the perifery of the store and avoid going down the isles. Sticking with fruit, veggies and meat. Can't do it all the time though and I stopped beating myself up for it. I do, however, check the sugar content of everything - not carbs (although I do keep an eye on them). If the sugar content is way up, I avoid it. I'm all for whole grains etc. but some brands are better than others. Not all whole grains are made the same! I find the less processed the food is, the better it is for my bs levels. That being said - ever notice that the better you try to eat, the more expensive it is? For me, sometimes cash is tight and I have to go processed which I don't want to do but have to. We all have to live how we want and shouldn't have to explain ourselves - maybe cut ourselves a break here and there. We can't be perfect :)
I have my guilt areas and my concerns but my grocery habits… wow – that one hadn’t occurred to me, LOL I should, I suppose be embarrassed by some of the things that will find their way home with me.
I will second Doug’s statement that it can be more expensive to be health-conscious-only in shopping and that while it can often be done in budget – certainly (for some of us) not always…
The thing that works for me is that I really focus on living live well, “on the average.” It is the same philosophy that I carry with me regarding my diabetes management. I expect I will have spikes (occasionally) over 200 or under 50 – these things will happen because I’m diabetic and I am imperfect. My averages are good which means my A1C’s are good and for me, that is enough for me to feel good. By the same measure, not every food I eat is a “good food” but on average, most of what I buy, pick up or put in my mouth for food is pretty good for me. I am imperfect. I have never tried to convince anyone that I am anything else and I find it is comfortable being me.
I can’t (and would not) tell you what to feel or how to view the world but let me point out what I see from where I sit on the outside:
- You care about buying good and healthy foods and you pay attention to what you bring into your home
- You think highly of your friends and their opinions and you value their input
- You hold yourself to high standards and are concerned for those around you
If it was me, and I knew that people could, at passing glance, pick up the above information about me, I think I could feel more proud than embarrassed in most situations.
I do find bigger more boisterous ways to embarrass both myself and my family, btw… but that’s another post ;)
Thank you for posting this, – really got me thinking about a lot!
As parents, we try to watch what Danielle eats, mainly to be sure she has the right Carb count, but at the store, we try to buy things that all the girls will eat, and that are healthy, while staying within our budget.
With the pump it allows her to eat without restriction providing she covers her Carbs etc, also, being a teen, we want to get her in the practice and habit of being able to manage her meals or what she drinks by using her pump right or limiting the amount of food she eats at a specific time, not what foods she eats.
We know that in a few short years she will be in college and/or out on her own and habits she develops will be what helps her advoid problems.
Mark - I just had to say I like the way you are approaching it. My parents allowed me to do that from the time I was 10 so going off to college was not an issue. Be well.
Food shopping is one of those interesting things that we all deal with. There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong buying and putting cookies into a cart. Heck it does not matter what we put in our carts. When I go food shopping my list is always random as I only get stuff for certain recipes. So one day I could go food shopping and buy Oranges, Apples, Eggs, Green peppers, Cheese, Brownie Mix and Cake frosting. Yet the oranges are for breakfast, the apples are for lunch, the eggs are for the brownies I am making for my friends and assorted other things, the peppers are going into the chili I was making and forgot to get peppers... I always forget the green peppers, the cheese is for the chili and also the omelette I am going to make for either breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Yet if you look at the basket it would seem like I am buying stuff for two meals.
It really does not matter what goes in the cart as long as what we make with it is not so completely unhealthy. Who cares about the cookies and the sweets. In the end it does not really matter cause we are doing things the way they need to be done. Granted eating the entire box of cookies may make the Diabetic Guilt kick in. (I believe Catholic Guilt is so much worse and if Doug keeps making fun of it I may have to sic my Pet Nun on him :-p .) In the end though it does not matter, I have long since given up on making sense of my cart as I know good stuff is coming out of there even if we have an impression that people are "judging" the basket. In the end what do they know?? NOTHING!
It's funny, but I don't consider anything "bad." I eat what I want. I figure, as long as it's in moderation, and as long as I exercise and bolus appropriately, it doesn't really matter. There's nothing that I feel I need to deny myself...as far as groceries are concerned, that is.
If anyone looks funny at me, then I consider it to be their problem, not mine.
I've got enough things to worry about, just being a diabetic. I don't think I need to add to the list, as far as emotional baggage or guilt trips.
