What to Do? Please help!

I know most are coping with diabetes that they have.  I am coping with my husbands type 1.  My husband is a very caring and concerned individual for others, but puts himself on the back burner.  We have only been married for 2.5 years.  I knew about his diabetes prior to getting married and experienced both seizures from him being too low and being in a coma for being too high (all in a 3month time frame) prior to getting married.  Those experiences scared me to the point of becoming an insulin czar.  However, my husband, having had this disease for 22 of his 28 years feels he can manage it all himself. 

My frustration comes into play when he doesn't take care of it.  He is on Lantus and Apidra and doesn't take it properly, if any!  For the past couple of weeks he has been experiencing mood swings, vomiting, diarhea, head aches and chest pains.  I would ask him if he's checked his sugar and he always replies "yes".  I know this to not be the case because he has been leaving his kit at work. 

Last night he became very beligerent, incoherent, crying, and started vomiting.  I took him to the ER and he collapsed and passed out in the parking lot.  When he got into the room, they checked his blood sugar and it was soo high that it didn't register on their maching and they drew blood and it was almost 600! I was flored and panicked and so scared.  he is only 28, i'm 29 and we don't have any children.

I don't know if my husband is going to be around into our "golden years" and it makes me question whether or not we should have children together.  I don't want any children to go through what I have to go through roughly every 3 - 4 months.  He is killing himself and it kills me to watch it. 

 I've told him how I feel and my concerns and he does what he should for about 3 weeks and then back to the old routine of not having a routine. 




You have my sympathy on this one. 

Something has got to change.  If he's not taking insulin he's going to feel like crap and you will also feel like crap because of him.  (You know this already, right?)  If he were to get on a routine and test/dose properly he would feel so much better.  it's hard to know why he wouldn't do that.  I and many others on here can attest that the BS of it all is totally worth it when you are under some semblance of control.

Maybe he needs to get into some counseling. If he'll go. 

If he doesn't straighten up, you may need to put the hammer down and say "straighten up pal, or I'm outta here" and mean it.    Maybe that's what it takes.

Beyond that I don't know what to say.  Bottom line is he's got to take care of himself.  You can't do it for him.  If he's not willing to do that, how can you make it better by yourself?  YOU CAN'T.  He's a big boy, he's need to step up or it's going to be a miserable short life for him.

I wish you the best on this.

It is not easy to see someone you love not take care of their diabetes, especially if they think they can/ are. I would start by when he says that he is taking care of it tell him to look back at his blood glucose levels. It has always helped for me to write down my numbers, my averages, my insulin, what I eat and all my activity. Then it is easy to see patterns and I can tell when I need something changed. There's not too much you can do besides learn how he acts when he is high or low and then tell him that it is time to test. It will really help him if you show how much you care.


Your post really hit home, although to be honest I was in your husbands position...I have had diabetes for 17years, I am 28 now, and during my early 20's I went through a period of time where I was out of control and sick, very sick, hospital trips and episodes just like you described your husband having.  During one of my hospitalizations, a doctor, who wasn't even my doctor, he was the on-call MD said to me, "we need to get you on the insulin pump, you can't live this way and it can't feel good to live this way".  And it literally saved my life, I became motivated and have not had one trip to the hospital or one sick episode due to a high blood sugar in 7years!!  I know what he is going through is not a quick fix, but have his MD's ever talked with him about the insulin pump, b/c I feel like if he were feeling better, he could focus on a routine and one that you can participate it.  I used to lie about checking my blood sugar too, and now I put a log on the fridge so that my husband can hold me accountable and we can work together!  Please know that I am thinking of you and your husband, he is lucky to have you as his support!

 I can relate to this. I have been married since 2007. I put my wife through similiar situations. I would just guess how much to take. I diddn't want to face the fact that I had diabeties and tried to live like I didn't have it. I have a very physical job that requires me to walk 8 to 10 hours five days a week. I passed out two to three time at the job and had to be rushed to the E.R. I got to the point where my job wouldn't let me come back without a doctors excuse. The last episode happened as I was bout to get off from work. If I made it to the car, I could have got into an accident or killed myself.

     I guess my turning point was when I realized how much my wife and family was being affected by my poor choices. I eventually went to talk to a DIETICIAN and I changed my life. I still sometimes have high but not as much as before. I was taught how to count carbs and that opened my eyes to a new world. I am now in the process of getting a pump.

     I think It has to get to the point where he gets sick and tired of being sick and tired. Once he realizes that he will lose everything including you, he will get it together. I pray he will change.