Why Should Diabetics Not Get Married?

Theodoros,

 

I hate that you have experienced such prejudice. My mother is a T1 and she has two children! I am a T1 and I am married! These women are not worth your time nor do you have the time to waste explaining to them that you are fully capable to do what ever it is you want to do. Not all women or men care if you have diabetes. You just haven't met the right person. It will come to you though :)

I was dating my boyfriend before I was diagnosed. But, I think that it made our relationship better.

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and 8 months now and we've talked about possible marrage and kids.  It isn't a big deal.  He supports me on anything I do, and he is even more supportive about my diabetes.  He loves me and he wants me to be happy and healthy.  I am only 15, so I know that our marrage is most definatly not set in stone..or even sand.  But I do know that there are people out there that would be happy to marry a diabetic and to have kids.  Its a cruel world, but when the wall gets put up you have three choices:  go around it, jump over it, or throw a rock at it and watch it fall down....(I choose the last one..) :)

So wonderful to see so many really positive posts here and from many young people!

I think that as time goes on, more and more people are getting educated about diabetes. That is really the way to combat such inaccurate ideas... education.

Theodoros,

I was late settling down and dating is hard and it’s harder still when the finances get tight.  I got to the point where I would make sure the diabetes came up on the first date.  Dinner was an easy segue, as I went to give insulin it was only natural to mention what I was doing.  I ended a number of encounters that way and thank heaven I did.

I can’t tell you it’s easy without lying to you but I can tell you it is worth staying in the game, taking care of yourself, setting ridiculously high standards and not compromising them.  I say this as someone who has been married a few years now (5) and has two sons 2 ½ years and 6 weeks of age at the time of this posting. 

I don’t know you but I sure feel for your struggle and I can’t wait to hear the rest of your story some years from now…

Cheers!

A-D

 

This kind of stuff upsets me, being a diabetic is hard enough! You can't even help it and it's just so terrible that someone would change their feelings about you because you have diabetes. About the whole kids getting it thing, anyone can get diabetes! I mean yeah a diabetic's kid will have a higher risk, but still. Someone should love you for who you are, not what you are. Diabetes is not as terrible as people think. Yes it is dangerous but it's controllable. I'm sorry about what happened. However, those women certainly aren't good people if they can't accept something like that. Just wait for that right one, she'll come. :)

I'm diabetic and have been married twice (still am presently).  Be careful what you ask for.

In all my dating years I never had a woman freak out and dump me over it.  Most of them welcome the opportunity to look after you!

I've been lucky to never have this problem, but I'm sure you're not the only one. I have a friend (a guy) who has experienced the same thing. Diabetes should not be an issue with your future wife-- anyone who has a problem is misinformed about the disease. My future husband and his family have all been so accepting, his mom is even doing a diabetes walk later this year. Before anyone can judge, take the time to educate them about diabetes. That's what I did with my fiance when he asked about my insulin pump. He thought it was cool and that I was brave. There are plenty of married diabetics here on this site, so maybe girls just use D as an excuse for "I'm too ignorant and scared so I'll just bail".

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened to you.  I have never had a guy leave me because of diabetes.  My fiance is very supportive and does his best to help me control my diabetes when I need it. There are a lot of people out there who are not phased by diabetes.  You will find the right woman for you.

I did once have a boyfriend's mother tell him that he should not date me because I was diabetic.  Thankfully I never met her in person, or I probably would have been hard pressed to keep my thoughts to myself.  :-)

Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens.  Some people just can't handle being with someone diabetic, either emotionally or mentally.

I was with someone for 7 years.  We were engaged to be married.  I have been diabetic since I was 6, so he'd never known me NOT diabetic.  And I never thought it was an issue.  Until I found out he was cheating.  He later admitted he purposely 'sabotaged' the relationship because he couldn't deal, emotionally, with my diabetes and the effects it might have on me in the future (shortly before that I'd been diagnosed with retinopathy and had to have a vitrectomy).  I think he also had 'bad' visions of what diabetes could do because he had two grandparents with Type 2, who never cared for themselves, and essentially died from complications.  Despite me caring for myself, he couldn't handle the thoughts of what COULD happen.  (And he never talked to me about it.)

Now I am with someone who seems much more willing and able to handle it.  I've talked quite frankly with him about it and if he's ready to accept handling whatever comes our way in terms of my diabetes.  He's stuck by me, and he's my biggest 'cheerleader' for continued good control.  He understands the stresses diabetes adds to my life, and he's supportive.