I like to grill a lot so I'm always buying steaks or ground beef it seems like. I also grill Chicken, so chicken is another thing in the cart. I like to eat a lot of fresh veggies so I buy a lot of red, green, and yellow bell peppers. Yum. Along with fresh jalapeños, zucchini, and lettuce. Also lately, I've found large plastic wrapped sweet potatoes that are easily microwaved. I was told beforehand and have found from experience that sweet potatoes are better for me than regular. With a butter substitutes and cinnamon it's really good.
Lunch usually involves whole wheat or double fiber bread, with a cheap cold cut and cheese. I found this delicious jalapeño pimento cheese! If I'm not eating a sandwich it's usually nutrigrain bars.
Lately for breakfast, I've been eating a lot of eggs (mostly whites), some sausage or bacon, and either toast or here lately it's been English muffins. Awesome stuff.
I'll also buy whey protein for shakes after workouts and nutrigrain or cereal bars for snacks and lows.
Also for a delicious, basically sugar free, mojito recipe. My girlfriend and I get Bacardi Limon and mix it with diet sierra mist, with crushed mint leaves, and a lime slice. :)
I'm on a pretty strict diet (not related to diabetes, tied to various athletic pursuits) and I'm headed to a wedding this weekend where sticking to it will be relatively impossible. I am definitely feeling the guilt already...
Yeah, eating healthier foods is definitely more expensive. I guess it's one more of those balancing acts. I mostly stick to the perimeter of the store, and to the organics & health section (talk about expensive...try organics!). Not that I don't occasionally slip cookies into the cart, but when you're paying premium for the "good" stuff, you don't do it as often.
About 2 months ago I listened to the audio of a really great book called "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan. He goes into all of the reasons why what we're eating (as a culture) is making us sick and killing us, the history of the food industry and "nutritionism", and common-sense guidelines for eating healthier (probably not the guidelines you'd expect). If anyone needs a little kick-start to get tightening up your eating, I highly recommend this book. I was actually inspired to plant a little kitchen garden for fresh herbs and produce :)
I also love "French Women Don't Get Fat" by Mireille Guiliano for learning how to create and enjoy great food and a healthier lifestyle (doesn't that sound marketed?). Really great, fresh fruit can be just as luscious and satisfying as a bag of cookies :)
I should add, if you live in an area with a Trader Joes, eating healthy can be cheaper than the alternative. :)
Lucky for everyone, Guilt is an important emotional response. It means that we have something, a problem, to deal with. Good news is, guilt goes away when we deal with it AND best of all you get a reward when you deal with guilt. I used to feel guilty about buying and eating sweets. I didn't like the guilty feeling or my sugars response.
So, the problem wasn't the guilt! You should not feel upset about not being the healthy food god. For me real problem is my sugars going high and the lack of control that I have when I consume certain sweets
How do I deal with that and remove guilt at the same time??
Find a better sweet. =)
Research Low Glycemic foods like chocolate/vanilla soy drinks, tofu shakes. Fruit smoothies (with carbonated sugar free fruity drinks), sweet potatoes- spend money, the cost of a bag of cookies, on 3 boxes of raspberries. Wrap an apple in foil and back it for a few minutes and apply a little brown sugar (this can also be done in the microwave.) For something really special I can have 1/2 cup of soy icecream, take insulin and my sugar stays level!
It is hard to break away from baked goods, I am a doughnut fiend myself, but I feel soo bad after I eat them. Either from guilt or from high blood sugars (followed by the fast drop), more then likely I feel bad because of both. So every time I feel tempted I say. "Oh, I'll get that in three weeks." (but I never actually count down)
Reward- no more guilt, pride in resolving a problem, pride in saying no to the bag of cookies, better glucose control, knowledge of how foods affect your sugar so you don't have guilt when you don't need it! =) Warning: It feels awesome!
As for shopping, I made it easy on myself I only shop the outside isles. I won't even travel down the center isles, well besides the Mexican food and Asian food isles, I like spices.
Edit:And I just read your bio and saw that your not diabetic. =) Silly assumption on my part. But I think that you'll get what I mean. Locate the source of guilt- perhaps beliefs that you have done something wrong, or that you are being judged by a watchful eye, and feeling ashamed that you are not perfect. You're not perfect, and you are still learning. Just like those people who list of the good things that they are doing may be trying to share info, maybe brag a little, maybe they are setting standards for themselves and setting you up to be a watchdog for them. They would sure feel embarrassed if they bragged about being the diet god and got caught. =) They may be building more networks of people to look out for their diet, using potential social guilt to their advantage.
Best of luck =) think about the sources of your problems and try to figure out what you can do