What should do or does it need be handled?

Hello all…I guess I need to either be blowing off steam or finding out if I don’t know what I thought I did.
Stepdaughter 13 with T1D less then year ( July/Aug 2015)
Her mother who still does all her shots for her and all… (at our house we do with her or chm on what she does) let her go on a long week vac with grands ( we don’t object) but just found out her vs has been high 300 yesterday and at 400 today. She didn’t go to hospital to have urine checked or anything. It now after 6 hrs has come down.should we be worried and upset like I am, on top of the mother never told us, I just had called her to check on.

Hello Stepmom,

It is hard to realize that you (the parent) will not always have the control when it comes to managing your child’s diabetes. When they are with us even if we are not physically checking their blood sugar for them we are there to ask if they did and how high or low it was so it is natural to want to intervene when it is someone else we’ve entrusted with their care. As a mother who has been raising a T1 for the last 16 years I can relate to the concern you have with her levels being high but; I would suggest not getting involved from the standpoint of addressing it with her mother or grandparents. Instead I would suggest two different courses of action that may help. As a stepmother myself I would let her father address it with her mother and stay out of it, it is hard to hear and sometimes accept but some there are often things that parents have to address together without the stepparent being involved in and this may be one of them. Her mother may not appreciate your input on her daughter’s care and may not receive what you are saying from a place of concern which could resort in discord between the two of you. This is why the other suggestion may be the better way to go. Wait until she gets home and address your concern with her levels with her directly. At 13 she should be or at least it is recommended that she be independent enough to be responsible for checking her own blood sugar and be mindful of what she eats. If she is not then this might be a good time to help her be more independent so that when she is away from you and her father she will be more responsible and will remember to check her blood sugar even when not prompted. The high levels are often due to either a lack of checking her blood sugar and/or not correcting for the foods she is eating, so if she is taught how to take her management more seriously she begin checking often enough and correcting as she should which will help reduce the high levels. Hope this helps.

Thank you all for info and support. After another night of waiting to see… bs is down high 200. But still no one had called us to tell us how doing, I am sure her mom and grands. Stepdaughter reacted me personally but wanting her mama to know she let us know was up to 400 for day an half. I think will wait to play out but I don’t understand how a parent can just keep saying the insulin fixes it and blows off exercise, schedule and still proper eatting … isn’t it better if you don’t have to take so much insulin for yourself, and not use it as the all time cure. Combination better for?
Frustrated but thanks all again

Hi @StepMom,

I too have some concerns but first I want to reiterate what @MStangs offered; really good advice.

My first concern is that at age 13 she does not either know the basics of T1D management or that her mother does not step back and give her the opportunity to learn and take initiative. A 13 year old is very capable of checking BS, giving insulin and understanding foods - although after 59 years with diabetes I still underestimate the effects a few foods have on me.

My second concern is the high BS readings left to correct themselves. It is true that eventually her sugar levels will return to “normal” provided that she does not omit her customary insulin injections and does not consume extraordinary carbohydrates - but by going this route she could possibly cause permanent damage. I did what she is doing [although I always gave my own insulin] for too long and severely damaged my eyes - 100’s of eye surgery’s. AVOID STRENUOUS ACTIVITY WHEN bs READINGS ARE HIGH LIKE HER IN THE 400’S because as her body demands energy, and without insulin, it will attack her stored fats causing acidosis or ketoacidosis.

Without offending you, I hope, I want to correct your understanding of T1 diabetes management that you expressed in your second posting. Successful management of TYPE ONE DIABETES involves a balance between foods consumed, activity levels and insulin - continued injection of insulin is absolutely necessary in T1 diabetes because our bodies do not produce any [or very little in some newly diagnosed] and insulin is an absolute necessity to convert foods into something that her body can use. Needing a “lot” of insulin does not mean that she is not doing things correctly.

I said earlier that your stepdaughter should be taking control of her treatment but that does NOT mean that you shouldn’t be concerned. Do ask her, in non-accusatory ways, how she is doing, if she wants help with something and make yourself available to assist her. Yes, both of you will need to learn many, many things. And the ‘good news’ :slight_smile: is that many things will change - just when you think she is in perfect balance with diet, exercise & insulin everything will go wacky - such happens with hormones, stress and emotions.

Enough ‘preaching’ for now; stay in touch, ask questions, learn and don’t hesitate to ask us anything. Ask in open forums here of send me a message with any questions or concerns.

Dennis I agree whole heartily… and believe it comes down to after a year she still not get that yes use insulin but have to use right amount and properly and with good habits. I just wish that her way of thinking was not all about mom knows all so the rest of us no say so. Upper 300 and at a 400 to me is not a healthy habit.
Thanks for your on-site I wish you could mentor her without input from mom, you have the knowledge and good advice. Thank you

Thanks. Try introducing her to this site and also a few other good places for information that can be found through JDRF.org. Also on here is a “Teen” group where she may find other people her age who are learning how to cope.

Stay positive with her and be encouraging and let her find in you someone who understands what is happening to her - what I’m trying to say is don’t just criticize by saying “that is bad” or “wrong”. I’ll try to be here any time she wants to talk or ask questions about diabetes - and there are many other people visiting this site who have deeper understanding than I.

Thank you so, She needs to listen and learn from others knowledge instead of trying to already be I am an expert attitude that she knows all. The yoyo of sugar levels is still so extreme and weekly even after a year. She was on a pump and cgm but didn’t like how felt so mama took them out and went back to she gives injections…
Anyways yes we have given sites and even a number of local mentor program thru JDRF and mom says she doesn’t need. so we wait with hands tied. Thanks