Finding the right person is not easy, but it is possible.  It will happen for you!

Well, I have never had this problem.  I have found someone who accepts my diabetes and tries to learn more about it if there's something he does not understand.  However, I was the one who was afraid that I may not be able to have children.  We got married a little more than a year ago and to this day, my husband still encourages me that things will be ok and that I have nothing to worry about.  That even if my sugars are fluctuating still, he will do all that he can to help keep me in control so that when we are ready to have children, we can do so healthily.  His family is even encouraging and when cooking holiday meals, they keep my diabetes in mind, trying to make dishes low in sugar, carbs, fat, & sodium.  (Sodium has nothing to do with it, but my husband & I both don't like salty foods.)  

So, needless to say, I think that you just haven't found that "soul mate" yet.  If someone really and truly loves you, they will accept you for who you are, everything that you are, and all your faults.  Not only that, but they will let their family know and ask them to be just as encouraging to love you the way they love you because in the end, it would be a family's unconditional love to accept a "new" family member.  Be patient, love will find you when you least expect it.  Besides, you deserve so much better than someone who can so easily dismiss you for something that may just be but a small hurdle in a relationship, but nothing that cannot be jumped over and accomplished.

All the best with the new year!

Like many of the teenagers that have said something about this. I am only 15 and think that people that we date should hear us out before they juged us, Just cause we have diabetes does not mean that we cant have kids or get married. My brother soon to be wife mother is a diabetic and is marred for the 2nd time and has 2 kids which i think that she had before she got diabetes. But still I think that it is un fair that people just want to dump you just cause you have diabetes. I am dating the same guy for the 2nd time and when I told him the 1st time we were dating that I had diabetes. He told me that he kown that and that he talked about it in health class at school ( the health teacher talks about stuuf like that when it is the mouth to talk about it) He always told me that iy did not matter to him if I had diabetes, and he said that his mom and dad told him that I have diabetes, I love that he is like that. When I told him that i had diabetes I though that he would dump me like that but he did not do that. And I am only 15 and I found the guy that takes me for me not dont want to change me and I love him for that.

[quote user="stilledlife"]

Wedding vowels have inspired me in times when I think about my future.

[/quote]

Especially the "A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y's" :P

[quote user="Pat"]

[quote user="stilledlife"]

Wedding vowels have inspired me in times when I think about my future.

[/quote]

Especially the "A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y's" :P

[/quote]

Yes - vows are promises. Vowels are letters. ;)

 

On topic though, I would agree with others to not make a big deal out of it. If you have to check your BG, don't go to the bathroom, but just test where ever you happen to be. You don't have to make a big production out of it, waving a lancet around, etc. but just say, "oh I have to test my blood sugar." Then when you get the 'surprised' look, just mention, Oh, yeah, I have diabetes.

If you wait a while and then sit them down and say, 'I have something very serious to tell you: I have diabetes." I think the person will take it as being a much bigger shock and tend to think it is much more dramatic than it is in day to day life. I'm not saying you should minimize how challenging diabetes is, just that saying that showing it is just a part of your daily life, would seem to be the way to go to gain more acceptance as just another aspect of who you are.

Marriage is a union of two hearts. I got type 1 late in life and my husband supports me all the way. When we got genetic counseling when I was pregnant with child #1 we discussed everything, including diabetes. The doctor said that I had a 1 in 5 chance of getting diabetes because of my grandmother's type 1. We did not expect that my dad would get LADA and I would get type 1 at 42.

In short, if the person you're dating cannot accept your diabetes (in fact all of you), then he/she is not for you.

[quote user="okcpwd1"]

Marriage is a union of two hearts bank accounts.

[/quote]

Can't wait!

diabetics are dirty, gross, and contagious. and i'm pretty sure it says somewhere in the bible "thou shalt not procreate with a person of sugary blood."

or something like that. 

therefore, we shouldn't be allowed to get married, have children, or vote, and westboro baptist church should protest at all our funerals.

[quote user="Pat"]

[quote user="okcpwd1"]

Marriage is a union of two hearts bank accounts.

[/quote]

Can't wait!

[/quote]

hahaha.  part of me agrees with you pat.

a spouse is someone who shares the same financial vision of the future that you do.  luckily right now my wife is my sugar mama, but i know the day will come when i have to repay her.

now, thats what i call marriage a damn good agreement.

hahaha C your satire is hilarious.