WHY did i do this to myself?

Ok so some of you know that i have messed up with my diabetes in the past and i just totally stopped checking my blood sugar and taking shots.... not good... my biggest regret ever! well alyssa helped me thro it and im back on track. but this whole 3 years i did this i was in the hospital every other week with DKA.. tha was my fault... i just read someone's post about her son dying of DKA and it really hit me that why in the world did i do that to myself.... i could have died.. i would have commited suicide without truely meaning it. I feel really bad about this and im speechless and really upset with myself but yet im happy with myself that i m doing the right thing now.

as long as you realize the mistake you made and are trying to fix it. thats what really matters now.

thats true! Thanks courtney!!

just don't repeat your mistakes... it's great that you are doing the right thing now! :)

everyone has hard times and i'm sure everyone here wouldn't mind a break every now and then, but just realize you aren't alone!

Don't worry Amber, you are truly stronger then I am. I was only diagnosed in July of this year at 21 and I'm already wanting to quit. I know the consequences, but after living so long with out it, I just don't want to deal with it. I have been lucky so far, I wasn't DKA when diagnosed, which the Drs. don't understand. But there are so many times when I'm getting my insulin ready, that I just don't even want to do it anymore.

Hang in there girl.

yep and yeah im very proud of myself!

and yeah they doo and yes i used to think i was alone but after juvenation ik im not :)

[quote user="Kimi (Aggie_Girl_10) "]I wasn't DKA when diagnosed[/quote]


same here!

Kimi. just know your not alone and if you ever need to tlk there is soooo many people on juvenation who understand! and thanks!

hehe we have the same quote!

Thanks Amber! Yeah I know. I'm so grateful to have found this website.

I love love love that quote!!!

Im gratefull i found it tooo! and me toooo it awsome!!

I think this happens to so many of us.  When I started college, I just couldn't do it anymore... I had already been T1 for 11 years at that point, and I was just tired.  So, so tired of it!  At this same time, my thyroid decided to stop working as well (awesome!  another body part down!), but that went undiagnosed for probably 5 years.  I totally spiraled out of control, and was not myself for a long time.  I think the thyroid thing helps explain why I got so depressed, why my mood and attitude became so radically different, and also why I was so complacent when it came to my diabetic care.  I knew what would happen if I didn't take care of myself - my grandfather, who was T1, died of kidney failure when my mom was 12.  To think that I could have inadvertantly put her through a loss like that again just breaks my heart.

we all make mistakes.  we all go through seasons of not caring and not taking care of ourselves.  what counts is that these are just seasons.  some are short, some are long.  some are depressed and intentional, some we don't realize until much later.  You are on the right track now.  You will do well.

dnt worry sweety, as long as you're better now, you can forget the past

thatnks kelesy!!!

Ya know Amber about 2 weeks i didnt take my blood or needles for about 2 days..and then i figured the only person im hurting is myself

Jeff that is exactly right... you also hurt those around you that r close but you hurt yourself the most! and thats good that you realized that.. i didnt until a goodfriend told me 3 years later :(

I know what thats like . . . you want so badly to act out- to blame someone or something. Sometimes not doing what you are supposed to seems like it will satesfy that urge, but then you catch yourself and realize that you cant act out by neglecting your health.

Ariana, that was very well worded and your exactly right!