Insensitive comments, language, and jokes

Coping & Emotional Support
21

RE jokes: For me, it really depends on the joke. I don’t appreciate the ones that imply we’re lazy. But even I’ll make “that has so much sugar I’ll go into a coma” type jokes. Dark humor and sarcasm are two of the ways I get through stressful situations, so I’m not going to write off all diabetes jokes ever.

RE insensitive comments: I usually just reply with something simple like “I’m so sorry to hear that” or “that must have been tough” and leave it at that. If they seem knowledgeable about diabetes or they go into detail about how their loved one handled it, I may let the conversation continue. But I don’t encourage it.

RE person first language: I don’t have a problem with “diabetic.” It’s one of many adjectives and/or nouns that describe me. Saying “I’m diabetic” or “I’m a diabetic” is no different than any of the following:

  • I’m a woman
  • I’m a brunette
  • I’m a daughter
  • I’m a Jew
  • I’m a zookeeper

In my mind, the context matters more than the word itself (for example, if someone called me a weak woman or a greedy Jew, then I’d be offended). So, going along with that, I think saying “person with diabetes” is overly complicated and a little silly. I wouldn’t refer to myself as “a person with brown hair” or “a person with parents.” That said, I’m aware that there are people out there who find some of the terms in my list offensive, so I try to be sensitive to that. I was watching a webinar about diabetes and stress management a while back and the therapist giving the presentation said that he takes his lead from the person with whom he’s speaking. He starts out using person first language, but if they decide to use the term diabetic, then he will too, and I really appreciated that stance. Diabetes can take up a lot of brain space and if being diabetic is what’s stressing me out - if I’m “feeling diabetic” as he put it - then that emotion should be acknowledged.

3 Likes
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The misunderstandings about type 1 and type 2, and especially the jokes about diabetics being lazy, really bother me, too. But, I think it’s important for us, as type 1 diabetics, not to fall into the same prejudices. You said “To be clumped together with those who didn’t treat their body right annoys me,” and part of me feels the same. But we also contribute to the problem when we say that type 2 diabetics don’t work as hard as we do. There are genetic and socio-economic components to type 2 diabetes and not everyone who gets type 2 gets it because they didn’t take care of themselves. I can tell you that my own uncle had type 2 diabetes and he was never overweight. In contrast, the first two people I met in college with type 1 diabetic loved ones told me that their loved ones developed complications because they didn’t take care of themselves. My point is that everyone has the potential to make bad decisions but no one deserves to be diabetic and we need to remember that, too.

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I’m looking for that comment I made but don’t see it. Are you sure I said that?

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No, not you, @Spooky. My last comment was in response to @Darth_Yader. It should say that above my post (does on my screen, anyway).

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:slightly_smiling_face:thank you My mom had T2 for many years but no longer does and I didn’t think I’d say that.